Did I ever tell you that I hate working? So if you ever come to me with a request to make your bed, I’ll ask you to get out.

I’m sorry, where were we again? It’s just that I hate it when Eriol tries to trick me into doing something stupid because usually I fall for it. I tell you he’s a good con man.

My dad usually doesn’t come home until later so my brother and I always have our lunch sitting in front of the TV.

We can talk to each other or rather he listens to me talk. But today he’s discussing his dilemma. Look at him sitting there acting as if nothing is wrong. I know he’s up to something! But right now I’ll just hear him blabber.

"Tomoyo is so dainty, so sweet, two qualities Meilin lacks but she’s so feisty! Something Tomoyo isn’t."

He loves to listen to himself talk as much as I do. Genes are funny things.

"Pick Tomoyo." I suggest, gulping down my food.

"But why"

"Just do."

"What if she isn’t the right one for me" His worried face disables me from enjoying the 12 minutes of pure joy called ‘Bottle Fairy’. What happened to the smooth criminal I knew?

"Then pick Meilin. Besides, you’ll be married to anyone of them soon."

"But ..."

"Shhh ... stop overbearing me with your love problems. I think Sarara’s going to say something funny." My face inches forward waiting for a wisecrack from the Samurai wannabe.

"Okay, tell me about your lovelife." Damn, I couldn’t hear her.

I glare. "Did you have to open your mouth that exact same moment"

He gives me an innocent look. "You didn’t answer my question."

"What do you think happens in my non existent love life"

"Non-existent? Dad told me you dropped Yukito off at his house, so"

"Oh, don’t even think it."

"Why not"

"Aww ... Nakuru-chan is shy about her boyfriend. C’mon now admit it."

I can feel the blood rushing up to my cheeks. Is it hot in here?

Yes, he has good lips and his eyes ... but ...

He’s a whore for his grand dad. He’s doing something he doesn’t want to do but does it only for his grandfather’s happiness. It’s not like I don’t know about him.

"Are you blushing" He insinuates. Why you little beep! I taught you how to do that.

"I’m your big sister" I pouted. "I won’t be talked to like that. I deserve to be respected. And how dare you talk about me like that, you know ..."

"So there was something"

"Was there? I mean, nothing, I just dropped him off." Stay calm.

"If you had just dropped him off, you wouldn’t be blushing if I talked about him like that. I think you’re in denial."

"No, I’m not"

"Yes, you are"

We argue meaninglessly, we do that everyday at lunch. I don’t have too many friends, too many people to talk to. I don’t know too many people I can trust. Just him, my little brother.

His question makes me ask myself something. Am I in denial? No. He’s just trying to put ideas in my head.

It takes patience to deal with students who aren’t sharp when it comes to certain subjects. You shouldn’t scold students like that because they only become frightened and lose even more confidence in themselves.

Teaching Sakura can be hard at times. She never really pays attention to her sums. I can understand; if you find something boring you don’t want to do it.

Today my tutoring session with my student has come to an end.

"Is she making any improvements" Touya’s figure leans towards the frame of the door. His arms are crossed and he looks slightly ... happy. Whenever he stops by at the lessons, he looks cross.

"Yeah." I gulped. Don’t be mad at her, Touya.

Meilin rushes into the room plopping down on Sakura’s bed. She has a magazine in her hand. Sakura giggles. Touya is perfectly ignorant of Sakura’s giggling and Meilin’s entrance.

"Arigatou." She smiles gratefully, bowing to me. "You really didn’t have to come today, you should have rested."

"It’s okay" I bow back, leaving the room.

"So, what’s up" I try to start a conversation with Touya. My god, is he blushing?

"Eh ... part-time jobs which I’m starting to hold."

"Do you ever think about going to college"

"I don’t know" he shrugs his shoulder, contemplating. "I’m not really enthusiastic about it."

"Why not"

"Just don’t ask. What’s up with you"

"Broken shoulder"

He chuckled. "Anything else"

"Nah."

"So what was the drive with Queen Annoying like"

"Huh? Oh, Nakuru? Fine. I wish I had my driver’s license."

"Anything up with two of you"

"Ah ..." I’m at loss for words. "Aaa ..." Is it hot in here?

"Something happen with the two of you" My rib receives a jab.

