Hopes & Dreams

By: Kishita Saori

Chapter 2: Hopes & Dreams

"Shigure no nii-chan? Are you sure you're not mad at me for making you go 'poof'?"

"Not at all…I'm sorry you had to see this."

"Why?"

"Because now you know what will happen if I try to hug you…why I'm such a bad brother to you."

"Shigure no nii-chan isn't a bad brother…now I know it wasn't because of me."

Shigure wished that it were her…maybe then it wouldn't have been this way, watching her waste away. She was shriveled and helpless as she sat in bed, too weak to move and coughing violently. Hatori was checking her, his face grim as he shook his head.

"Shigure no nii-chan…?" Shigure admired Shizu's strength, her will to stay brave even if she knew what everyone else did. She was nearing the end and yet she still hadn't cried…of regret or sadness…not even fear. "Can we go someplace…?"

"It's not good for you to travel," Hatori said abruptly, sitting back on a chair by her bedside, "It will only make your health deteriorate."

"It's all right, Ha'ri…" Shigure made sure she was wrapped in a blanket before picking her up, ignoring his surprised eyes. "I wouldn't want to die in a dusty place like this either."

The lake house was a place of good memories; a place where it was bright and peaceful instead of grim and noisy in the city. The sparkling blue lake was as bright as always, shimmering under the warm glare of the sun. Shizu relaxed as her brother set her down on the couch, looking out the opened window and smiling before opening the almost finished book.

"How can she do it? How can someone be so happy when they know they may not live through the rest of the day?" Yuki was spellbound, watching as his cousin just sat there, looking as if she were on vacation relaxing instead of sitting on her potential death bed.

"But…I see…well thanks for nothing." Shigure hung up the phone in the hall and heaved a great sigh. "They won't come…"

"Che, your parents are bastards, Shigure," Kyo said, his tone full of disdain, "They won't see their dying kid?"

"It shouldn't be a surprise." It truly wasn't either, but he was still mad. "That's just how they are, Kyo-chan."

"Shizu-san, would you like something to drink?"

"Tea would be nice, Tohru-chan, thanks."

"She sounds so lively." Ayame was freakishly silent today, his cheerfulness falling in the grim atmosphere. "Are you sure she's dying?"

"I'll be surprised if she lasts the night, Ayame," Hatori said calmly, leaning against the doorway with his shirt opened slightly while he listened to her cough, "It's finally reached her heart; it's beating slower then what's normal."

"Shi-chan, isn't the lake pretty?" Shigure's cheerfulness was noticeably forced, unlike his usually sincere-looking masks. "It's so nice with the breeze too."

Shizu wiped her mouth with her sleeve before nodding with a content smile. "Un! Can I have a pen, Shigure no nii-chan?"

He gave one to her with a curious eyebrow quirked, watching as she wrote something in his book. "What are you writing?"

"Something I want you to read tonight," She said without looking up, "Can you get me some more tea, nii-chan?"

He gave one last confused glance before going into the kitchen, pouring some more tea before going out. It was then his eyes dropped to the ground, his lips turning into a straight-line as he picked up the fallen pen. So weak… "Don't push yourself, Shi-chan."

Her breathing was sparse as she gripped the side of the chair, wincing with every intake of breath. Tilting her head, she let her forehead rest against his shoulder as she struggled for oxygen and whimpered softly, "Nii-chan…Shizu no kowai…"

From the doorway, the whole group watched as she took in her last painful breath, falling limply into Shigure's arms and making him transform for the last time.

That night, when the moon was full and high in the sky, dogs all around let out a howl in mourning.

Morning was a tense time, the usual joy bouncing off of Shigure and Ayame absent under the tense conditions as a sheet was pulled over her head. Her lips were blue, arms lying limply over the stretcher.

"Shizu no kowai…"

Shigure smiled as his 4 yr old sister gripped his pant leg, cowering behind him for protection. He loved being the protector to her, shielding her from all the bad in the world. It was saddening he couldn't do it all the time though, seeing as he was just moved into the main house and away from his family. "It's only a barking dog, Shi-chan."

She peeked at the now complacent puppy, holding out a tentative finger towards it hesitantly. The little retriever pup sniffed it before licking her finger, its tail wagging as he licked her cheek too eliciting a giggle from her. "Inu no kawaii!"

"Who's your favorite dog?"

