A/N: I don’t own Jennifer Lopez. (Nor do I want to.) Don’t own the song, don’t own Gandalf… all I own in my idea.

And don’t take this in any sick way. I’m referring to Gandalf’s “walking staff” or whatever he calls it.

Sung to the tune of “Jenny From the Block” by J-Lo.

Don’t be fooled by the robes that I’ve got

I’m still, I’m still Gandalf with the staff

Used to be gray, now I have the white

No matter where I go, they know where I came from

MIDDLE EARTH!

From the Shire to Rohan

To Rivendell to Lothlorien to this I’m famous

I keep cool as the people recognize me

I’m white I thought I told ya

I’ve never met Oprah

But that’s just me

I ain’t phony, don’t hate on me

What ya get is what ya see

Don’t be fooled by the robes that I’ve got

I’m still, I’m still Gandalf with the staff

Used to be gray, now I have the white

No matter where I go, they know where I came from

MIDDLE EARTH!

Don’t be fooled by the robes that I’ve got

I’m still, I’m still Gandalf with the staff

Used to be gray, now I have the white

No matter where I go, they know where I came from

MIDDLE EARTH!

I’m back on earth like this

Getting into business

I’m in control and lovin it

Idiots got me laughing, kid

Love my staff and my new look

Put friends first

And don’t forget to stay white

To me it’s like breathing

Don’t be fooled by the robes that I’ve got

I’m still, I’m still Gandalf with the staff

Used to be gray, now I have the white

No matter where I go, they know where I came from

MIDDLE EARTH!

Don’t be fooled by the robes that I’ve got

I’m still, I’m still Gandalf with the staff

Used to be gray, now I have the white

No matter where I go, they know where I came from

MIDDLE EARTH!

(Repeat the chorus several more times. Gandalf then bursts out into J-Lo moves, doing all sorts of moves we never wished to see Gandalf doing. Mothers shield their small children’s eyes and Gandalf bows low and struts off the stage.)