Oh God, minna-san. I know this may not mean anything to some of you, but the loss of the space shuttle Columbia was a big emotional blow for me. When I was seven I claimed I would be an astronaut someday. I'd live in Florida, and go on shuttle missions. I no longer wish to do that as I have discovered a preference for literacy rather than science, but I still have a deep love for space. It's a huge reason I ever considered watching Gundam Wing.

I heard about the tragedy this afternoon at Tim Hortens. An older woman informed me and my mother about it. I didn't believe her. I thought she was losing it, that she must have gotten it confused with Challenger's anniversary. I want to apologize to that woman. It just seemed so impossible at the time that another shuttle could be lost.

I don't want anyone to flame this fic, or to praise it in any way. I don't care if the writing is crap or if the story line sucks or if you review at all. I just want you to spend a moment reflecting on what has happened. I've spent three hours watching CNN and this fic is born out of my own mourning over this event. I needed a place to vent, and I chose to do it through a story.

My prayers are with the families of the seven astronauts, and I wish NASA the best of luck with their investigation. And like US President Bush said, Columbia may not becoming home to Earth, but let's hope that the astronauts are 'home'.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any business mentioned above.

Warnings: Shounen ai, death, Heero POV

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"When are you coming home?" I gazed at the screen of the vid-phone with anxious eyes. On the other end, my lover smiled.

"Does Hee-chan miss me?" The braided teenager chuckled. "There's a shuttle leaving for Earth in a week. I promise I'll be onboard, Hee-chan."

I felt myself nodding slowly and I reached out to lay a hand on the video screen. "I- I really miss you, koi."

A delighted smile crossed Duo's face, his violet eyes shining with love for me. "I miss you too Hee-chan, but this can't be helped." The American pressed his index and middle fingers against his lips, then pressed them against the video screen in symbol of a kiss. "Ai shiteru."

"Ai shiteru." I murmured as the call ended.

That was the last time I heard from Duo. Now I sit here, in the Preventer's office with all our colleagues. The talk washes over me. I can't feel anything. My whole body is numb, my breath is caught in my throat.

Gone.

My koi is gone.

Forever.

Someone rests a hand on my shoulder, saying quiet words. Glancing up I realize it's Quatre, but I don't pay any attention. I can't. Duo was supposed to be home now. He survived the war; he survived countless space flights. Why now? Kami, why now?

A group of my coworkers are gathered around a television. Eyes are downcast as they listen to the report. The civilian shuttle arriving from the L2 area was lost in Earth's atmosphere early this morning. Sally and Wufei were called into work to investigate, and it was Wufei who called to tell me. My friends all knew Duo was on that flight. I had been waiting all week for this day. All week . . .

We had grown cocky, human beings. We took our ability to be in space for granted; considered it a right. It had taken a war to make us realize that wasn't true. Humans are greedy in a sense. We only think of ourselves, then something tragic happens and all of a sudden we're a caring people.

Tears are swelling up in my eyes. I've kept them back all day because Duo always stated that boys don't cry. Gomen ne, Duo. Boys do cry. I know it makes me appear weak, but I can't stop the tears. Death isn't suppose to die. You aren't supposed to die! I know you always said I was the superhuman one, but damn it Duo, so were you! Shinigami, God of Death, can't die!

My shoulders are shaking violently and my tears dampen my cheeks. I bury my head in my hands and sink deeper into my chair.

"The shuttle is completely destroyed, there are no survivors . . ."

Shinigami can't die . . .

"Government crews are looking into the cause of the accident . . ."

I'll never forget you koi.

"It may take weeks to determine why this happened . . ."

I love you.

"Our thoughts and prayers rest with the victims' loved ones . . ."

In memory of the shuttle Columbia loss, February 1st 2003