Disclaimer: Sirius, Peter, Remus, James and anyone else from the HP series who shows up in this fic don't belong to me. I am just borrowing them.

Warning: This is heavily loaded with slash. Sirius/Peter, Sirius/Remus. Sirius/Other. Nothing actually happens, it's all implied and talked about.

Dedication: For all of you who braved the first part. :-) I actually didn't think this would get as many reviews as it did. People are generally scared away by any Peter slash...

Author's note: I'm mildly afraid. Someone referred to the first part of this story as a little bit of fluff. Fluff? I hardly find the themes of coldhearted seduction, manipulation, emotional abuse, and taking one's friend's virginity only to prove a boast fluffy. Nor do I find it amusing, as said person did. I sometimes wonder if people actually *read* things, or simply go strait to the smut and read that. Anyway, I'm done with my ranting...

Ah well. Here we had a whole lot more of emotional torment. Remus isn't happy, James isn't happy, Peter is confused and Sirius is guilty. See! See! He has a conscience! He really does. I've noticed when I get very upset, I take my feelings out on characters I *like* the most. I put them through hell. I'm not sure why I do that.

The very first part is in omniscient third person. This story changes perspective *a lot*. You have been warned...Oh, and see if you can find the foreshadowing. ;-)

Breakfast the next morning was an awkward affair indeed. James was not happy at being proven wrong, Remus was not happy that Sirius had slept with Peter, and Sirius was feeling the affects of what he had done. The tension and cold stares left Peter feeling confused. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Or why Remus and James were glaring at him like that. Or why Sirius was avoiding him...

"I've got Quidditch practice today." James said suddenly, pushing back from the table. He didn't look at Sirius. He hadn't thought the other boy would actually go through with it, and was feeling the sting of being wrong.

"I have to study." Remus snapped. He had *thought* he and Sirius had come to some sort of an understanding. But he had obviously been wrong. He was well aware of what had gone on last night. His bed was next to Peter's, and he an amazing sense of smell and hearing. It had *not* been a pleasant night.

"I...um...I have to go." Sirius mumbled. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had made a big mess of things. Remus was angry at him, and that was understandable. James was angry too, and Sirius understood that. He wasn't happy about it, but he understood it. And Peter...well, Sirius couldn't bring himself to even look at the younger Gryffindor.

Peter didn't know what to say. He suddenly found himself alone at the table, staring about him in confusion. He knew there was something wrong, and even though he wasn't the brightest of bulbs, he was pretty certain it had something to do with what had happened between him and Sirius the night before. He'd have to talk to him about it...

"Remus, can I talk to you?" Sirius' tone was pleading, but the werewolf would have none of it.

"I'm busy." The sandy haired Gryffindor said, burying his nose in his book. He didn't want to hear any of Sirius' excuses. He had heard them all before, and he was sick of it.

"We really need to talk..."

"There's nothing to talk about." Remus said simply. "It was my mistake for thinking you'd changed."

"Remmie..."

"You don't need to make up some sort of stupid excuse to try and make me feel better. This isn't the first time this has happened, and it won't be the last." Remus re-read the same sentence for the fifth time. Why wouldn't Sirius just leave him alone? He didn't want to be near the black haired Gryffindor. He wanted to lose himself in his book and forget what he had heard last night.

"I'm not going to." Sirius said, plucking the book out of Remus' hands. "I'm going to explain what last night was about."

"I am well aware of what last night was about." Remus snapped, rather coldly. "I was in the next bed, Sirius."

"It...it wasn't like that." Sirius said, and Remus cocked his head. Sirius sounded genuinely upset about it. Not like the countless times before. There was regret and guilt in his voice and his stance, even in his scent.

"Then what was it?" Remus asked, folding his hands in his lap. Sirius ran his hand through his hair, raking it out of his eyes. He took a deep breath, kneeling on the floor of the common room before Remus' chair.

"James...James and I made a sort of bet." Sirius began, and Remus gritted his teeth. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like what he heard.

"A bet?" He repeated, voice emotionless.

"Yeah. I was bragging. That I could get anyone in bed. He said I couldn't. I told him I'd prove it..."

"So you seduced Peter." Remus finished, coldly. "You used him to assuage your ego."

"Look, it wasn't like that!" Sirius snapped. "It was...I just...I didn't seduce him."

"Oh? What was it then? Rape?" Remus couldn't believe it. He had known that Sirius often didn't stop to think about other people's feelings, but this? What had happened with Snape in the Shrieking Shack had been bad enough. But it had been Snape, and no one had gotten hurt.

