Author: Yami No Tenshi

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. If I did, I would be rolling in cash, and not be a starving student.

Summary: Suboshi's thoughts as he murders Tamahome's family and some reminiscing about Amiboshi. Rated PG-13 for some violence, and hints of incest. Suboshi's POV.

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'Loneliness your silent whisper
Fills a river of tears through the night
Memory you never let me cry
And you, You never said good-bye
Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone
Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart' -X-Japan "Tears"

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I survey my victims that are in front of me, trying to decide which one should go first. They all look very young..waiting for their brother to come home, just as I had once waited for my brother to come back to me. It's because of their brother that my aniki will never return to me. So very young..maybe I should let them-

NO!

I push that thought to the back of my mind. It was their brother who killed the one I treasure most! Because of their brother, they would have to suffer. They all had to know the lengths I will go to, just to avenge aniki. I discovered that while I had been thinking, I had unconsciously murdered the children's father.

He was half draped over the table, slowly bleeding to death. His crimson blood splashed onto the floor as my ryuseisuui continued its vicious assault upon his remains, running on my command. When I finally stop, I pause and stare for a moment. But for only a moment. This was the man who produced that..that monster!
Remorse and regret are pushed to the back of my mind, and my heart darkens, overwhelmed with hatred and anger. My mind only screams one thing.

Revenge.

I hear the children's screams, and stalk after them. They are going to be next. I corner them, and leer down at the eldest. It seems he's trying to protect his younger siblings, who are all crouched behind him, attempting to hide. The boy bravely steps forward, holding a carving knife in front of him as means to challenge me.

I pause and smirk down at him, daring him to come at me. But, I feel a little bit of admiration. For such a little kid, he displayed amazing valor. However, these feelings of admiration don't stop me from slamming my ryuseisuui straight through his chest. I watch the blood fly all over, drenching everything. Including me.

I grin, almost maliciously. This is what revenge is. It almost felt..refreshing. I watch the eldest slump to the floor, the knife still in his hands, his blood seeping from the wounds on his body onto the floor. His siblings scream in terror, and try to run away from me. Sorry..there is no escape. Not for them. There is also none for me.

I allow my ryuseisuui to devour them, one by one, ignoring their cries. I wipe some of the blood from my face. My quest here was almost finished. Only the youngest remains. She's only a small girl; she couldn't be more than five years old. She looks right up at me; her eyes shining with grief and terror.
Despite what her instincts might have been telling her, she took one step closer to me. I grimace and raise my hand, preparing to deliver her into deaths arms. When I hear her speak, I pause for a moment.

"Why? Why do you do this?"

I remain silent as I hear her question. My brain automatically declared that it was for my aniki. It was the truth. I would never kill children just for the fun of it. Ever. This was my revenge on Tamahome and the Suzaku schiseishi. I would hold to that as long as I would live.

"Your brother..he took away someone I cared for very much. He took my brother away from me."
I say my words almost reluctantly. I shouldn't talk..not to someone I was about to kill. I raise my hand once more, but she continues to talk.

"You loved your nii-san very much, didn't you?"
Her childish innocence somehow strikes my almost barren heart. It was the truth. I had loved him more than anything, and those monsters had just snatched him away from me! My mind momentarily clouds, and I slowly begin to lower my ryuseisuui as I give my response.

"With all my heart.." My mind slowly begins to fade to the memory I tried so hard to suppress. From when aniki left me..

"You can't be serious!" Suboshi's voice rang through the gardens, his voice growing louder by the second.

"Please! You can'-"

His twin cut him off with a sharp look. He had assumed Suboshi would act this way. Perhaps he should have just left with out telling his twin. However, he had remembered the panic caused the last time he left with out saying, so he had chosen to tell his younger twin.

"Shunkaku..I must do this. You have to understand. I have no other choice.." His voice slowly trailed off as Suboshi threw his arms around Amiboshi, hugging him tightly.

Suboshi clenched his teeth in frustration, holding his brother close. He could feel tears of anger and sadness welling up in his eyes as he thought about what his twin could go through if he got captured. Most of all, he just didn't want his brother to leave him like he did before. All those lonely and painful nights were things he had hoped to never go through again. Ever.

Amiboshi gently stroked Suboshi's hair, talking to him softly, attempting to soothe his younger brother. But nothing he said could dull the ache Suboshi was feeling, or cease his tears.