Shizu pondered the question before jumping her brother in a hug and laughing when she saw his shocked face. "Nii-chan is Shizu's favorite puppy!"

Shigure would've stayed lost in his thoughts had he not realized Tohru, eyes red from crying, was standing in front of his silently. "Did you need something, Tohru-kun?"

"Shigure-san…ano…" She held out the book Shizu had been reading slowly. "You might want to read what Shizu-san wrote…it's specifically for you."

"Arigatou." With a small smile, he leaned back on the wall to read her still neat yet a bit shaky writing.

Shigure no nii-chan,

By the time you read this I know I'll be dead. Not to worry! I know it was just my calling…I don't even blame kaa-san or tou-san for denying I was sick so long. Perhaps if they had gotten me the right treatment I'd be alive now but…oh well…past is past. The present was the present and I don't think I'd want to change a thing.

Truthfully, nii-chan, I ran away from home that night…I missed you. I was worried since I know many of the Sohma's aren't the friendliest of people, especially to the cursed. I wanted to see if you were OK and honestly, I wanted to spend my last days with you.

Remember those dreams I told you of, nii-chan? The ones I had when I had still been able to see you? I told you I wanted the happy family's we always saw on TV…I always thought it would always be just a fantasy. I was so happy when I saw everyone though; you have that family, nii-chan, and my only regret is that I couldn't be a part of it for long. The point is I did feel like a part of it, for a little while, and you made me the happiest person on earth.

Treasure your new family, nii-chan, and forgive the old…if not for yourself then for me. Live the childhood you didn't really have with your new little sister, Tohru. Don't feel bad either! I love her to pieces from what I grew to know of her and she needs the brotherly protection, until she grows out of her youthful obliviousness phase, that is. Then you can be the big brother and scare off her suitors like I wished I could've had. If the smile the mail boy had for her was any indication, you can give a whole new vision to the 'dog chasing mailman' stereotype. Haha!

I'll watch from above… (Or below, haha!) and see if you follow through. I'll wait to see you again and hopefully…maybe…I can see Ha'ri-kun, Yame-san and you, nii-chan, again. It would be my greatest wish come true to be your little sister again so maybe, just maybe, we can give the fantasy life we both wanted a try, together.

Your dear sister,

Sohma Shizu

P.S. – I don't know about you but I'm putting the money I left you on Yuki-kun admitting his feelings to Tohru-chan first. Kyo-kun is still so guarded, tell him to lighten up! And if Ha'ri-kun doesn't accept my office and the small amount of money that I left him (Lord knows he needs a bigger one) bite him or something. I don't think Yame-san will put up much of a fight…he'll use the money to buy all sorts of nice fabrics! Just tell him to by a nice blue for me so I can wear it to my grave! I'll give a kick to the guys in the after life, haha!

P.S.S – Don't be so defensive with your perverted mask either, nii-chan, and try giving Mie-san a break, and not just with teasing her on deadlines either. Tell Ha'ri-kun I enjoyed the short time I had with him, too. Remember, I'll be watching…

"Shigure?" Yuki was quite surprised to see his cousin's eyes veiled by his bangs, lowering the book in his hand. "They're taking Shizu-san away now…"

"Say something already, you're freaking me out," Kyo said, backing away slightly as Shigure remained silent.

The writer didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Somehow, people like Shizu always did that to him. Her note was so true…but her humor about things was still there and…

"…my greatest wish come true…your little sister again…"

"…After she's gone…no one will ever love you the way she did…"

No one will ever love me like that again in this lifetime, probably, but… Shigure picked up the receiver of the phone when something struck him. "Say…Ha'ri?"

"What is it, Shigure?"

"What exactly did Shi-chan mean by 'Tell Ha'ri-kun I enjoyed the short time I had with him too'?" he gave the doctor a suspicious glare. "Is there something I should know about?"

"Oh Ha'ri, is that why…"

"Hush, Ayame."

Deciding on an interrogation later, Shigure picked up the phone and dialed a number, waiting until a familiar woman picked up. "Say, Mie-chan, it's me. No, I'm not calling for a deadline extension, it's already done. I wanted to know if you'd like to have dinner with me sometime…"

Up in the clouds above, draped in white, Shizu smiled and rested contently on her home. That's my nii-chan…

…Smart as always, Imouto, Shigure thought with a smile as he set the receiver down. Someday…

Somehow…

…We'll be together again and fulfill those hopes & dreams…

Owari