"No!" Sirius' eyes flashed. "It wasn't like that *at all*."

"Mmm." Remus' lips were compressed into a thin line, and his amber eyes were cold and distant.

"You think I'm lying?" Sirius asked, incredulously.

"I don't know what to think, Sirius." Remus said through clenched teeth. "You screw around on me, you use people, and you'll say anything to save your own arse."

"Damn it, Remus...you're blowing this way out of proportion!"

"Am I?" Remus rose swiftly, his sudden movement causing Sirius to fall backwards. "I don't think so."

"Yes, you are. You're changing the subject, you're twisting my words...you always get like this around that time of the month. I should've known talking to you would be pointless!" The taller boy stood, fists clenched. Remus felt his anger rising up inside of him.

"Of course." He said coldly. "Blame it on my cycle. That's always your excuse when I get angry with you. It's never your fault, even when you're in the wrong. I'm sick of this Sirius." He lifted his chin, shoulders thrust back. His stance was rigid, and he could feel himself trembling. He was angry and betrayed and couldn't even begin to put his complex emotions into words.

"Remmie, please..." Sirius reached out his hand, and Remus drew back, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Don't touch me." He hissed. Sirius' eyes clouded and he blinked, hand falling away limply. "I won't stand for this anymore. I am tired of being your fallback plan."

"You know you're not..."

"Oh, really?" Remus arched an eyebrow and laughed bitterly. "You could have fooled me." He wanted to cry. He had loved Sirius for nearly a year, but it had always been the same. Sirius did as he pleased. He would cuddle Remus and hold his hand by day, carrying his books between classes. But at night he would hop from bed to bed, changing lovers as often as he changed his clothes.

"You're doing it again." Sirius said, tone grumpy. He crossed his arms, glowering out from under lowered lids. He was pouting, long soot colored lashes obscuring his dark brown eyes, full lower lip jutting out just slightly. If he couldn't get his way by yelling and screaming, he'd pout.

"Giving me puppy dog eyes and making your lower lip quiver like a wounded kitten isn't going to work with me this time, Sirius." Remus resolved himself to be strong. He crossed his own arms, still tense and rigid. He knew he was looking down his nose at Sirius, but he didn't care. He had allowed himself to be walked upon too long. If Sirius wanted to stay with hi, there would have to be changes.

"And you being a cold hearted bastard isn't going to do anything to me, either." Sirius snapped, still sullen.

"Fine." Remus shrugged. He would act aloof, and distant. *He* was in control here. "But I meant what I said. I'm sick of this. I'm not going to stand for it anymore."

"What...what do you mean?" A tremor in his voice. So, Remus was getting to him after all.

"I'm not one of your devoted fans, Sirius." Remus' tone smoothed out, slick and in command. "I don't fall so easily for pretty words and a flashy smile. I don't want sweet nothings and wild nights. I want *you*. But that's not something you're willing to give, and I'm not going to take anything less."

"But...you just said..." Sirius was confused, and it sounded as though he was afraid.

"Exactly Sirius." Remus said, his lips curling in a small devious grin. "It's all or nothing. If you're not going to give me all, then nothing it is."

"Remmie..." Plaintive panic, confusion. Sirius' eyes were no longer hooded in a seductive pout. They were wild and panicked, wide open and imploring Remus.

"No. We're through Sirius." There. He had said it. There was no taking it back.

"Wha...? Remmie..." Sirius stepped back as though he had been struck. Remus had a moments weakness where he wanted to take it all back, fling his arms around Sirius and apologize, kiss his face and forget anything had happened. But it passed, and Remus clenched his teeth, wrapping an iron fist around his resolve.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, but this is the way it is. You've left me no choice."

"Don't...no." Sirius shook his head, a bit of the angry fire back in his voice. "This isn't my fault."

"Of course not." Spoken airily, flick of a wrist for emphasis. "It never is." He didn't want to be in the same room with Sirius anymore. "I have studying to do. If you'll excuse me..."

"No! This isn't over..." Sirius reached out, and Remus took a step back. The werewolf didn't know how far it would have progressed, but the portrait hole swung open and James stepped into the common room. He froze, seeing the looks on both Sirius and Remus' faces, and sensing the tension in the air. Sirius took a step away from Remus, running a hand through his hair.

"James...we have to talk."

"Look, you proved yourself. No need to rub it in my face." James snapped, shrugging out of his Quidditch robes.

