Summary:

After Lucius Malfoys banishment to Azkaban, Draco Malfoy has lost all faith in everything he ever believed in. Now returning for his Sixth year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he must face predjudice, disgrace and disgust from his Peers and Professors alike. Will he be able to find faith where there is none in someone he thought least likely to understand him? Or will it all become just to much...

Pride of Ice

Chapter One: Mirror Mirror
By Cathy-Bloom

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, in fact i'm awfully poor, something that Rowling-sama isn't anymore. -.-;; The title comes from the translation of the song, 'Koori-tachi no PURAIDO' from Fushigi Yuugi, which i don't happen to own either, any lyrics from here on in, do not belong to me as i'm not very musically talented

I leaned heavily against the cool porcelain, my hands clenching the sink so hard that my knuckles were turning white. The ornamental mirror overtop of the sink showing someone that i barely recognised anymore.

In the past fourty eight hours i seem to have grown up a lot, staring at my own pale reflection, i can still hear my mothers desperate sobbing echoing inside my head, my silverblond hair, usually well tamed and slick, is a mess, it sticks out at odd angles now, kind of like Potter's does.

Yeah, i bet Potters laughing now i mutter darkly at my reflection, my grey eyes seem distant, bloodshot from lack of sleep, the dark circles around them giving me a haunted, sad sort of appearance i've never seen before.

Imagining Potter and his friends amusement, it resurfaces the dull heaviness in my stomach again, strange that, i haven't eaten since the owl from the ministry came after Fathers trial. Mother hadn't been up to leaving the house to watch and i quite frankly hadn't wanted to. So that leaves me, for the second day since he was sent to Azkaban, disgracing the family name, my name, standing, talking to myself in the bloody mirror.

Raising a hand to attempt to brush my hair off of my face i find myself stopping, Fathers constant nagging in my head, 'Get your bloody hair off of your face, you're a Malfoy, not some common lowlife who doesn't own a comb!'.

I draw my hand away from my face with another sigh, my reflection showing someone so unlike the usual me it was startling, the face in the mirror looked frightened, lonely and desperate, none of which traits i usually possess. I can feel my shoulders shaking as anger boils deep in my blood.

He did this to me, the ruddy bastard of a father, who so often told me i was pure-blooded, that i was better then the others. It was always, 'You're a pure-blood, You should be ashamed some filthy Mud-blood is beating you in your classes, Have you no pride boy?', or it was, 'Potter? You let that beat you at Quidditch again? You are a Malfoy! Malfoy's don't get beaten by nasty little common-blooded pieces of trash, do you understand?'.

The anger welled up in my chest, the reflection staring back at me showed none of the anger i knew was coursing through my veins, hollow shadowed grey eyes staring back at me from a to-pale face, my bare chest was quivering as i clutched the sink, Where did your Pride get you father! , i hear myself spit out.

Where did your Pure-Blood land you! , my own voice seems to be gaining strength, it's ringing in my ears.. Grovelling at the feet of your Master! Where did your good breeding lead you? Straight into bloody Azkaban! Thats where Father! .

I took several pained breaths as emotions raged in my brain, in my chest my heart felt ready to explode it was so heavy, yet still hollow cold grey eyes met my own in the mirror, You disgraced us all! The entire Wizarding World thinks we are dirt! We are no better then the mud-bloods you hate so much Father! Look what you've done to me! .

My entire bodies trembling as i try to cling to the porcelain for support, i know i'm being to loud, i can hear someone scurrying up the hallway to see what the fuss is about, but i can't stop. My last words are still echoing in the vast ensuite from my chambers, Look what you did to me Father! Even now when i look in the mirror... my cold hollow eyes seem to falter and limp blonde hair sways in my face.

When i look in the mirror, I see you Father! I don't want to see you! I don't want to be like you! A worthless slave chained to his master, unable to show what you really feel because you're afraid! I don't want to be like that! No more father! I've had enough of being your puppet, I'm breaking my chains right now! the hollow grey eyes are staring back at me mockingly as i pour my soul out, just like his.

My hand is shaking as i raise it, i never realised just how delicate or frail i am, without another thought my hand has collided with the mirror, as it shatters excruciating pain rushes down my arm, scarlet blood blossoming over my fingers.

That's when i feel it, the warm stinging in my eye as something warm trails down my cold pale face, followed by another, then another, staring at the shattered mirror i reach a bleeding hand to touch the tear unsurely.

