|The Devil's Deal
Author: Atlantia PM
REWRITE BEGUN. Kurt hides behind his inducer, refusing to form relationships outside of the Xmen, afraid of being hurt. Then he meets someone he can't push away. SLASH! Extra! Extra! Author files Chapter 10!Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Nightcrawler/Kurt W. - Chapters: 10 - Words: 45,854 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 02-25-07 - Published: 02-27-03 - id: 1251970
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Nothing, No-one and No-place. Also this deals with SLASH! Which means Male/Male relationship, specifically Kurt/OC, however since it says that in the summary and you clicked anyway then I assume you're aware of that.
Hi. This is my first story on so be nice :)
Now this story takes place during the first season I'm not going to set an exact time as I may want to advance the story through the season as I go. The story will be primarily a Kurt/OC story but will also include Scott/Jean (Because who else would they be with) and Kitty/Lance (for some reason I just love that pair). I know the OC will have put most people off by now so if you're still reading thanks a lot, at least you're giving the first chapter a go.
I'm going back and re-writing all of the 23 or sochapters already written before I continue. I'll be reposting the chapters as I complete them – should be over the next couple of weeks!
Wow you made it through the lengthy foreword, now the story. Hope you enjoy.
Chapter 1 – The Shuffle
Kurt sat slumped in the chair in his bio lesson staring idly out the window. It was a warm day and while everyone else was enjoying it, under his fur he was hot. The image inducer may have given him the ability to look like a human, but underneath he was still the same. In his case, the beauty really was only skin deep. Or hologram deep as the case may be. And that was the problem really - Holograms didn't have depth. As if to confirm it he ran a hand over his cheek, feeling the fur under his palm even though it looked perfectly smooth. He sighed and slumped further. It was all just a charade. It just meant he could sit here day after day, surrounded by normal kids yet never be a part of them. Even though he loved the rest of the X-men and the opportunity Professor Xavier had given him he still sometimes wished he could just disappear and escape from it all. He felt a sudden overwhelming urge to yank the inducer off and hurl it across the room, it was an idle thought, and one that he didn't want to think any more about, but it was still heartfelt.
He enjoyed being able to talk to people normally even if they thought him a bit strange because he wouldn't let them touch him. The inducer afforded him that freedom but it also cursed him to live a lie. This wasn't who he was. He still felt the same fear and self-loathing he'd always felt at home. He still occasionally found himself cringing away from a patch of light even though people would just see a normal kid. He hadn't changed, the inducer was like a drug to an addict, someone who needed it to feel like they belonged, to hide from the real world and not accept the truth. He was a freak. A 'demon' as he'd been told many times. Kitty and Logan both called him elf but elves didn't have fangs, or pointed tails, nor did they have two toes, three fingers, double jointed ankles and climb walls.
The sound of the door abruptly sliding open shook him from his reverie, and he looked up as principle Darkholme entered followed timidly by a new student. The boy was lanky but obviously fit and the clothes clung to him in a way that said he was used to being the center of attention. The boy seemed nervous but Kurt could tell this wasn't how he was used to feeling, so he turned away disinterestedly. No doubt people would soon tell the new guy about the weird kid who didn't like to be touched. This guy was going to be with the 'in' crowd, he practically oozed 'well off member of the football/lacrosse team' vibes. He tugged at his collar in an attempt to let some of the heat out, feeling the tight lycra of his suit under his fingers rather than the normal shirt everyone else wore, so his thoughts were already back on the heat and how to alleviate it when the seat next to him was suddenly filled. He started and jerked upright with his eyes wide in shock as the blonde haired boy turned to him and offered him his hand.
"Hi, I'm Paul Larsen, just moved here." Kurt gave the offered hand a sad glance and watched the new kid, feeling the eyes of the class watching him intently. He briefly considered taking the hand just to throw everyone off, but like his earlier thoughts regarding the inducer he knew he couldn't and so he just nodded instead.
"Kurt Wagner." An awkwardness settled over the two of them for what seemed like hours as the hand was left in the air between them before slowly settling on the other boy's desk. He seemed taken aback but smiled anyway.
"Nice to meet you Kurt." The bell rang just as the boy finished, filling the room with it's shrill noise. "I guess I'll catch you later." Kurt quickly clamped down as he felt a bitter snort escape his mouth before turning a sardonic smile on the boy as he was standing to leave.
"Yeah. Sure." Then as quickly as he could he grabbed his books and scuttled out of the classroom.
As the sun started its slow fall into the horizon, 3.05pm rolled around and found Kurt hiding up in the branches of a tree near the gates waiting for Kitty. They were going to walk home together like usual but when Paul walked by underneath instead, with some of the other kids running to catch up to him, Kurt pressed himself back into the shadows near the trunk and held his breath.
