Author: The J.A.M. a.k.a. Numbuh i PM
A story about Mary Melody, and how she feels alone in the shadows of the stars. Major selfinsertion here, Plucky bashing and Star bashing! Nominated for 9 UKE Awards! Reuploaded with corrections.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 66,273 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 02-06-09 - Published: 12-28-02 - Status: Complete - id: 1148299
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
CREDITS AND BLOOPERS
The reason why I have Calamity and Little Beeper as Mexicans is because in the episode "Piece of Mind", written by Jim Reardon, at the beginning of Calamity's flashback, the mailbox in front of his lair reads "Los Coyotes". Since Little Beeper was born in that area as well, he also qualifies for Mexican citizenship.
—and the locker opened again.
"CUT!" Mary suddenly turned and saw it, and chuckled.
Hamton J. Pig, however, was created by Jeff Pidgeon.
Hubie and Bertie were created by Charles Martin "Chuck" Jones.
Kwicky Koala and Droopy were created by Tex Avery.
Bombino's Pizza was originally created by Sherry Stoner.
Bugs Bunny was created by Tex Avery.
Sniffles was created by Chuck Jones.
Bosko was created by Hugh Harman and Rudy Ising, a.k.a., "Harman-Ising".
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner were created by Tom Ruegger.
—and stopped, for some reason. He then pulled his left paw a bit, and declared with a strange voice, "Ugh, I am stuck!" Then with his normal voice, "Um, cut, I guess. A little help here?"
Kwicky Koala, who is © Hanna-Barbera Productions.
Street Hawk is © Glen Larson Productions/Universal.
Droopy, who is © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.
and The J.A.M. and Cygmon, who are © The J.A.M.
The jaguar peeked from the door, smirked, looked at the camera, and just sighed, "Cut…"
At which the mice spat and began laughing again, making the class laugh too. Sighing, the jaguar just turned and made the "cut" gesture with his digits.
Bicycle furnished by Montero.
Mary Melody's wardrobe furnished by Oscar de la Renta.
The J.A.M.'s wardrobe furnished by Yazbek, and Casio.
Montana Max's wardrobe furnished by Pierre Cardin, and Rolex.
M&M's furnished by Mars.
Yoghurt furnished by Yoplait.
"CUT," was all he could say, through his teeth.
"CUT!" roared the panther.
Noticing this, the panther lowered his features in slight fright, and replied, "When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen." Everyone "sheeshed", and straightened up.
Additional casting by The J.A.M.
Voice direction by Andrea Romano.
Mary Melody is Cree Summer Franks
Buster Bunny is Charles Adler
Babs Bunny is Tress MacNeille
Bugs Bunny is Noel Blanc
Hubie Mouse is also Noel Blanc
Bertie Mouse is also Noel Blanc
Elmyra Duff is also Cree Summer Franks
Plucky Duck is Joe Alaskey
Shirley The Loon is Gail Matthius
Lightning Rodriguez is Luke Ruegger
Calamity Coyote is Himself
Little Beeper is Himself
Hamton J. Pig is Hadley Kay
Fifi LaFume is Kath Soucie
The News Announcer is Wolf Blitzer
Sniffles Mouse is also Noel Blanc
Bosko the Vault Keeper is Carman Maxwell
Roderick Rat is also Charles Adler
Rhubella Rat is also Tress MacNeille
The Doctor is Susan Blu
Leloni Bunni is Herself
The Incredible Werekitty is Herself
Dot Warner is also Tress MacNeille
The J.A.M. is Himself
She nearly threw her milkshake to the ceiling upon hearing that—and she did, actually. Moments later, it fell right on the jaguar's head, drenching him. Everyone laughed, but then Mary squealed as The J.A.M. stood, leaned over, grabbed her, and gave her a messy kiss on the lips.
He then released her, and as he padded off, he mumbled, "Cut…"
Hamton J. Pig appears courtesy of Oscar Meyer, Inc.
Vinnie The Deer does not appear in this fanfic courtesy of Kevin Mickel.
And slammed his thigh on the desk.
"Ouch," he hissed, while making the "cut" gesture as everyone laughed.
"Hold That Duck" and "Frankenmyra" were written by Peter Hastings, Paul Dini, Paul Rugg, and Rich Arons.
The episode Mary first refers to is "Cross Country Kitty", and it was written by Eddie "Narf" Fitzgerald.
The episodes where Lightning Rodriguez was supposed to appear in is "You Asked For It" and "High Toon".
The episode where Sneezer got the earful is "Phone Call From the 405", and it was written by Tom Ruegger.
The "Saturday Night Live" spoof was "Weekday Afternoon Live", and it was written by Peter Hastings, Deanna Oliver, and Paul Dini.
The phrase "A Hard Day's Night" was originally conceived by, Richard Starkey—ahem, sorry: Sir Ringo Starr.
The "Street Hawk" intro was originally conceived and written by Glen A. Larson.
Mary's final exclamation was originally said by Greg "X" Volz.
—but suddenly stopped in his tracks, making everyone else pile up into him—
—and made him fall, again with everyone piled up on top of him.
