A/N: Hey guys, this is just a one-shot kind of thing I just magically came up with (aren't I fabulous??) when I was having a brain lapse with In My Reflection. This is in Ronnie's POV, and then next chapter is in Miranda's (if I ever do that; I'm going to have to get a LOT of good reviews to do that). Have fun!

I've made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime.
When I was six years old, I told my mom I hated her.
We were walking to the park one day, and she was holding my hand. I still remember the confused look on her face that was always plastered there.
"Ronnie, honey," She stopped and knelt down, facing me. I remember the feeling of her skin. It was so smooth. And she smelled faintly of lilac. "Give me a hug. Tell me you love me, Ronnie, I need to hear it." I hugged her, confused.
"Can we go to the park?," I asked, exasperated. She had been acting so strangely.
"Tell me you love me, Ronnie," She repeated.
"Why?," I asked curiously.
"Just do it!," She said forcefully.
"No!," I cried.
"Ronnie," She started sobbing, "I need to hear it."
"No! I hate you!," I pushed her away. She fell on the pavement, crying. I didn't understand why she needed me to love her. I didn't understand what was going on.
But she did leave the next day. Forever.
Lizzie reminded me a lot of her. Whenever I saw her and her blonde hair, her startling warm eyes, her smooth skin.. I felt a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and I wanted to embrace her and tell her I loved her. I wanted to touch her, and breathe in her scent. Maybe she smelled like lilac.
In one of my rare strokes of genius, I seized the opportunity to talk to her. I was her paper boy. It was the perfect romance. She when to Hillridge, I found out. We were separated by a school system. But I wasn't going to be apart from my angel for long. I spoke to her. I spoke to her and didn't stutter. I was so happy. I wrote love letter upon love letter for her. I stuck them in her morning paper in a pathetic attempt to romance her. And it worked.
I spent time with her. I bragged to my friends that I was dating a beautiful blonde angel. I prayed she felt the same way. I even kissed her, a short and simple kiss. It was bliss. It was like having.a garden or something. Yeah, a garden. I was completely giddy.. Giddy as a guy can be.
And then it all fell apart.
My mother came home. In some amazing feat, she found her way back after being lost for eight years. In a horrible cliché, she said she had needed to find herself. I had one thing to say to her. Fuck you.
Another mistake. I always blamed myself for being horrible to my mother, for chasing her away. And maybe I did. And maybe she did need to find herself. I wasn't so sure.
She ignored my snide comments and her damnation. She even tried to get to know me.
"Lizzie McGuire?," She squealed at the name. "That cute little girl down the street? You're dating her? Good for you." And that's when it REALLY all fell apart.
I discovered Megan, a blithering idiot of a girl from my school, had fallen head over heels in love with me when I read my English paper to the class. She said I was a "sweetie pie" and very "dateable". I hated Megan, but she was my way out.
I still remember Lizzie's eyes when I told her we couldn't see each other anymore. Idiot, I thought to myself. I'm such an idiot. But I went on. There was no going back now. Her whole body, her whole beautiful body, seemed to be made of tears. I knew it was the wrong way, that I was hurting Lizzie and myself more than hurting Mom, but I couldn't go on staring into those eyes.
Everything I do, everything I see, everything I breathe is Lizzie. I barely dated her at all, but I had longed and lusted over her for so long..
Sometimes I just want to die. Just die right then and there, and stop listening to Megan's fashion babble, and stop joking with the other guys, and most of all stop seeing Lizzie everywhere I go. I just want to plunge a knife into my heart, or shoot myself in the head. No, no, that would be too easy.
I deserve to live. Not in a good way. Life is a slow, cruel torture; the only thing keeping us alive is momentary happiness and the fear that death will be worse.. But nothing could be worse than this. Nothing could be worse than feeling an arrow pierce your heart with every step. Nothing could be worse than my mistakes. The mistakes I made that screwed up my very existence with a momentary lack of brains. Nothing could be so cruel. I am mistaken. Everything could be so cruel.

A/N: So, what do you think? Should I go on with Miranda's views of things? Do you just like it this way? I'll need reviews people, ASAP!!