"Hey new guy! Paul wan't it? Wait up a sec!" Kurt saw the blonde head come to a stop beneath the tree in the shade as the group following him caught up.
"Hi." Was the cheerful greeting that drifted up through the branches as the kids approached and Kurt smiled bitterly as he watched a convention of the schools elite convene right underneath him. The apparent leader of the group scratched the back of his neck in what seemed to be thought as he evidently tried to put his thoughts into words.
"Hey. Look, we saw you talking to that Wagner kid earlier. Not to put the kid down or anything but trust me when I say you don't want to associate with his sort." Kurt felt leaves crunch in his hands as he clenched them and looked away from the scene below. He felt tears building in his eyes but with brutal effort he suppressed them. It looked like today was just going to be one of those days. Most days he was fine with himself, and managed to push all of his emotional baggage to the back of his mind. Why'd this have to happen today?
"Why not, he seems nice enough to me." The smooth voice below him brought his attention back to the scene beneath the tree and he once again held his breath and gripped the crunched leaves tightly lest they drop and alert the people below him.
"Well yeah he's 'nice' enough but the kid's clearly a freak. I mean he won't touch anyone or let anyone touch him, he sits all by himself or with those other strange kids from the institute and he never joins in any sports or activities." Paul leaned against the tree in what seemed to be contemplation.
"Institute? What's that?" The other kids looked around as though they expected government agents to leap out and arrest them for what they were about to say.
"It's this weird mansion owned by this rich guy Xavier. He has a whole bunch of students staying with him. Calls it the Xavier institute for gifted youngsters or some such. They're all a little weird." He leant in even closer to the tree as though he were confiding a state secret. "Some of the guys reckon Xavier does things to the kids that stay there, if you know what I mean." He leant away again and suddenly scuffed his foot as though he'd said too much. Kurt's sadness abruptly gave way to anger as the whispered words drifted up to his sensitive hearing and he barely restrained himself right then from dropping down and beating the absolute crap out of all of them. Paul's voice interrupted him though so he grit his teeth instead.
"Are you serious? People know about this and they don't do anything?" The ringleader shrugged.
"Look, like I said it's just what we've heard, but either way, trust me - you don't want to ostracise yourself by hanging out with them. They're all a bit weird and you won't exactly be making many friends if you hang out with them." The group seemed to suddenly realise that they'd maybe spent just a little too long trying to convince the newcomer that he was better off with them and were sounding a little desperate. "Do whatever you want dude, just wanted to let you know the situation hey." With a nod and a lazy half wave the bunch turned on their heel and started for the school gates. Kurt watched as Paul seemed to hesitate for one second before calling softly after them.
"Thanks for the info guys, but I'm used to doing things my way. If I wanna make friends with the school losers I will and if I wanna do other things I'll do them too." A dismissive shoulder wave from the apparent leader was flicked at him.
"Your choice dude. If you wanna be friendless and teamed up with losers that's your choice, don't expect us to hang out with you afterwards though." And with that they were through the gate and gone.
Kurt had a death grip on the tree as he watched the boys walking away, in a state of disbelief. Paul wanted to be his friend. He'd actually rejected the others and said he thought Kurt was nice. He didn't know what to think. It was still possible Paul didn't actually like him but just didn't like the other guys. He rolled his eyes at himself. Of course that was it. But for one brief moment he'd felt better. His happiness was even shorter though when he saw Kitty approaching from the other direction. 'Fantastic, I can't go down with him there, I could ruin any chance of friendship, and I can't port without him hearing.' The lanky teen didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave, his blonde bangs blew idly in the wind as he just stood there looking at the school. Kurt sighed inaudibly. This was just great. Luckily just then a Mercedes pulled up outside the school gates and honked its horn 3 times. Paul apparently saw the car, grabbed his pack and ran to get in. After it had safely driven off Kurt jumped nimbly down to the ground. Kitty didn't even look surprised as she smiled at him and they walked out the gate together.
Dinner that night was a strange affair. Well as strange as dinner can be in a house full of mutants. Kurt ate hardly anything which was almost worthy of the Guinness World Records, and said even less. The table was uncomfortably quiet. The truth was that he didn't want to see himself, even the sight of his mutated 3 fingered hands reaching for the food was enough to ruin his appetite, and when he'd had all he could stomach without being sick he just ported to his room without saying a word. He hadn't been this nervous since he'd found out about the institute in the first place. A normal person had honestly admitted to liking him, with nothing to gain from it and no reason at all. The thought that he could screw everything up had him almost sick with worry.