"Aniki..if you go, I won't be able to-" Suboshi began to talk, but his twin cut him off; gently but forcibly.

"Yes, you will. If I were to die, I know you could go on, and don't tell me that you couldn't. You have a strong heart and will, Shun. Put them to good use."

The dark clouds above began to pour their tears onto the earth, reflecting the two brothers feelings and emotions, as they stood under the cloudy sky. Amiboshi held his brother for a few more moments, ignoring the rain that was soaking them both. He released Suboshi, attempting to pull away from him.

"Let's go..you'll catch cold."

Amiboshi started to turn, intending to lead his brother back to the palace so that he wouldn't catch cold. Suboshi looked at his brothers retreating back, then grabbed Amiboshi's wrist, holding on tightly. Amiboshi turned back to his brother with a quizzical expression on his face.

"Shun..what.?"

He didn't finish his sentence. Suboshi took his bother his hand, and gently pressed his lips to his brother's rain soaked palm.
-Aniki..I wish I could protect you.-
Suboshi lifted his eyes up to his brother, talking as he did so.

"I'll wait for you."

Amiboshi smiled gently and allowed himself to graze his twins face with his fingers. Somehow, he felt as if his heart were tearing apart..a feeling that seemed to tell him something like this will never last. Their bond. He tried to ignore this, determined to stay strong for his bother and himself.

"I know you will. Ashiteru, Shunkaku."

Suboshi nodded and held onto Amiboshi's hand, ignoring the rain that was still falling onto Amiboshi and himself. He smiled weakly at his bother.

"I know aniki. I know."

I suddenly snap back to the present, angry that I let myself be distracted by my memories. The child still stares at me, looking at me almost questioningly. I quickly raise my arm again, bringing my ryuseisuui up as well. I look at the child's tear stained face, and somehow..I see some of myself there. The part of me that always waited anxiously for my brother to return. I also see a little bit of aniki as well. His innocence, and his kindness.. I unexpectedly feel tears come to my eyes, and I look away.

"Forgive me..but this is my revenge."

I still have my eyes averted; even after I hear her body hit the floor. I turn my back and begin to leave. Then I hear the child's last words to me.

"I..do.."

I look down at my hands. They're covered in blood. So is everything else. Suddenly, I find myself wanting to cry. I want some kind of comfort to ease this new kind of pain I feel. No..I had to be strong. I straighten up with a hard expression on my face. No. I would stay true to what I felt. This was the Suzaku schiseishi's fault. If they hadn't killed aniki, I wouldn't have had to go through with this. My vengeance..

I turn and walk out of the house, the same expression on my face. Now Tamahome will know exactly how I felt when I found out aniki was dead. He and the rest will all know..

I stand on the rooftop, watching the seshi walk into Tamahome's home. I hear it all. The miko's cries, Tamahome's last words with his sister. Everything. I draw attention to myself by playing one of aniki's melodies on a flute. They react to this with shock, thinking I am Amiboshi. I suddenly feel driven by a blind rage. They have the nerve to confront me about what I did; yet they have the audacity to sit there and lie to me! They killed aniki! What they're telling me is lies! How dare they try to justify what they did!

I attack them, but Tamahome steps in. All the better! Now I can complete the job!

I can't breathe. That warrior is pressing down on my neck, cutting of my air. He's ready to snap my neck. I almost wish that he would. I want to be with my aniki. But, his words come back to me.
You will live on..

I begin to struggle, a little half heartedly, but I still try. It's no use..I can feel myself losing consciousness...I hear a loud boom, and I feel myself being picked up and whisked away. I then hear Soi's voice, telling me I wasn't ready, and so forth. I don't respond. I shut my eyes, and let myself drift into unconsciousness thinking about him. My aniki...

-Owari-

Authors Notes: This is an odd one. I got the inspiration for it after I noticed how many people hated Suboshi. Their basic claim seems to be 'We hat him because he killed Tamahome's family.' Yes, it's true that he did, but you also have to try to see things from his point of view. He committed that act right after he lost the person that mattered to him the most in life. Most likely, he wanted Tamahome to feel the pain he felt inside, wanting to make people hurt as he hurt. Anyway, that's enough of my rambling. I'm sorry if this was a little OOC..didn't mean to make it that way. Just in case you couldn't tell, the flash back is told in third person POV in italics. Okay, thanks for reading my fic!