|Naraku's Hangover or The Strangeness Continues
Author: chatnoir1 PM
This story ties in with Naraku's Very Strange day. Poor Naraku, he has a sake hangover, there appear to be prayer beads around his neck and he is still getting no respect. I've decided, due to a few bad words and some sexual references, to up the rating.Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,293 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 04-26-03 - Published: 04-17-03 - id: 1309383
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I still don't own Naraku. But I can have fun torturing him in fic.
This story ties in with Naraku's Very Strange Day. What can I say, I am out to fill the need for Naraku torture fics. It's how I show my love.
Naraku stirred. It was after noon. Something smelled awful. Something reeked more than a cave full of dead youkai. He sat up slowly, looking for the source of the smell. He didn't see anything but empty bottles of sake, lots of them. The smell was making his eyes water. Then he realized it was coming from him. A combination of sweat, sake and not having bathed nor changed clothes in a week. His neck was itching and he reached up to scratch it, then froze. There were beads around his neck. Prayer beads. The same kind Inuyasha wore. He stood up, his eyes flashing so fast they created a strobe effect. He took long breaths. Panicking would serve no purpose and he seemed to be the only person here. He would take a long hot bath and consider his options. He picked his way through the bottles, being careful not to break any. The last thing he needed right now was to be picking glass out of his feet for the next several days.
Naraku's bath was supplied by a continually flowing natural hot spring and had been for his private use only, so he was rather surprised to find it occupied. By Kikyo.
"Oi Naraku-chan. I told you that miasma wouldn't work on me." Kikyo leaned towards him sniffing. "Oh, wait. That's just you."
"Are you the one responsible for these?" Naraku pointed to the beads around his neck.
"No, but I can think of a good command. Play dead."
"Get. Out. Of. My. Bath. Bitch." Naraku massaged his aching temples.
Kikyo narrowed her eyes. "Kisama. It's big enough for two and it's not like I haven't seen what little you have to show before."
"Well, you are no Inuyasha."
Naraku grabbed Kiyko, yanked her out of his bath, then threw her through the door way. He threw her clothes after her. He broke her bow and arrow into little bits, then stomped on them. He stripped and eased into the bath. Kaede was the one who had placed the beads on Inuyasha. Kagome had simply spoken the control word. Did the old hag take revenge for his having rejected her advances? Memories of Kaede's hand groping his thigh caused him to shudder. What if it was true? What if Kaede made him perform perversions as a price for removal of the beads? Not that he had anything against perversion, mind you, but he did have limits. And he was sure that Kaede was way the hell over the line. Could Sango have placed the beads on him? The possibility was remote, but the imagined scenarios provided a welcome diversion for the remainder of his bath. He glanced downwards. Little to show? Feh. He would never understand what Onigumo had seen in that annoying bitch.
When he emerged, Naraku smelled a great deal better, but his head was continuing to punish him for the sake. His futon was a lost cause, so he burned it, along with the clothes he had been wearing. Then he transported to Kaede's village.
Kaede, Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango and Shippo were enjoying their evening meal when Inuyasha suddenly sniffed and growled. "Naraku is here. Feh, smells like he's been on a sake binge as well."
Kagome ladled some stew into a bowl and passed it to Shippo. "He must have sobered up enough to discover the prayer beads around his neck."
Naraku went for dramatic entrance number 1, hair blowing, eyes blazing red, chin up, nostrils flared, lips pressed in a thin line. He paused for a few seconds for maximum effect, then using his most commanding voice, said "I demand to know who is responsible for these beads."
They looked up at him, then returned to their meals. Naraku decided to try again. Shimatta, this would never have happened if he still had his baboon pelt. Now that made a statement. The second time, he added a touch of miasma. Kagome and Sango coughed a little, that was it.
"What is wrong with you people? Why aren't you terrified?"
"I don't know." Kagome looked at him thoughtfully. "You just don't seem as terrifying without the baboon pelt. Plus, there is the fact that you smell like you fell into a vat of sake." She reached into her enormous backpack and pulled out a bar of soap. "Next time you bathe, try this." She handed the soap to him.
Kaede continued to stir the stew. "I do not know who put the beads on you Naraku. I wouldn't bother. I want you dead. Inuyasha wants you dead. Kagome wants you dead. Sango wants you dead. Miroku wants you dead before the year is up."
Shippo not wanting to be left out, spoke up "I want Naraku dead too."
Naraku's hangover was beginning to take on a life of its own and judging from the way he felt, it wanted him dead as well. And there was an unknown person out there with the ability to control him. Without another word, he took his soap and left.
"How long do you think it will take before he realizes those are fake beads?" Kagome mused.
Naraku sat on the ground next to the Bone-Eater's well, cradling his aching head. He had killed a rabbit; his stomach was telling him Feed me, baka, but his head was saying I wouldn't do that if I were you. He moaned.
"Naraku. I wouldn't think it possible, but you have become even more pitiful." Sesshomaru sniffed disdainfully.
"Go the fuck away."
"I should kill you, but in your present state it would be an act of mercy. I have my reputation to think of. Yours seems to have vanished with your baboon pelt."
"Someone put prayer beads around my neck."
"Are you certain?" Shesshomaru looked at the beads. "Have you tried to remove them?"
"No. I just assumed..." Naraku had this feeling of foreboding. He grabbed the beads and slid them over his head without any trouble. His face turned a shade of red to match his eyes."IIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!" His screams were heard across all Japan. Sesshomaru almost cracked a smile. Almost.
Back at Kaede's cottage, Kaede nodded. "He knows now." Everyone collapsed in fits of laughter.
Naraku threw the offending beads, unfortunately catching Sesshomaru right in the left eye. Sesshomaru's eyes turned red and he flexed the claws on his right hand. It began to take on a greenish hue (so did Naraku) as he charged up his poison claws. Naraku did what he did best, he got the hell out of there, leaving his rabbit behind. He returned to the castle and set up a barrier, then spent the rest of the night honing his brooding skills.