"That’s impossible" The both of us are surprised at the volume of my tone. "I mean, that’s as plausible as Michelle Branch and ah ... that DJ from Linkin Park hooking up."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but have you been reading Elle lately" I raise my eyebrows. Since, when is he into teen magazines?

"I can’t help it. Sakura keeps them lying around here and there"

"Is it true"

"Rumors" he shrugs. I don’t like the look on his face. "Something happened, didn’t it"

"Nothing happened, Touya."

"You’re blushing."

My hands clutch my pockets’ fabric. "Nothing happened… It was nothing."

I can’t believe Touya. For cripe’s sake it’s Nakuru. The girl who made the time we were dating miserable! Well, come to think of it, when things weren’t working out between me and Touya, we were miserable.

Well, Nakuru’s pretty, you know, and I know a lot of guys who find her attractive because she has a sassy attitude. I find her attractive too.

To tell you the truth, I’ve never been intimate with a girl, but that doesn’t mean I’m gay. I don’t think I’ve ever found anyone attractive. Of course, there was one Kinomoto Touya but what we had was sort of experimental. I’ve been friends with Touya since we were 7, we know each other like the backs of our hands and we’re comfortable discussing everything with each other… So why shouldn’t I come clean about what happened between me and Nakuru?

I’d hate to think of how Touya’s face will look like once I tell him about what happened. I really want to tell him but I don’t know how.

"Hey Touya, listen, I’ll be honest with you. I did make out with Nakuru last night but it was really weird cause well … you know, I’ve been only kissed by one other girl and well you know how icky that was … ugh, every time I see Mai I remember that day we were sixth grade and eating hot dogs. Yeesh, every time I see Mai with a hotdog I’m reminded of that hot summer day …"

Oh, yeah. I see Touya taking that news very well.

I’d love to take a walk with Touya and tell him about what happened, but to be very honest, I need to figure out what happened myself. I mean, I know it was just a kiss but what do I do the next time I see Nakuru? I know that I certainly can’t walk away and avoid her and what if it ever comes up again between the two of us?

Why did I have to kiss her out of all the girls I know? My life’s all miserable as it is. And don’t tell me that there are people out on the streets who are having it worse than I am because it will stop me from brooding and I need to brood right now.

I love Tomoeda, it is heaven on earth. I love autumn afternoons. I love the way the dusty leaves swirl in the autumn breeze and dance away from one place to another. I’m not with Touya right now, and I don’t want to go home. My grandfather’s going to pick on me about one thing or another. My shoulder feels better and I really hate having to wear a cast, it’s such a pain.

Sometimes, I really hate my grandfather. My life is in his hands and why can’t he be satisfied with the power he has on me and leave me alone?

I want to be the ruler of my own world.

Moving on to the subject of parks, I love the parks in the afternoon. I love the way the couples in love sit together and laugh and share food. Mmm… Food. The cotton candy man is running late, damn it.

I look ahead at the trees. With a shrug, the trees shake off drying leaves. It makes me feel sad because I realize that I have a biology exam on the waste products formed by trees and I haven’t studied anything. Interestingly, Nakuru comes into sight. I wonder what she’s doing here.

It’s a dog’s life.

I want to go talk to her and resolve whatever happened between us so that we may once again happily ignore each other without the threat of feeling uncomfortable. I know that she’s very aware of my looking at her despite the stubborn look on her face which speaks of her adamant refusal to acknowledge my presence.

I’m a man, not a mouse. I will go talk to her. I will go talk to her. I will go talk to her. I will go talk to her.

I’m walking and walking and walking.

Oh darn, I don’t want to be afraid. I’m not if she would receive me pleasantly but the hell with it.

I wave my hand awkwardly at her. I know she’s avoiding me.

"Akizuki-san" I grin at her stupidly.

We both look at each other uncomfortably. She swallows and rubs her right foot against the grass. She abruptly looks away.

"Yes" she manages to reply politely.

"Well, I just wanted to say ‘hi’." Of course you did, a little voice teases in my head.

There’s a certain distance that lies between me and her and I don’t want to cross it. Nakuru moves away, further lengthening that distance.

"Well hi then."

"Well, I’m really curious about what you’re doing. You know I take frequent walks here this time of the day and I can honestly say that I’ve never seen you. Maybe we keep missing each other and …"

"Cut the crap Tsukishiro and cut to the chase" she turns around as the wind the beats around her face, making strands of her hair brush against her face.

