She sat down in front of Doc's, itching for the cigarettes she had
left in her jacket back at the hospital.
She'd left to chase after Luka. It felt so natural, "Luka! Heyy, Luka!"
She'd spent most of their relationship doing that. When Abby had time to
sit and think about it, he did that to her, just in his own way.
He didn't announce it to the world that he was calling for her.
Abby kept walking towards the El, hands in her pockets. Luckily it was just
cold enough to see her breath in front of her, like an odorless tobacco smoke.
It just didn't calm the nerves, calm her shaking hands.
I feel so nice just when you're here
The reason why is not so clear
I knew the first time when you told me
I'd fall in love just as you'd hold me
The shadow didn't turn around. But she could tell it was him by the way
his shoulders slumped when she called his name. The way his head sort of
dropped when he heard her voice.
"Luka?" she climbed the stairs, stopping briefly. She'd chased him up those
steps when they broke up. They'd stood right there, where his shadow touched
the steps, and where her feet were frozen."What's going on, Luka?" Abby sat
down beside him, hands in her lap.
"How's Eric? That was him down there, right?" he asked quietly.
Abby pursed her lips."Fine. He's doing fine."
Luka nodded."Good. You were really upset about him."
"He's doing better. What's wrong with you? I mean" she took a deep breath,
watching his face fall."I didn't mean for it to come out like that, Luka". Abby
reached out slowly, touching his knee."You-"
"You were the one person I thought I could depend on" he muttered, slipping
out of his jacket and putting it around Abby's shoulders."I..I need a break.
I need to leave all this, and pretend for just alittle while that everything
really is alright".
Abby sighed softly, rubbing her arms, tucking the jacket around her tightly.
"That's why you left?"
He nodded."The girl....Harkins, all of that, came at me all at once."
She looked at him, studied the way his jaw was tensed, the fists at his
sides. The way he hung his head sadly, the lines around his eyes."I'm
Luka turned around, moving her hand from his knee, taking it in his hand.
"No, this has nothing to do with you".
And now I want to stay at your side tonight
I want to watch you as the sun lights up your eyes
I want to know when you wake first thing you see is me
You're all the things I prayed that I'd meet
"I'm sorry I wasn't the one person who you could depend on" Abby answered,
slipping out of his jacket."You deserve that much".
He shook his head, buttoning the jacket down Abby's chest. Luka stood up,
kissed the top of her head.
Luka softly smiled."I have..to get home."
She nodded, standing up next to him. There it was again. Abby reached his
chest. Her face looked up at him, her eyes sad. She slowly reached out for him,
hugging him gently.
He tightened her hug."It's okay..right?"
"Go home, Luka" Abby answered."Go home." she brushed his cheek with her
hand."I'll take care of everything here for you". She stood by the bench
at the El station, his jacket like a long dress hanging off her frame,
watching his shadow disappear into the dark night.
So now I concentrate on turning wrong to right
I'm going to let go things I held inside so tight
I'm going to live and let forgive things said in spite
Clear out the smoke and usher in the light