Fine.I mean it's not like breathing - you know something instinctive .something you don't need to think you just do because without it you can't live.

bad analogy. Because I can't live without not leaving her at the I didn't have to think about succumbing to that Za'Tarc test. there was no question - it's 's in danger: I can save her.

Yeah. But not be with her. As in with her. Obviously we're together everyday, at work. Side by side - sharing danger, sharing space, sharing time.

It's enough.

Alright it was see her smile, laugh, frown. To watch her concentrate on her work, see the absorption in the latest for her to figure it out... to save us. to get us out of there. Listen to her.

But now.

I never knew I know now.

I'm mean old and crotchety and military and non-scientific and aggressive and sarcastic.

and well, why would 'd beautiful and clever and kind.

but she does.

And now she knows and I know..that we care.

I .than doesn't even begin.

I Iove her, but not enough to say enough fight for enough to be with her.

Oh yeah. Our careers - well hers - they're important, and I wouldn't want to harm that. But I could .

But I won't because I'm selfish.

I don't want to miss being off-world with her.I want to be there to protect her. I'd go out of my mind when she was away. I'd 'what if' myself into oblivion.

And I can't face yeah - here's the bottom line.

She that's not 'I Iove you'.that's not 'I can't live without you'.that's not 'I can't sleep or wake without your face before me'.It's not 'you're what keeps me going'.it's not enough.I can't ask for more because I couldn't deal with it not being those things.

So why am I here on her porch, in the dark, at 2am, about to knock. Hand frozen in space Waiting.

Because I need to see .lay it on the line.

And here she is.

And I can't speak. neither can she. we just stand and silence.

Those blue eyes are brimming.I can't help myself, I brush away a tear.

Her hand grabs all I can feel is her.

Her .

Her love.

And then we're cupping each other's faces..

I Love you.

And she does

And so do I

And I can't describe the feeling.

It's like a metal band constricting my chest.I'm drowning in her eyes.

My world has stopped and shifted its 're twin suns bound together.

No force on this planet or any other is going to tear us apart.