"I need to talk about what happened last night …"

"You need to talk about that … kiss. It was just something we did on an impulse, okay? There’s nothing to talk about."

"But we need to. I want to be comfortable around you again and if …"

"There’s nothing to discuss and what do you mean comfortable"

"I don’t want to feel odd every time I see you."

"Why are you getting worked up over this"

"I’m not. I just think that if we don’t resolve things between us then we’ll become more and more uncomfortable around each other and when I mean comfortable, I mean, I mean …"

"That we won’t be able to avoid and tease each other in peace."

I look at her, exhausted and confused. She walks away.

"Akizuki-san" I yell impatiently. "I just want to talk."

She quickens her pace and I chase after her. She’s far slower than I am. I catch up with her and stand in front of her.

"Please, let’s just talk. I’ll get us cotton candy."

She looks up to face me. "The cotton candy man is late."

"I know but … hey look he’s there." I smile enthusiastically and grab her hand and run. I want to be the first in line.

"C’mon"

"Hey, I’m wearing heels you know" But she runs with me anyway.

The cotton candy man looks at us with an odd expression. I get the feeling that everyone is looking at us that way.

Nakuru looks in to her pockets.

"Umm … I don’t have any money."

"Okay, I’ll buy one for each of us."

"I won’t have to pay you back, will I"

"Don’t be ridiculous" I reply smiling.

"You eat like a pig" her eyes sparkle with mischief as she observes me eating my cotton candy with as much gusto as I usually eat things. We’ve been walking together for a while without so much as saying a word to each other. Ah, well. So much for talking.

"How come you never get fat? Are you bulimic"

I think my buying her a cotton candy lessened the tension between us.

"Oh no, no." I reply rather nonchalantly. "I work out, unlike you."

"What" She smacks my shoulder angrily.

"I’ve seen the way you coddle over your nails at gym."

She gives me a defiant ‘hmmph’.

"I actually came here to walk. Mai has better legs than I do and I’m not going to let her get away with it. Oh speaking of Mai, I think she still likes you."

"Really" I’m surprised and partially disgusted.

"I was surprised too. Most girls stopped eyeing you after Touya. Of course, it was a different story for Touya."

"You never stopped eyeing him."

She glares at me.

"Tell me, why did you date other guys when Touya and I were going out? I knew you were chasing him even then."

"Well" she sighed. "I knew deep down Touya wouldn’t leave you and so I thought that there was really no use moping over a guy who didn’t want to date me, so I dated other guys."

"Like Asuka-chan."

"Ugh."

"You were rather mean to him. He told me about his dates with you. You should have been nicer to him."

"He should have never recited that sappy poetry to me while my little brother was behind me."

"He was trying to be romantic …"

"And he failed miserably."

"Well, you really shouldn’t have treated him coldly after that. I know that his reciting poetry to you in front of your little brother was embarrassing but he was trying to impress you."

"Don’t tell me how to treat guys. You should be nicer to Mai. You always screw up your face whenever she comes to talk to you."

"I do not."

"But it’s apparent that whenever she approaches, you cringe inwardly. Look, it was very stupid of Mai to kiss you in front all of the sixth-graders when we were 12 but she was a little school girl and she had a huge crush on you and she didn’t know how to tell you. Bury the hatchet already. She’s a nice girl you know, and she’s probably the last girl you’ll ever have a shot of a straight romance with."

I smile a little, bitterly amused. "How come you never buried the hatchet with me"

"Give it a rest, I’m civil enough to you. Besides, I get a kick out of teasing you."

"But I don’t."

"You should learn to take things a little less seriously."

"When it comes to you, I’ve always taken things a little less seriously. If I didn’t, I’d always be yelling at you. And what was that about Mai being my last chance at a straight romance" I realize that the pitch of my voice has been raised significantly and I regret it instantly.

"I won’t tease you anymore" she looks at me a little blankly. She turns away with a hurt look.

"Wait, I’m sorry." I touch her shoulder. "I really wanted to talk to you. That kiss may not have been very important to you but it was to me. The last girl I was kissed was Mai and her breath was reeking of mustard that time." I take time to pause. "I felt something when I kissed you."

I sigh, looking around.

