By

FerretMalfoy

FM: Here you go...I think this is the fastest I've ever gotten a chapter out. I don't own this, as everyone knows. Enjoy and review, please.

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Chapter Two

A Mad Tea-Party-A Very Merry Un-Un-Birthday

(Or as I like to call it: "Din Din")

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Silence. Awkward, awkward silence. The only sound to be heard was the scraping of silverware against fine china. Lucius sat at the head of the table, grumbling to himself and glaring at in the direction of Harry. His wife, Narcissa, sat beside him delicately eating with a graceful smile upon her face. Harry and Draco sat on the other side of the Malfoy patriarch, Draco acting as a buffer between his father and his boyfriend.

"So, Harry, dear," Narcissa started after taking a small sip from the goblet in front of her. "What all did you receive for your birthday? Anything interesting?"

Harry gulped and answered after an encouraging look from Draco. "Why, yes, Mrs. Malfoy-"

"Narcissa, if you please."

"Narcissa," he repeated, nervously. Lucius looked as if he were going to burst a blood vessel. Conveniently forgetting to mention the tube of lube, Harry recollected his birthday presents aloud.

"That all sounds very interesting, Harry. I'm sure you'll enjoy them very much. And, how are the Weasleys doing? And your little friend...Hermione, was it?"

"Hermione's doing quite nicely, thank you. She's vacationing with her parents in Australia right now. And the Weasleys are fine as well." Harry was becoming very distracted as he spoke; Lucius appeared as if he were doing an impression of a tomato. Everyone else at the table was quiet as Narcissa chattered on about little things, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room.

"You'll never believe what I found out from Severus yesterday when I went to visit him, Luci, darling." Harry had always had terrible timing and self-control, and the current situation was no excuse. He spit his wine out, spraying it on himself, his boyfriend, and the table. He laughed out loud before he remembered who he was laughing at. Draco put a hand on his knee, squeezing as the Gryffindor turned red.

"Dearest," Lucius said through clenched teeth. "We agreed that you wouldn't use that vile nickname in front of company."

She merely rolled her eyes and continued to speak of Professor Snape. "Well, anyway, Sev stayed at Hogwarts for this summer to put up extra wards in preparation for the upcoming battle with You-Know-Who." Now she was talking to Harry, apparently not wanting to leave him out of the loop. "The new Defense teacher is none other than Bill Weasley." Harry's eyes widened, then he grinned.

"That's fantastic! He won't try to kill me or erase my memory or anything!"

"Harry, what are you talking about?" Draco looked confused.

"I never told you about Lockheart? I'll tell you later, then. Now, Narcissa, what were you saying about Bill?" She smiled and went on.

"What I was saying is that the young Mr. Weasley has taken a liking to our Severus. He's being courted! Isn't that wonderful?"

"Ewww!" With the most disgusted look upon his face, Draco shuddered. Harry looked at him with concern and curiosity

"Draco, what's the matter?"

"That's really gross. A Weasley? Severus hates Weasleys."

"Apparently not the hot ones," Harry murmured, earning a glare from his boyfriend.

"What?" the youngest Malfoy squawked. "You think someone other than me is hot?"

"Can you blame me? You were at the Quidditch World Cup, so you must have seen him."

Draco calmed down a bit.

"The one with the ponytail and the earring and the super tight pants?" Harry nodded. "Oh, he was hot."

"ENOUGH!" Everyone looked at Lucius, who stood up. "I will not have discussion of Weasleys-" he spat the name out in rage "-at MY dinner table, under MY roof!"

"Lucius Malfoy!" Narcissa stood also, reprimanding her husband. "Harry is practically family and it is his birthday. I will not let you ruin this for him. And, iff you remember correct, Molly Weasley is my second cousin, and it would do you good not to insult her."

Harry had no idea what was going on, but Draco didn't seemed phased by it.

Narcissa and Lucius stared each other down, before an odd look came over the man's face. He sat down, ungracefully, and sighed in defeat. Narcissa did the same, albeit artfully. Things settled down once more, and Harry relaxed when he saw that there would be no further argument.

Draco's mother continued with her chatter as if nothing had happened, though Harry caught some not so subtle ravenous-looking glances between the couple.

"Draco," he whispered. The blond turned towards him. "Why are your parents looking at each other like that? Why isn't your father angry?" Draco smiled.

"Because when Mom puts the trousers on, Daddy gets off on it. After dinner, they're going to go upstairs and screw like rabbits. It's quite disturbing." Harry nodded his head in agreement.

"But why did your dad give up so easily?"

"My mother has this special power. Her eyes are hypnotic*. She could convince anyone to do her bidding. She only ever uses a tad of her power on my father, but he likes it. The only time I saw her use every ounce of it was when Voldemort decided to pay a visit. He's afraid of her now. Funny, no?"

Harry knew he liked the woman, but now he had a tremendous amount of respect for her, the type of reverence he had for Dumbledore.

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After they had finished the fifth course of their meal, a large cake was served. Harry fell asleep over his plate due to his exhaustion, and Draco had to practically carry him up to his chamber.

"Draco, I don't wanna go back." Harry sat on his lover's bed, a pout upon his face.

"I'm sure Mum wouldn't mind if you stayed the night. Although, we shouldn't risk asking right now; not with the way they were looking at each other."

"Yeah. I don't even want to know what they're doing with that cake they had taken to their room." They simultaneously shuddered then fell back onto the bed, which led to kissing, which led to groping, which led to more interesting things.

They fell asleep much, much later, very naked and tangled in each other's limbs.

~~

The next morning, they went down to breakfast, surprising Lucius, but not Narcissa. She actually looked gleeful and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'grandbabies'. Then, in a comprehensible volume of voice, announced that she would love it if Harry would continue the rest of the summer at Malfoy Manor.

Harry and Draco looked at each other in disbelief, but Harry quickly accepted, and went to gather his things from the Dursley household. He reminded himself to write to Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Hagrid, and Dumbledore to inform them of his change of address (though Dumbledore probably already knew).

After telling his aunt and uncle (who were brought to tears in joy at finally being rid of him), he shoved his trunk through the mirror, then handed Hedwig to Draco. He followed soon after, silently saying goodbye to his wretched room and relations and that tiny cupboard under the stairs.

Draco summoned the mirror when Harry safely arrived, and the thing folded into itself and came out of Draco's mirror.

"I don't even want to think about how that was possible," Harry said to his boyfriend, who was already unpacking his clothes and placing them next to his own.

~~

To Be Continued...

A/N: This chappy seemed rather short to me and I don't think it turned out very well. Hopefully, you guys do, so review and build up my self-esteem!

*= Narcissa's eyes, as described, are based on Drusilla from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

(Speaking of Buffy, who else is really angry that Spike died? Didn't it just piss you off?)