Author: Tandy

Disclaimer: Nope, Smallville doesn't belong to me.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Chloe and Lex team up to get Clark and Lana together.

Chapter 1- The alliance
"Yeah, yeah he's great. I know!" Lana Lang whined during her break at the Talon, to one very comatose Chloe. Who wouldn't be in a comma after hearing the same whine over and over and over again though? "But Clark has so many secrets! How is a relationship supposed to work if it's based on lies?" Lana sighed in her princess-like way and waited for Chloe to reply.

"Everyone is allowed to keep secrets Lana. If you like him as much as you say you do then let him be, maybe one day he'll tell you his big bad secrets," Chloe answered exasperated. How long would Chloe end up being Lana's confidant? 'I hope she doesn't bring up her dead parents and her abandonment issues,' Chloe prayed futilely knowing almost by heart where this particular conversation was going.

"I'm just afraid that he'll leave. Everyone leaves me, just like my parents, Nell, and Whitney---" Lana continued reciting the woes of her life. 'Jeez, doesn't she know how much she's loved. Clark would have moved heaven and earth for her to stay in Smallville if I hadn't offered to let her stay at my house.' Chloe kept smiling and nodding when it seemed appropriate. Soon Lana's break was over and she went happily off to serve coffee.

'Finally,' Chloe inwardly groaned. She felt sluggish, like if she had gone on the Ferris wheel a bit to many times. Chloe was happy that Lana was finally returning some of Clark's feelings, but since then Clark had been in Lana Land most of the time, and Chloe really missed him. Being close friends with both, she had to listen to both of their predicaments and quite frankly she was getting tired of it. 'I just wish they would get on with it, so everything would get back to normal,' Chloe thought.

"What's the matter Chloe? Didn't you enjoy your chat with Lana?" Lex said proceeding to sit across from her, amusement clear on his face. Entering the Talon, he had seen Lana's mouth hard at work and Chloe's agonized face. He knew exactly what Chloe was going through. He had himself suffered the effects of the Kent-Lang affair. After the first one-hour whimpering of Clark about the impossibility of being with Miss fairy princess, Lex had promptly decided to help his romantically inept friend win Lana's affection. Another reason for Lex wanting to help Clark was that he felt obligated to help him. Clark had saved his life in more than one occasion and was the only person who welcomed him to the town without any prejudice. Unfortunately for Lex, Clark was a lot clumsier than he thought. Even with a renowned womanizer backing him up, Clark had blown his chances more than once.

"I'm not in the mood Luthor." Chloe answered her ears still ringing from Lana's narrative.

"I'm sure we can work on that." He said with a devilish smirk.

Chloe fought the urge to blush and failed miserably. 'One nothing' Lex thought. He knew Chloe's weakness: innuendoes. She couldn't work them, flushed scarlet every time. What Lex didn't know was the she blushed because her over-active imagination always made her picture whatever naughty image he painted. At that very moment, Chloe was wondering just what Lex would do to get her in the *mood.*

"How's Dad? I would normally leave that hit till the final round but as I've said before I'm in no mood to judo today." Chloe said after snapping out of her little *fantasy. * Seeing his eyes darken, Chloe thought 'One to one.' Just like Lex knew her weakness, Chloe knew his. After two years of battling him she knew that Daddy tactics always thwarted him.

"I see Miss Lang's verbal onslaught has left you without proper ethic for judoing. I propose a truce till you remember the sequence of the steps."

"How gracious of you."

"I try."

Silence enveloped them as Lex ordered his coffee and Chloe drank hers. An idea suddenly struck Chloe. "Stupid! Stupid! Why didn't you think of this before? You are such a ditz Chloe Sullivan!" She berated herself aloud, drawing startled looks from Lex and other patrons of the Talon.

"You alright? Not hearing little voices in your head are you?" Lex asked.

"No silly. I have an idea; and idea which will benefit us both." Lex mind instantly jumped to an image of a naked Chloe in his bed. "Have you ever wondered why all your efforts to help Clark get Lana have failed?"

"He's always late?"

"No, what you lack is a female perspective. Lana isn't one of your dirty starlets from Metropolis. I believe that if we team up we can finally get them together. So what do you say?"

"What's in it for me?" Lex asked.

"You mean besides being whiny Clark free?"

"I see your point. Alright mastermind, how and when do we start?"

"Yes! You and I will have them dating by the end of the week. We'll be unstoppable!"

TBC?