By: Enkidu

Oh, I've been dying to write this story for quite some time, now. Basically, Malik gets into minor trouble with Shadi, and he gets turned into a cat until someone admits they love him. (aw) so plz read!!! I'm still bored and writing fics.I'm working on the next chapter for "Spirals" and "Get Free". 3 ppl posted reviews within a small time frame of posting chapter 2 of "Get Free".I'm rather proud of that. Anywho, on with the fic!!!!!

Oh, small note: Thanks to YamiEmmy for allowing me to preview her story about Malik going on Meds. I loved it, and I'm just doing some mindless advertising, here. So, plz go read her story. I thought it was funny as hell!! And leave her reviews!!

Warnings: Mild language, some weirdness, OOC, creepy stuff, and yaoi.

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Chapter 1: I've Seen Better Days

Malik let out a strangled gasp as he felt himself come crashing to the floor hard. He moaned in pain before struggling to his feet and rubbing his lower back.

"Stupid tree," he muttered, glaring at the tree he just fell from.

The normally psychotic Egyptian was apparently staked out in front of a car lot watching the cars through his binoculars while being perched on a tree, when a pigeon took a crap on his head. He squirmed and shrieked in a feminine manner right before falling off the tree. He hated every second of this stupid task, and he fumed angrily as he bit his lower lip.

" 'Oh, it should be easy for a thief like you'," Malik muttered, mimicking Shadi's tone.

This whole mess started that morning when Malik was walking through Blockbuster to rent his favorite movie, 'Bachelor Party' (A/N: I love that movie!). While looking through the aisles for the movie, he "accidentally" ended up in the porno section. That is when Shadi popped out and caught Malik holding an embarrassing copy of 'Mr. Jak Oph' (A/N: 't ask). The Egyptian boy shrieked and threw the video in some random lady's purse, getting her in trouble with mall security.

But that has nothing to do with anything. So, Malik got on his motorcycle and began to drive off when he hit a speed bump. Except, it wasn't a speed bump. It turned out to be Shadi's cat, Luke Skywalker. Needless to say, Shadi came out in the wrong moment and caught Malik scraping the remains of Luke Skywalker off the street and depositing it in a trash receptacle. Shadi was very pissed.

He would have killed Malik or done something of equal horribleness, but Shadi happened to have a minor crush on the younger boy. So, Shadi offered to let Malik sleep with him in exchange for his life. Malik promptly said 'no', and this pissed Shadi off some more. So, Shadi decided that Malik would get to walk away unharmed if he stole a brand new 2002 E-Class Mercedes-Benz without the use of his Millenium Rod. Hey, all the playaz got'em! But, if Malik should fail, the boy would be punished. So, Malik agreed, fearing Shadi would probably want to rape him, or, even worse, take him to Sears. That's how Malik ended up in his current situation.

Malik looked once again through the binoculars and observed the many salesmen walk around in their overly expensive suits. The Egyptian boy then dove behind some bushes and change into his disguise. He got all 'thugged out', complete with pants three times his size, some 'bling bling', a hooded sweat shirt, a white tanktop and a backwards cap (A/N: I have no clue what thugs I'm just trying think of what my brother dresses like.). He then put on some dark sunglasses and tucked his hair into the cap to make him look less peculiar.

The Egyptian boy, now turned thug, limped into the car lot and paused in front of the car he wanted. He only looked at it for a few seconds before a lecherous car salesman attacked.

"Hello. My name is Carl. How may I help you today, sir?" Carl asked, obviously looking a bit nervous as he probably thought Malik would call his posse to beat the crap out of him any second.

"Good Morning, good sir. My name .Young Clean Bastard (A/N: as opposed to Old Dirty Bastard). Or YCB for short. How are you doing, today?" Malik asked, not bothering to remember he was supposed to talk in ebonics, therefore it seemed pretty weird that he'd have such perfect speech.

Carl looked at him funny for a second.

"Anyways, I am here to look at this vehicle. You see, all the people on my block have them, so I must get one, too, because I don't know any better," Malik explained.

"That's very well, uh, YBC. Would you like to test drive it?" the salesman asked.

"Yes, I would like that very much."

Carl magically produced keys from his pocket and handed it to the supposed young thug.

"Look! It's a naked woman!" Malik yelled. Carl just stared blankly at him. Malik sighed heavily and shuck his head. "Of course," he muttered. "Look! It's a naked man!" THIS got Carl's attention. The man whipped his head around, and Malik ran off with the keys. He made it all the way to the fence when the same pigeon took a crap on his head, and Malik resumed shrieking like a girl.

Security came from every which direction, attracting the attention of the producers of the show, C.O.P.S. Malik was beaten down with clubs and forced into the back of a cop car. This lead to Malik ending up in jail, and having him stripped of his 'gear'. The Egyptian sighed as he banged his head against the bars while trying to keep himself away from the pawing hands of a 6-foot fat guy named Bubba.

"Things just can't get much worse than this," Malik muttered pathetically.

"YCB, your father is here to pick you up," one of the officers stated.

"Wait, that can't be. My father is dead," Malik wondered out loud.

All of the sudden, Shadi walked in through the door, followed by two cops.

"Hello, son," Shadi said rather awkwardly.

"Aw crap!" Malik cursed the fates.

"Mr. YCB, you are free to go, on the charges of petty theft," the cop on the left stated in a robotic voice, signifying Shadi probably used the rod on him (A/N: Shadi was holding Malik's Millenium rod for him to make sure he wouldn't use it).

"But I don't want to go. Me and Bubba were just starting to become friends!" Malik whined. Bubba emphasized the statement by putting a hand on Malik's shoulder. "I told you not to do that, or I'll chop your nuts off!" Malik sneered at the fat man. Bubba immediately removed his hand and winked at the young Egyptian, causing him to back away.

"But, you can't do this to me!!! For the love of the gods!!! I don't want to go to Sears!" Malik yelled.

The two cops unlocked the cell and began to drag the tanned boy out. "I don't want to go to Sears!!!!" Malik continued to yell until he was finally dragged out of the police station.

When he was finally outside, Malik glared at Shadi.

"You have failed, Malik of the Ishtar family," Shadi stated the obvious. "You must now be punished."

"I don't want to go to Sears!" Malik begged.

"Shut up! You're not going to Sears!" Malik breathed a sigh of relief. "Instead, I shall put a curse on you." Shadi took out a bag of sparkly glitter and sprinkled some in very fairy-like fashion on top of Malik.

"That's it?" Malik asked in confusion.

"No, you imbecile! You have to give it some time. It's a new slow-acting formula," Shadi explained.

"What does it do?"

"You'll see. Oh, here's your Millenium Rod," Shadi handed the boy the rod, "but, I doubt you'll be able to use it for a while." Then Shadi disappeared from sight while cackling evilly.

"What a freak!" Malik said before a pigeon flew over his head causing the boy to go into a screaming fit.