"I haven’t kissed anyone in a while. I haven’t had a date in the longest time. I’ve only dated one person in my whole life so I guess one kiss is important. I … feel uneasy after what happened. I mean, I kissed you of all people and I mean it’s you … not that I hate you or anything but I kissed someone that I’ve never thought of dating.

"Whether it be guys or girls no one has ever looked at me the same way after my affair with Touya. It’s not like I’m desperate to date anyone but it’d be nice to be asked out."

I sigh, feeling rather stupid. I look at the ground.

"You had a date today."

I look up. "What do you mean"

"Stop being dense."

"I’m not being dense" I reply defensively.

"Technically" she says with a little smile "we’re on a date."

I look at her blankly. The meaning gets through to me and I blush. She smiles at me.

"I felt something special, too. Or maybe it was all that cake I had."

I snicker.

"Let’s just walk and get it over with."

"Can I walk you home after the date"

"Well, duh."

I swing awkwardly from side to side and she advances forward.

I don’t know if talking helped or not, but I feel better now.

"Which route do you want to go to get home"

She smiled with her eyes twinkling. "Whichever one is the longest."

We start walking.

"You know" she says after awhile.

"What"

"You’re not a bad kisser. Considering someone who has just kissed two people in his life—one of them being a guy and the other being a 12 year old girl—oh wait somehow that just sounds dirty and so wrong. Let me put it this way …"

I looked at her with an amused expression.

"Let’s stop here." She stopped at the bridge. She took a moment to twirl around and my, did she look wonderful. I saw her bright sleeves swaying in the red of the sunset and her hair brushing across her face and dancing with the wind. She smiled at me and her brown eyes beamed.

"Isn’t it lovely here" The river’s water under the bridge flowed, taking along with it the autumn leaves to perhaps a better place.

"Hmm …"

"Tsukishiro" she looked at me with a very serious expression. "What do you do for my father"

Oh damn. My expression instantly changes and my heart skips a beat.

"Why do you want to know"

"You work for my father, I want to know."

"It doesn’t really matter."

"Why won’t you tell me? I’d rather just hear it now than find out about it in some gruesome way."

"Gruesome"

"Oh, come on, don’t change the subject."

I swallowed.

"I’ve never told anybody what I do for your father."

"Whatever you do for my father won’t change my perception of you."

"Bull" I snort softly.

She just looks at me quietly.

"I ruined it, didn’t I" She looks at her feet with an apologetic expression. She swallows. "I have this bad habit of putting my foot in my mouth."

"It doesn’t have to be this way. Listen, let’s just get back to whatever we were talking about" I make a quick effort to make things better. "What was it? Books? Oh yeah, my favorite book is ‘Three Men in a boat’, what’s yours"

She looks at me and laughs a little nervously.

"I don’t read much. However, I do like watching paintings."

"Short attention span, Akizuki-chan"

"Have you been reading my report cards"

"Well, you know this one time I remember passing the homeroom teacher’s class when she was reading out the grades in a report card to this parent, I believe, and …"

She softly punched me on the arm. "You nosy little boy. I don’t remember who, but there was someone who had a remark on his or her report card that said: ‘so much potential, so little application."

I laugh. "Have you been reading my report cards"

"You actually get those remarks" She gives me a disbelieving look.

"Seldom. Oh and don’t you hate the ‘bright student but could do better’ remarks"

"Ugh. I’ve had so many of those you know ..."

Nakuru’s mansion looks breathtaking. A part of me is pricked by avarice. And a part of me that appreciates aesthetics is delighted.

"Well …" she said. "I don’t think we’re going to mention this to anyone."

"No, I don’t think so too."

"So, do you want to date me"

"Not really."

"I’m offended."

"No need to be sarcastic. But anyway, I don’t see why we can’t hang out."

"See you then."

"Bye" I wave my hand at her a little.

She smiles at me and turns around to open the door and enter her house.

I smile inwardly. This was nice, we weren’t mean to each other and I believe we resolved the tension between us. Nakuru sure talks a lot, but she’s not annoying. She’s kind of nice, actually. Sure, she has a habit of teasing people but that’s okay. Nakuru may not be vocal about her appreciation of nature or other forms of beauty but she’s a lot more refined than people would give her credit for.

I glance at my watch and realize that I have a Biology homework to finish.

I also realize that I have a job to do tonight.