Title: "In Your Dreams"

Author: Els-chan

Fandom: Harry Potter

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: HP/SS

Warnings: Slash, leisuresuit!Sirius, sundress!Voldie, kendo!Snape, canine!Harry, female!Harry

Summary: This was just a fit of insanity that happened as a result of my writer's block (which I'm still suffering from). It was written under the influence of "Bad Dog No Biscuits" from Cowboy Bebop (which may or may not explain the beginning part of the dream). Don't ask me where the costumes…or really any of the plot came from, as I myself don't know. Remember? Fit of insanity? By the way, this was initially going to be an interlude in Mortal Coil, but I decided that it was a bit too…silly. Yes, that's the word. Silly.

Harry was, for the first time in ages, dreaming. He wasn't having nightmares (at least, not in the traditional sense), he was genuinely dreaming. And the dream he was having could only be described as weird.

He was a Welsh corgie being chased through a rather busy shopping district by both Sirius and Voldemort. Normally, being chased by Voldemort would be quite terrifying, but the effect was ruined by the bright pink sundress and flowery hat that the Dark Lord had donned. Sirius wasn't much better; Harry would never have to wonder how his godfather would look wearing a white leisure suit. Of course, Harry hadn't ever experienced a great desire to see the ex-convict in a leisure suit in the first place. He wondered what Remus would think.

Eventually the two managed to corner him on a bridge. He had no way out. Then he noticed a boat passing under the bridge. If he timed it just right…

Turning, Harry leapt off the bridge. He missed landing on the boat by a good meter or so, and wound up splashing into the freezing water. Here, his dream took an unexpected turn. When he emerged from the water he was human again, but with one small difference – he seemed to have suddenly sprouted breasts. He didn't have time to wonder about this, though, as Sirius and Voldie had almost caught up with him. Turning, he began running again, although he couldn't for the life of him figure out why he was running from his godfather.

They were back in the shopping district by the time Harry realized that he was clad only in a bra, panties, and flipflops. Embarrassed, he ducked into a side alley. He watched as Sirius and Voldie ran past, oblivious to the fact that Harry was no longer in front of them.

Harry sighed deeply and was just about to go find some clothes when strong hands grabbed him from behind and pulled him close to a firm, muscular, male body.

"Harriet, my love, where have you been?" a deep, silky, and awfully familiar voice softly murmured into his ear. Harry swallowed hard and turned around. Sure enough, there stood Severus Snape. He was dressed oddly, though, in black, flowing pants, a blue tunic, and bare feet, with a wooden sword at his side. Granted, he looked absolutely delectable in his kendo uniform, but that didn't make the bizarre scene any less unsettling.

"Professor...?" Harry began, but was unable to complete whatever he was going to say as the older man pulled him into a searing kiss. Before Harry had a chance to reciprocate, however, Sirius and Voldemort somehow managed to find him, and the chase was back on. Grabbing the professor by the hand, he started running yet again.

After ducking in and out of various different buildings, Harry and Severus were finally able to lose their pursuers. Exhausted from all the running, Harry turned to Severus and fell into his waiting arms. The man caught him and held him close for a few moments while Harry caught his breath. Then he turned and led the rather busty young man up a flight of stairs and into a bedroom done up in shades of forest and tan. Harry turned as he heard the lock on the door click into place. He was met by the sight of a very nude and incredibly sexy Severus Snape. He licked his lips hungrily and pounced. Just as his tongue began its exploration of Severus's tonsils, the floor gave out and they were both falling, falling…

Harry woke up with a gasp. It was morning. He looked down at his lap. Sure enough, his little soldier was standing at attention, ready to salute the day. Harry blinked the sleep out of his eyes and groaned. The first decent dream he'd had in ages, and it had to end so abruptly, just as he was about to get some. Damn.

…Oh, well. At least he didn't have breasts anymore.

~Owari ~