In his entire life he could count the number of friends he'd ever had on 1 hand, and most of those were the kids at the Institute. Paul already thought he was weird - anything else might drive him off. The worst part of it all was that he didn't even understand why he felt this way. Since the inducer he'd fit in more than he ever had before. He'd spoken to people and had started to make a few friendships – at least until they found out he couldn't be touched – so why did this one guy affect him so much. It was as though something had burrowed into his mind and now wouldn't leave. He suppressed a sob as he stripped off his skintight uniform and headed into his bathroom. His shower was barely long enough to get his fur thoroughly wet, but was enough to distract him from his thoughts. He walked out of the bathroom as he was drying the last of his hair and slipped into his baggy boxers and loose t-shirt. As he pulled back the covers he gave the image inducer a bittersweet look and slid into his bed, huddling under the blanket in a foetal position with only his head visible. He lay perfectly still like that, lost in thought until finally after what seemed like hours he slid into a fitful sleep.
He was dreaming. It was one of those dreams where you know you're dreaming but at the same time don't understand what that means. Like those ones where you're running from something horrible yet can't scream or make a sound – you know it's a dream, but for some reason that doesn't make it any less real. He stood in the middle of the school cafeteria without his image inducer, dressed in his x-man costume. It was like when he'd been in that weird dimension with Forge, kids walked right by him without even noticing, he could see them talking, could feel the chaotic noise that echoed around him, but no sound reached his ears. Even here he was apart from them. Outside their universe.
He could feel a horrible weight pressing on him from the inside, crushing him into himself, clenching his organs, leaving him hollow and empty. He knew what was missing. He needed to be accepted he needed to feel whole. All his life he'd been different, not accepted because of what he looked like. What he was. Now he'd found a group of people who were like him but he still felt empty. He looked around and could see them in his dream, sitting at a table with other kids. Laughing, talking, acting like normal teenagers should. Kitty was laughing loudly at a joke Jean had whispered to her and Scott waved to him but still no sound reached him. Even with this group he was outside. He was in their exclusive club but he was still separate from them. They knew who and what he was, and they accepted him, but they didn't fill the void he could feel. They could still lead perfectly normal lives, with the exception of a pair of sunglasses.
So he stood there amidst the bustle, watching the world from the outside, feeling it flow around him like a rock in a river, surrounded and caressed by the water but still a totally different entity. The dream abruptly seemed to slow down, as though the world was grinding to a halt. Movement slowed and then stopped completely, a stream of milk was frozen, halfway between the carton and the glass. Someone's backpack was stuck in midair having left the hands of one person on it's way to another, yet not having reached it yet, as though it could sit there forever. Then he saw someone else moving toward him. Paul. He was smiling a genuine smile at him and suddenly it seemed like the world made sense.
"Hi Kurt." The dream Paul walked up to him and held out his hand. "I'm Paul, just moved here." Kurt felt his lips curling into a truly happy smile and reached out, but just before he grasped the offered hand he felt dread race through him. He couldn't touch him, if he did the world would collapse. He couldn't explain why but he knew if he shook Paul's hand everything would be ruined, but it was too late. Paul grabbed his hand and suddenly the world rushed back in.
Deafening, cacophonous noise crushed against his ears, normal pace resumed and he was a part of it, not just looking in, he'd passed through the glass. And somehow he knew what that would mean. A scream sounded to his left as someone noticed him. A group of girls shrieked and fled the room. Within seconds pandemonium erupted. Things were hurled at him, plates, utensils, chairs, anything they could lay hands on. Cries of 'Demon' and 'Freak' accompanied the hurtling objects. Pain intruded into his dream as a chair connected solidly with his side and he collapsed to the ground. He looked up at Paul, dreading what he'd see there. A look of confusion was spread across his face, but as he opened his mouth to speak the crowd flowed around him toward Kurt and Paul was lost in the mob. Kurt curled himself into a small ball, shielding his face and wrapping his tail around his waist as he'd learnt to do over the years when with a stomach wrenching lurch that felt like someone had suddenly pushed away from him, he found himself back in his bed, panting and shaking uncontrollably.
He lay like that until the sun breached the horizon, flooding his room with cold morning light.
In another street, in another house, in another bedroom, a blonde haired boy sat up gasping in bed. His dream played round and round again in his mind, a boy standing in the middle of the school cafeteria - Kurt, but not Kurt. People throwing objects at him, demeaning him, but something wasn't right. There had been something wrong with all of it, something he couldn't put his finger on, and the more he thought about it the more the dream slipped through his fingers, until eventually all that stayed with him was his first conscious thought – Kurt… but not Kurt.
End Chapter 1