"Okay, those are the people who passed the SeeD exam, please meet up with Headmaster Cid in his office..." Squall replied.
"A-HEM?" Cid replied afterwards.
"Oh yeah, ." Squall shot Headmaster Cid a dirty look as he walked by.
"EXCELLENT!" Steve shouted. "All that work has finally paid off, huh?"
"I don't know. I think they've got us planned to fail here. I mean, come on! Squall SO has it in for us..." Joss replied.
"That's preposterous!" Chaz replied. "The guy's the commander. Why would he hate three insignificant people like us?"

"Oh, god do I hate those three religious nuts," Squall thought as Cid made his test.
"Um, um, what's my line? You heard it last year, Squall, right?" Cid said.
"Oh, okay. You're SeeDs now. I am your God, your mommy, your master, I OWN YOU," Squall said. "You can commence with the pleasantries." Cid went over to each of them. Eventually, he got to the end of the line. "(Maybe now you'll stop wearing that freaking groove in the hallways, eh?)" he told Steve. "(Where'd you learn how to make that weapon?)," he asked Chaz. When he finally got to Joss, he simply stated, "(Never take shit from anybody. If you do, they're going to walk all over you.)"

The new SeeDs all headed towards the class.
"Have you got your speech set?" Joss asked.
"Of course. Everyone writes theirs as quickly as possible. It's the virtual manner around here," Chaz replied.
"Well, let's go say it. We've got...next to last?"
"Um, yeah. Let's rock."

The SeeDs all lined up to give their words of wisdom to the crowd of students.

"I know I didn't fight for this thing, per se, but I still made SeeD! This rocks! I'd like to let all of you always remember: You too can succeed if you're screwing somebody who holds some stroke in these things!" Jen yelled.
"I didn't...OH, WHO AM I KIDDING! I don't deserve this fucking honor and I probably never will!" Jocelyn stormed out of the room.
"Um, I'd like to reiterate what my now-esteemed colleague Jen said about screwing someone in power for success, but I think I share everyone's feelings on that last person when I say, GEEZ! WHAT'S UP HER BUTT?" Rinoa shouted.
"HA HA! You don't have to have brains anymore to be a SeeD! All you need is to know people! Shows how much you know, Mr. Smarty-Pants Chaz! EAT IT!" Irvine shouted.
"FINALLY! These instructors have decided to give me what should have been my birthright! I did it! Ha! I AM THE GAME!" Seifer declared. Fujin headed up quickly afterwards, shouted "RAGE..." and left.
"This rules! I was able to try and kill people here, then they put me on their ranks, ya know! Only in Balamb, or possibly America, could this happen..." Raijin replied.
"On this, the greatest day of my time in Garden, all I can say is...YO! HOMIES! SUCKS TO BE YOU, HUH? I did it!" Jim yelled out.
"I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the one person who helped me through all of my time at Garden, and that of course is the Lord, ..." Suddenly, the microphone cut off. "What the fuck just happened there?" Joss yelled out.
"Whoops, my, um, gunblade slipped." Squall replied. "Ah, here's some electrical tape..." Squall proceeded to tape up the microphone cord. "Go on, you've said your piece, Shoo!" Squall called up Chaz.
"When I was a little girl growing up in the poorest section of Harlem, I had only one real dream in life, and that of course, was to clone Charles Atlas in order to have sex with him. When I realized I would never have this dream come true, I decided to forgo it and head to the local kindergarten. There, I realized I was...different from all of the other little girls. I quickly started rolling drunks I found in the streets until I had scrimped and saved enough money, took a quick flight up to some Nordic country that I can't even remember right now, changed my gender, got a quick chemical peel, and just drifted from hash bar to hash bar until Cid picked me up to come to Garden. Under this time, I have risen the ranks to this great honor, where I am delighted to say right now...I'M ON DRUGS!" Chaz yelled out, then stepped down. Squall started to make a "You're dead" motion, then quickly went over to Steve.
"Well, I didn't really prepare a speech, because I always assumed I'd never be good enough for SeeD, but since I am..." Steve proceeded to motion to the side of the stage, where Chaz was manning a CD player. Once he got the signal, Chaz turned on a disco remix to "Eyes on Me." Once it started, Steve stripped to his briefs, revealing the words "SOY BOMB" tattooed on his chest and began to wildly, badly dance on stage. "THIS SPEECH IS OVER!" Squall yelled out.