A Work of Fiction by: Els-chan

A/N: Yes, I am fully aware that I have gone stark raving mad. No, I don't know exactly what possessed me to write this, although I have a feeling that watching too much Gravitation and reading too many HP fics may have had a hand in it. Actually, this was inspired by little convos I wrote down that I found after being hidden away in the back of a notebook since the summer. It basically was a bunch of outtakes from Gravitation. It didn't take much after that for my crazed, yaoi-filled mind to apply it to HP. Also, it's the only thing keeping me from going into a deep angst-filled state that 'Mortal Coil' is trying to drive me into. And I promise, that wasn't intended to be a shameless plug. These chapters are going to be pretty short, mostly because I find it hard to concentrate enough on actually getting this into story format before my mind starts wandering into happy little fangirl land. So, just enjoy this silly little parody. Feedback is always welcome and encouraged.

Warnings: There's slash in them thar hills! HP/SS.

Disclaimer: I own nothing…well, at least none of these characters…

The day had started off normally enough. Harry had woken up, brushed his teeth, gotten dressed, and then headed down to the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione in tow. He'd exchanged his insults and death glares with Malfoy before sitting down to a nice, hearty breakfast care of the house elves. He endured the praise and fawning-over by a number of people not in Slytherin, most notably the Creevy brothers, for his final defeat of Voldemort a month ago. He relaxed once Ron and Hermione stopped in to get everyone to leave him alone. He looked up at the Staff Table and glared at Snape (purely out of habit, as neither really hated the other anymore), waited for the sneer, then, satisfied that life was normal and all was right with the world, he started in on his breakfast. Pity that his nice, normal day was about to be spoiled by some twisted author's manipulation of everyone's favorite, though slightly mad, headmaster.

Once the Great Hall had been completely filled, Albus Dumbledore stood and called for everyone's attention. Severus cringed inwardly. He knew what was coming- Dumbledore had already informed the staff of his latest "brilliant plan" at yesterday's staff meeting. Honestly, what was the man thinking? A production of a "television show" (Albus had shattered the fourth wall several times during his explanation), to be produced and performed by members of the staff and student body alike. As Dumbledore explained this to the students, Severus thought back to the premise of the show - something about gay rockstars or some nonsense. Normally, he wouldn't care about such garbage, but Albus had already taken the liberty of drawing up the final cast list without consulting anybody (Severus had a sneaking suspicion that the "author" Albus had referred to more than once had a hand in this), and had "oh-so-generously" cast Severus as one of the leads - the gay boyfriend - across from none other than Harry Potter. Of course, Severus protested this until he was blue in the face, knowing full well that it wouldn't do any good. Once Albus had his mind set on something, there was no use trying to change it. He decided that once the headmaster finished his speech, he would make a mad dash for the dungeons and lock himself in his rooms. He was sure he had some poison lying about somewhere.

Harry sighed deeply as the headmaster described his latest project. For some reason, it gave him a deep sense of foreboding and, noting Snape's more-irritated-than-usual expression, he decided that he really wanted no part of this. None at all.

"Also, all students actively involved in the production will be exempt from end-of-term exams," Dumbledore was saying. Okay, maybe having a little part in this wouldn't be so bad, Harry decided. Seriously, how bad could it be? Professor Lupin seemed fine with it, although he did keep sending Harry somewhat troubling looks. And a couple of muggle-born girls at the Ravenclaw table seemed absolutely thrilled when they heard the title - "Gravitation". Maybe this wouldn't be so bad…as long as he didn't have to do anything really horrifying, like singing, he should be fine.

"Finally, we will be posting the cast list immediately after breakfast. All student members of the cast should pick up a script from either Professor McGonagall or Professor Sprout sometime before lunch. That is all," Dumbledore concluded, then reclaimed his seat beside Snape, just as Snape stood to leave. Dumbledore stopped him by placing a hand on his elbow. "Where are you going, Severus? We're just about to post the cast list for the students!"

"I know," Snape replied. "I'm off to locate one of the few remaining Death Eaters. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to use the killing curse on me." And with that, Severus swept out of the Great Hall, his robes billowing dramatically behind him.