"Hey, what gives?" asked Babs, annoyed.
The J.A.M. leaned into the frame and said, "Cut…"
"The Lonely Man" (End Theme of "The Incredible Hulk") is © 1999 Studio Tracks Music Group. Written by Joe Harnell. Performed by Plucky Duck. Used without permission.
"Cielito Lindo" is Public Domain. Written by Quirino Mendoza y Cortéz. Performed by The J.A.M. and Luke Ruegger. I don't need anyone's permission to use it, because it's public domain, duh!
"What's Up" (What's Going On) is © 1996 BMG Records. Written by Lynda Perry. Performed by The J.A.M. and Luke Ruegger. Used without permission.
"The Tigger Song" is © 1974 Disney Records. Written by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman. Performed by Luke Ruegger. Used without permission.
"Macho Man" is © 1978 Casablanca Records. Written by Jacques Morali, Henri Belolo, Victor Willis, and Peter Whitehead. Performed by Luke Ruegger. Used without permission.
"Pretty Woman" is © 1964 Virgin Records. Written by Roy Orbison. Performed by The J.A.M. and Luke Ruegger. Used without permission.
"Dizzy" is © 1969 ABC-Paramount Records. Written by Tommy Roe. Performed by The J.A.M. and Luke Ruegger. Used without permission.
"Hey, Mickey" is © 1982 Numa Records. Written by Tony Basil. Performed by Luke Ruegger. Used without permission.
"I Wanna Tell The World" is © 1992 Reunion Records. Written by Michael W. Smith, Mark Heimermann, and Toby McKeehan. Performed by The J.A.M. and Luke Ruegger. Used without permission.
The final serenade was inspired (and some segments were downright ripped off) from Les Luthiers' "El Rey Enamorado" (The King in Love), from the album "Muchas Gracias De Nada" (Thanks A Lot You're Welcome), which is © 1979 Pueblo Records. Originally written by Marcos Mundstock, Carlos López Puccio, Jorge Maronna, Carlos Núñez Cortés, and Daniel Rabinovich. Used without permission. Parody lyrics written by and © The J.A.M. Performed by The J.A.M. and Luke Ruegger.
And the pounce was so hard that it actually knocked him over.
"CUT!" he yelled, being muffled by her tail and the laughter.
All of the characters, places, and events portrayed in this fanfic are fictitious. Any resemblance to any real persons, places, or events is unintentional and purely coincidental, except in cases of severe self-insertion, I suppose, but even then the similarities are controlled, he he.
He looked at the camera, sort of scared, "Cut!"
"I knew I shouldn't have hired that special effect crew. CUT!"
To Microsoft's Encyclopædia Encarta '99, for all the scientific classifications.
To Roberto Gómez Bolaños "Chespirito", who hopefully won't mind me having ripped off a few of his catch phrases.
To Joaquín Salvador Lavado "Quino", also hoping he doesn't mind me using some of his material as well.
To Les Luthiers.
To Kevin "HKU" Mickel, for the info on dart rifles, and Bosko.
"LIKE, I THINK I HURT MY (CENSORED) I SAT SO HARD, ER SUM JUNK!" Everyone screamed with laughter, and later helped her up.
"Cut…" he chuckled.
"CUT!" yelled the jaguar behind her. "Lights!" The lights turned on, revealing Mary laughing.
"I thlipped!" she said, and everyone laughed again.
"What's that, huh-huh?" asked the American mouse.
"These—" (KATHUMP! CRASH!) "—are to help us wreck tables." Laughter again. "Sigh…cut…"
Babs slid down the window pane.
"CUT! Who put the bullet-proof glass here?"
"Now what do you see?"
"Oo, la la! I see ze tape ees stuck!"
"CUT," he growled.
To Bunnyman and Nathaniel T. Freeman, for the info on Lightning Rodriguez.
To Nathaniel T. Freeman and Thorne, for the info on the creators of Tiny Toons Adventures and Animaniacs.
To Leondrel Gonzalez, for the tapes.
To Nathaniel T. Freeman (again) for the re-edit.
To Rottin Kid/The Incredible Werekitty and Leloni Bunny, for agreeing to cameo here.
"— buildings—? Oh, please, cut."
Mary sniffled, "Sorry, guys, you pick up a lot of dust there!
Also, the chapter titles were being counted in Spanish.
"QUELLE!" she screamed.
"What was wrong with that!" demanded Leloni.
"Lel, Ah am NOT, 'ow you say, marreed!"
"That which is mine would become thine, and ours!
And it would become the object of envy for them and all!" Lightning frowned, stiffened his tail, looked down at the jaguar for a moment, looked up again—
—and just exploded in laughter again.
The jaguar just wiped his face.
"Hey, do you take requests?" asked Mary, from above.
—bonking his head on the door frame.
"OW!" Amid the chuckling, he managed to say, "CUT!"
Mary Melody comes out of the TTA rings and proclaims, "For K-ACME News, this is Mary Melody, signing off!"
I AM THE J.A.M.