"I'm not here to rub it in your face." Sirius said. He was still heated from his argument with Remus. He still hadn't wrapped his mind around that. Remus couldn't have meant that, he couldn't have. Sirius really did love the werewolf. And once school was over, he was quite willing to settle down. He had even cut down on his flings, to pacify Remus. But apparently it wasn't enough.

"Then what do you want?" James asked, titling his head and glaring at Sirius.

"I think...I shouldn't have done it." That was what was really bothering Sirius. If it hadn't been for that, the fight with Remus probably would have gone much differently.

"Why not?" James asked. He shook his head, trying to get his hair out of his face.

"I just...I think I really messed with Peter's head." Sirius admitted. /That's an understatement./ He hadn't expected it to go like that. There had been such trust and adoration in Peter's eyes...

"Really? He seemed fine at breakfast..." James shrugged.

"Fine?" Sirius was appalled. "Did you *look* at him? He hardly ate..."

"Sorry." James made a dismissive gesture. "I wasn't paying that much attention."

"I was." Sirius said gravely. He felt awful. He knew in his soul he had done something very wrong, but he wasn't sure exactly what. "And...you don't know how he was last night. You weren't there. You didn't see him..."

"No, I didn't, thankfully." James rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious!" The taller Gryffindor sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. "He was...it wasn't like it usually is."

"What do you mean?" The slim Quidditch player sat on the edge of his bed.

"It just..." Sirius didn't know how to put it into words. Peter hadn't been like his other lovers. Except for Remmie. There had been that same sort of tenderness, but mixed with an unquestioning trust that had frightened Sirius. Peter had never once made a protest. And he had been a virgin, and *very* inexperienced. Sirius couldn't shake the wide clear innocence that had infused Peter's eyes. "I can't explain it."

"I think you're over reacting." James said, rationally. "You feel bad because you got into a fight with Remus. I'm going to assume you were fighting about you sleeping with Peter?" Sirius nodded, and James continued. "Now you're trying to make yourself feel better, or something. Or to put the blame anywhere else."

"Maybe..." But Sirius wasn't convinced. Because these feelings of guilt had began as soon as the love making was over. He couldn't even stay with Peter the night. It would have been...wrong, somehow. He felt like he had used his friend, and as though he had taken something beautiful and spoiled it. He couldn't understand why. And he wanted to apologize, but he couldn't. Not without telling Peter what had really happened, and he could never do that. It would break the boy...

"Remus is pissed you were with Peter, right?"

Peter paused outside the door of the boys dorm. It was partially open, and he could hear raised voices within. The common room had been empty, and he had assumed the dorm would be as well. Remus was in the library looking rather upset, James had practice, and Sirius...well, Peter didn't know where the other marauder was. But it seemed James and Sirius were in the dorm.

"Of course he's pissed." That was Sirius, and he sounded exasperated. Peter swallowed hard, pressing himself against the wall to hear what they were saying. He knew eavesdropping was wrong, but if Remus was mad, that meant he was mad at Sirius. And Peter didn't want Sirius to get hurt because of him.

"Well, did you tell him why you did it?" James asked. Peter scrunched up his face in confusion. Wouldn't that make it worse? Remus probably wouldn't want to hear that Sirius cared about him.

"That didn't help." Well, of course it didn't, Peter thought. He chewed at his bottom lip, books hugged close to his chest. "He thinks less of me now. Acted disgusted with me."

"Why?

Peter wanted to know the same thing. He knew he was no prize, but to be disgusted...well, maybe he could understand it. It probably would have been different, had Sirius slept with someone like James, or Lucius Malfoy.

"Why do you think? I screwed my best friend just to prove a boast."

Peter's heart stopped dead in his chest before leaping up to lodge in his throat. He felt as though he had been punched very hard in the stomach. He couldn't have heard right. Sirius couldn't have just said that...

"Well, I mean..." That was James. Peter pressed himself further against the wall, to keep himself upright. His legs weren't working right anymore, and they threatened to give out underneath him. "You told him it didn't mean anything, right?"

/It did mean something!/ Peter screamed in his mind. He could feel teas or shame, hot and wet, trailing down his cheeks. He didn't sob, he could hardly breathe. He felt cheap, dirty, used.

"Of course I told him it didn't mean anything to me."

Again, that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was like a ball of lead, weighty and hard. There was one in his throat too, and around his heart. His mind was numb, cold.

"And it didn't, right?" Suspicion in James' voice. A flare of hope blossomed in Peter's heart. /Of course Sirius would say that.../

"It didn't. It meant nothing to me. Well, it meant *something*, but nothing good. And not like that."

