Pieces

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Trying hard to fill the emptiness, the piece is gone, Left the puzzle undone...
- Beautiful (Christina Aguilera)

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How did Neji always do this?

No matter how hard he fought, how hard he tried, Neji always managed to get past his defences. To leave him breathless on the ground. And while he believed himself to be growing stronger with each passing day, Neji was always one step ahead of him.

Lee was running in his shadow

Maybe that's why...?

It didn't make sense, anything. How did Neji always manage to do this to him? To touch him the way he did?

He didn't understand.

Gai was his idol, his mentor. He looked up to the man with admiration bordering on obsession, on worship, and still, Gai never left him feeling like this. And Sakura, the most beautiful of all flowers in his eyes. With strength and determination running through her veins, enough so to have captured his attentions, one would think that perhaps she could do the same, but it was only Neji.

It was always Neji.

So how did Neji always manage to do this to him? To touch him. From the inside. To leave burning pain, enough to make him cry. To leave him wanton and aching for more.

Neji. Why?

Lee did not understand.

Somewhere along the line, their rivalry, their intense battles, had twisted into something else. A battle for dominance, the strong over the weak.

And Lee always lost.

So he burned, burned, burned to defeat Neji. Everyday he trained, trained, trained, and everyday he lost.

Why?

What wasn't he doing? He certainly didn't want what Neji did to him. Did he? The searing pain, the rough handling, the humiliation? Sometimes Lee on his back, mostly on his knees, his face held in the dirt.

The aching want, the trembling limbs, sweaty skin and pulsing pleasure.

Lee always came hard and shaky, almost unable to walk, his body used and deliciously abused.

What was there to want?

Neji never... he never stayed.

Lee was always left alone with hardly any regard, to pick the pieces up and bandage it all back together. He usually lay a moment contemplating the sky, or the ceiling, or the tops of the trees. Whatever the current canopy that served as their roof.

Tonight the stars twinkled.

Lee felt his cheeks were wet. How? How did Neji always manage to make him cry?

He curled himself into a ball, his arms wrapped around his middle, and he sobbed as if he would die.

How? How? How? How? How?

How could he, how could Lee, have let himself...

Alone, under the stars, Lee wondered what would happen if he just dissapeared? Would anyone miss him? But that was foolish in itself, Gai and TenTen alone would cry rivers. And his parents, and the friends he had made along the way... Lee did not doubt people would cry for him... But would he?

Would Neji cry, like Lee had always, when Neji was a bit crueler than usual. Would Neji's eyes grow puffy and red from the amount of it? Would his head and his heart ache from the weight of it?

Would he cry, just a little, for Lee?

Lee could only pick himself up and dry his tears, and once more bandage his pieces as best he could. It wouldn't do for someone to find him like this. Weak. Broken.

Crying for something he'd never truly have.

How could Lee have possibly, and with Neji of all people, allowed himself to...

Neji who was cold and cruel. Who was rough and unforgiving. Who despite his anger, despite his rage, never failed to kiss him on his eyes, his cheeks, his neck, his lips. To whisper to Lee how pretty he was, how good he felt around him.

And to never say anything else once the act was over. To not look him in the eye.

How could Lee have given away his heart?

Especially when it wasn't his to give away? It should have belonged to someone else. It couldn't belong to...

Neji.

Lee didn't know what to do.

Maybe if he kept letting Neji do what he did, maybe if he kept letting Neji dominate him in any way he could, would he gain Neji's heart in return.

Or maybe if he continued to fight until -he- was dominating, would he, perhaps, get his heart back.

Either way, he would continue to burn, continue to train, continue to battle Neji with all his strength and all his power. He would work hard, just as he'd always done, until forever was now.

He just hoped that at the end of it, when the stars stopped shining, and the world stopped spinning, for him, and he was one with the wind, would all of his pieces be whole.

AN: This fic was inspired in part by the song "Give Me Back My Heart" by Jann Arden. The lyrics can be found at .com. You can get the lyrics to Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" there as well.