Am i crying? i ask myself, my voice is hoarse and unsure as blood from my hand mingles with the tear and smears my much-to-pale face, then i look up and meet my eyes, such a difference i haven't seen since i first looked into the mirror, they are brimmed with tears which are spilling down my face at an alarming rate, no longer do they look cold and mocking like Fathers, I am Crying i mumble out in somewhat surprise.

I don't know why, but the feeling in my heart seems to have exploded, im on the floor now, pieces of the mirror cutting into my bare skin as my body convulses on the ground with the wracking sobs that have come with the explosion, never have i cried before, now that i've started, i don't think i can stop.

It's not long enough before the maid appears, a middle-aged witch by the name of Joanne. She gasps and begins to shriek about something i can't quite make out, i'm feeling rather lightheaded now, perhaps it's to do with the pools of blood at my side.

Fathers voice insists in my head, 'Stop crying you dispicable brat, you are not some snivelling filthy little muggle-child'. I banish the voice with an angry snarl of, I'll do what i want , this seems to startle Joanne, she is trying to pull me to my feet, carefully avoiding the large amounts of blood that's pooled at my side.

She tugs on my uninjured hand yet i pull away from her automatically, the stupid girl had no idea. She's drawn her wand now, finding myself miraculously floating, now i can hear my blood splatter as it hits the tiled floor, my heads buzzing with the miraculous sensation that's making me grin like an idiot while tears stream down my face.

She believes i'm insane already i think, as she fixes the mirror with an almost bored wave of her wand and mutter of, 'Reparo'. She reaches for a cupboard beneath the sink and wrenches it open, removing a booklet with St Mungos Hospital's crest on it i realise she's probably going to heal me. Right now it doesn't bother me, my head feels remarkably fuzzy.

She seems to have found what she was looking for because she's rising her wand and muttering something that escapes my hearing, bandages appear from nowhere and begin to wrap around the collection of scratches all over my bare chest, the roll of bandages concentrates on my hand for a long time carefully winding it's way between my fingers.

More then a little unnerved by my appearance i guess she turns away and casts her wand toward the broom closet as a bandage winds around my forehead, stemming the flow of blood from the cut above my right eye.

I watch a mop as it floats eerily from the cupboard before begginning to mop up the blood, she then allows her levitating charm to break and i've landed heavily on my back. I watch her shoes appear in my vision before my mind deciphers she's telling me to stand, not even Joanne the cleaning maid can stand the sight of me now.

I manage to clamber to my feet, staring unseeingly at the door, with mostly exasperation i suspect she whips it open and shoves me, a little harder then she probably should have, straight through it, stumbling stupidly i walk, uncomprehending what she's saying, to sit on my bed, flexing my bandaged hand as her voice buzzes in my ears.

I catch my mothers name amongst her jumble of uncomprehensible words, irritated by me she jabs a finger at the magical calendar on the wall, quite clearly reading in vibrant green lumionous letters, 'August 29th' my mind suddenly seemed to adjust.

I was leaving for Hogwarts in three days, that was what she had been rambling about, i hadn't even gone to Diagon Alley to get my school stuff. The thought of returning to Hogwarts was not pleasant, i wasn't looking forward to Potter, Weasley and Grangers smug laughter behind my back. I glance up to see Joanne had left, having grown sick of my ignoring her.

I lay back on my bed, staring up at the deep green hangings that surround my bed, something felt so empty now as my mind drifted toward the things that used to make me happy, putting Potter Weasley and the Mudblood down, trying to get the half-breed fired.

It all seemed to empty, so worthless, like something my father would have relished in. Somehow that thought makes everything all the more meaningless, it makes me think it was all very shallow and pathetic indeed, like he is.

Arrogant, confident, two words often used to describe me, and, now it makes me feel sick, those two words so often associated with my Father, had been used to describe me. When i think of every snide comment, jeer, it makes me feel like i'm some sort of experiment concocted by me father, i want to do something, anything to prove i'm not like him, but it's been sixteen years in the making, and as they always say, Old Habits Die Hard.

nani ga hoshii? sore wo ubatte yaru kara nani ga daiji? subete kowashite yaru kara doko e yuku no? michi wo fusaide yaru kara nani wo suru no? muda to muimi sore kara...

(Translation)= What do you want?'Cuz i'll snatch it away.
What's precious to you? 'Cuz i'll destroy it all.
Where are you going? 'Cuz i'll block your way.
What will you do? It's futile and meaningless
And so on...

If you liked it, go ahead and Review, if you've got suggestions for improvement, go ahead and review, if you just wanna tell me how bad i sucked, go ahead and review, Ahh go on, Ya will ^^;;...er to much Father Ted for me.