A/N: Next installment! Whoot! You know, lately I've been
writing out at least the first three chapters before I start
posting multi-part fics, but this idea I pretty much just went
with, so updates depend mostly on blind inspiration, dumb luck,
and my rather sketchy outline. ^_^;; Yes, I'm a baka. I don't
care! *dances down the aisle*
"Unrequited love. It's fantastic! It never has to change, it
never has to grow up; it never has to die." ~ Vince Tyler;
"Queer as Folk" (UK)
I'm a really selfish person.
But that's human nature. People want to be happy, to feel
important and appreciated- or at least that's what Ken tells me.
And I think he's right.
I don't know what to do, though. Hikari's crying in my arms,
which used to be something I fantasized about, but in reality is
scary and not romantic at all. She's not crying prettily
either, like people do in movies with a couple of tragic tears
falling down an impassively despairing face, but in huge,
heaving sobs that make her eyes and nose run. A quick
inspection of my pockets unearths the handkerchief my sister has
made me carry around in my back pocket since I was ten just in
case I ran into . . . well, a situation like this.
Jun's always been weird, but she has some pretty good ideas
Finally, Hikari pulls back, and I give her the hankie. A
moment's work, and her face is dry again, even if her eyes are
still watery and her cheeks are red.
"You okay?" I ask softly.
"What do you think?!" she snaps. She hits me, and then blows
her nose loudly. "I'm fucking pregnant, Daisuke! I'm having a
BABY! A baby!"
"And mood swings too, I see," I mutter, rubbing at my throbbing
"My period is two weeks late," Hikari sniffles, hiding her face
in my chest again. "And my breasts hurt, and I feel like
puking, and I'm really, really tired but I can't sleep 'cause I
get these awful nightmares about what's gonna happen when my
parents find out."
"What's Takeru think?" I ask, resting my chin on top of her
She shudders. "Don't know. Didn't tell him."
". . . you know, he MAY notice eventually," I say carefully.
"Funny thing about Takeru- he's really kinda observant that way.
You know, can't gain thirty pounds or forty in nine months
without him raising an eyebrow."
Hikari laughs weakly, but I can tell that she's started to cry
again (mostly because my shirt's kinda thin and starting to
stick to my chest where her face is).
"Why'd you tell me?" I ask, keeping my voice as calm and quiet
as I can. I'll register all this later and freak out then.
"I- I don't know," she stammers. "I- I just needed to talk, and
I was afraid Miyako would tell somebody and you've always been
around and I'm still too afraid to tell Takeru any of this. His
mom is gonna kill him! She talks to him all the time about this
stuff, and she's always saying if he ever has sex, he HAS to use
condoms and spermicides and the girl should be on the Pill and-"
"Calm down!" I say in exasperation, grabbing her shoulders.
"Come on, let's cut the rest of the morning. I'll buy you a
biscotti or something and we can come back after lunch."
"Sounds like a plan," Hikari replies with a slightly shaky
smile. "But I hate biscotti."
"Really? Me neither," I confess with a grin. "I thought girls
like stuff like that."
"Not me." Hikari shakes her head stubbornly. "You're getting
me okonomiyaki, and ramen, and like, eight different kinds of
candy- and I want Pocky! I have the absolute WORST craving for
I give her a sheepish grin. "I've only got one wallet, Hikari-
"Between the two of us, we'll afford it," she says with a wink.
"Come on, let's go!"
I can't say no to her when she's looking at me like this. So I
follow her as she heads towards the doors at the other end of
the hallway and listen to her gentle laughter when I crack a
I know she's scared, and I know she just needs someone to be
with her for a little bit while she sorts herself out. So I
banish my usual knight-in-dingy-armor fantasy and follow her as
the jester instead.
Sometimes you have to give up your pride for other people's
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Hikari smiles at me over our table and sips her soda daintily.
Okay, so she chugs it, but I'm the narrator here, so give me my
pathetic adolescent fantasies, dammit.
Besides, she looks cute binging. Kinda like Miyako, only less
likely to bite my hand off.
"That's mine!" Hikari protests, snatching the dumplings out from
under my nose.
Scratch that, MORE likely.
She's really pretty crazy, now that I see her one-on-one.
Usually we're in a big group situation, so lately I've been
forgetting how much fun she can be in her own way, when we're
not dragging her around after us on our usual psycho schemes.
I'd forgotten that about her, when it was one of the first
things that made me fall for her.
It used to make me uneasy, to think that I could forget
important things like that. But Ken says that no one ever
really "forgets" anything- everything a person has ever seen and
felt and done is burnt into their brains for the rest of their
lives, even if they can't actually get at it.
Somehow, he always manages to make me feel better.
I just hope that I can do the same thing for Hikari.
"Waiter!" she shouts. "More ramen!"
Without emptying my wallet, preferably.
I give her a slightly dubious look and polish off the rest of my
own ramen before Hikari can get a hold of it and leave poor
little me with an empty wallet AND an empty bowl, which would
But when the ramen comes, she smiles at me again and clicks our
"To getting out of this without my parents killing me," she
"To getting out of this without Takeru kicking my ass when he
finds out you told me first," I counter with a grin. She
laughs. It feels nice.
I really wish I had some fucking clue as to what to do next.
* tbc . . . *
. : sing for your supper : .