/No.../ Peter's knees were like water. He sucked in a quiet breath, body trembling. /No!/

"Well, there's nothing to do about it now. You and Remmie will make up. It's getting close to that time of the month."

"This is your fault you know. If you hadn't dared me to do it..."

"Don't try and blame this on me. You told me name anyone, and I did. It's not my fault you seduced Peter, I just suggested it."

Peter couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Why had they done this to him? Did they really hate him so much, that they would do such a horrible thing to him? Didn't they know how much he loved Sirius? Why hadn't Sirius told him what it was? Peter would have been happy to comply...but he had used trickery. He had lied, and made Peter think things that weren't true. Why?

"Look, let's just forget it." Sirius. There was silence for a little while, and Peter took the time to collect himself. He gathered his strength and courage around him, what little he had, and found his legs again. He had stopped crying. He took his books tightly in his arms, squeezing them to his chest, and backed away a bit. He planned out in his mind everything he would say to them, a great grand confrontation. He would tell James Potter and Sirius Black *exactly* what he thought of them. He set his jaw, and pushed into the room.

"Peter." James leapt away from Sirius, not able to keep a guilty expression off of his face. /Wonderful, make him suspicious./ He ran a hand through his messy black hair, swallowing hard. He couldn't believe Sirius had tried to blame everything on him. *He* hadn't known Sirius would actually go and do it. That was the whole point. That was how he was going to prove Sirius wrong.

/It's his fault for actually doing it./ There was no argument. Sirius never wanted to take responsibility for his actions. He tried to push the blame on to everyone else. That was how it had always been, and probably always would be. Sirius never wanted to be the one responsible.

"Peter." Sirius echoed, looking as though he wanted to faint. His face was drawn, and there was a flash of fear in his eyes. James had a sudden sense of panic. What if Peter had heard them? What if he knew? Would he be pissed...? James licked his lips nervously, as Peter opened his mouth to speak.

"Hey guys." All of Peter's resolve failed him. He couldn't say anything. He could feel the tears behind his eyes, hot and stinging. But he wouldn't let them fall, not in front of *them.* He could be just as strong and brave. He could tell by their expressions it would do no good to say anything. They'd deny it, make something up to make him feel better. They'd lie to him.

"Hey Peter..." Nervous. They were both nervous. Somehow, that made Peter feel better. /They don't know if I heard them or not. Well, *I'm* not going to tell them./ He would let them wonder. He would never tell them, he couldn't bring himself to. He knew he'd cry, if he did. And he made a vow, then and there, never to cry in front of either of them.

"I just needed to drop of my books." He smiled, hoping it was genuine. Or at least *looked* genuine. He could feel it faltering, a little. Wavering. Like his heart.

"Oh." Sirius, hands shoved in his pockets. Peter turned to him, heart fluttering in his chest like a caged bird.

"Remus looks pretty mad. You might want to go talk to him." Voice calm. Peter was amazed at how calm he sounded. How was he doing this? A part of him was detached, watching him in awe and horror.

"Uh...yeah. We got into a fight."

"I thought so." Peter nodded. "He never stays mad long." Bright smile, silly innocent, clueless Peter.

"No..." The utter confusion on Sirius' face was priceless. Never had Peter been the cause of such a look of distress. They didn't know! He was able to fool them...

"I ought to finish my Charms essay." Still smiling. It was the smile that disturbed them the most, Peter thought. /Just...pretend it didn't happen. Let them wonder. Let them be confused. Let the fell what it's like to be me for a change./ Peter was almost always left confused by the others. Now he was the causing confusion. It gave him a small thrill.

"Yeah..." James nodded, licking his lips.

"Hey, Peter...?" Sirius' eyes were dark and looked genuinely concerned. /He's a very good actor./ That had been proven the night before.

"Yes?" He brushed his hair out of his face, smile still plastered on his face.

"Are you...okay?"

"Fine." /As if *you* care./ But Peter found it hard to be angry with Sirius. A part of him still loved him. But most of him recoiled at the bitter betrayal. Sirius may as well have taken a blade to his back. He gathered up the books he needed. "I'm going to finish outside. It's a nice day." He didn't give them any chance to reply. He hurried out, biting at his lower lip. He wouldn't let them see him cry!

/I'll let them wonder for a while. Then...well, someday I'll get them back. Both of them, since both of them did it. I'll find a way.../ It was a cold comfort, but all he had. And it was better then nothing.

Poor Peter. I don't think there's going to be anymore. Let me know what you thought!