I'm sorry, Andros.

I'm sorry for so many things.

I didn't want it to be like this. I didn't want…

When I saw you, that day, the day that Dark Spectre almost won, you were the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. And I wanted, so badly, to help you. You were fighting for me, for your sister, for a world that wasn't yours but that you called home all the same.

Remember when you almost got your sister back? When she realized who she was? She tried to take me with her, to the Megaship. The only thing you knew then was that Karone had turned her back on you, and chosen to remain Astronema. She wanted to be good again, Andros, she really did.

I stopped her.

Did you wonder why she had cybernetic implants the next time you saw her? Those were my doing. I turned her in to Dark Spectre, dragged her there, threw her at his metaphorical feet and laughed at her terror. Those bits of twisted wires and circuits were designed to keep her under his control. Of course, you probably figured that out when Darkonda killed Dark Spectre. Or maybe you knew it before. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

We captured you once. All of you except the Pink Ranger. She and the ever-resourceful Blue Ranger managed to turn the tables, free all of you. You even tried to turn me back to good. I refused to listen, of course. The reprogramming Dark Spectre had done while I slept, healing from the injuries his general had inflicted, was far too deeply entwined in my mind to be so easily broken.

I wonder, now, if it has been broken, or if it merely lies dormant, waiting for some sign to re-emerge.

The day that the rebels surrendered, I was there. It made the victory that much sweeter when I removed my helmet and they knew who I was. I shudder at the memory now. I've seen them only once since then. They said that I could stay there, to heal, and that there was nothing to forgive.

Do you know how that feels, Andros? Do you know how it feels to have defeated and tortured your own, enjoyed every minute of it, and to have them tell you that there is nothing to forgive? I couldn't face them, so I came to Earth.

It was almost worse. At first, Karone felt the same way I did. She had done terrible things as Astronema. Of course, she had grown up with the knowledge that her destiny was to fight the forces of goodness. But when she broke free, she came home. It wasn't her fault, that she lived the majority of her life as Astronema. And she knew it. It was hard for her, but she managed to overcome her guilt.

I don't know if I can do that. I should have been able to resist. I … I was a Ranger! I was the Silver Ranger - feared, respected, legendary. And yet I was like clay in Dark Spectre's hands. I did all that he asked of me. I used my knowledge of you to further advance our plans.

It was lucky that you changed the access codes on the Megaship. I would have been able to take it, otherwise. Things would have turned out very differently.

I saw you nearly kill your sister. Ecliptor was on Earth, overseeing the horde of Quantrons, and I was supposed to protect her. You nearly trusted me, when I stepped out of the shadows and dropped my weapon. You came so close to falling into my trap. Just one more step, an outreached hand, and I would have had you. I would have won.

You saw through me, of course. You fought me, and defeated me, and destroyed the time warp that held Zordon. You killed your mentor – our mentor – and saved the universe.

And I woke up. The explosion of your weapon threw me too far away for you to easily see me, and your sister was right there. I saw you pick her up and walk away. I don't remember much after that, only that the next thing I saw clearly was the ceiling of the Megaship's medbay, and the Pink Ranger smiling down at me.

"He's okay!" she said.

But I wasn't.

I didn't know if I wanted to be close to you again, like we were before, or if I wanted to run as far and fast as I could.

I tried running, but the new KO-35 wasn't the answer.

I tried to be close to you, and the feeling of your skin touching mine, your… You were willing to pick up where we'd left off, and for a brief moment, I almost did. But then I saw the way the Yellow Ranger looked at you. Being close wasn't the answer either.

You were frustrated with me. I could see it in your eyes, your movements, hear it in your voice. I can't blame you for it. I don't want to be a burden to you, Andros. I loved you once, but I don't know if I am capable of feeling anything any more, and I don't want to make you unhappy.

So, by the time you see this, you won't have to worry about me ever again. I'll be safe. And you will be safe, because Dark Spectre's programming will have died with me. He won't be able to reach me any more. Nothing will. I think… I want it that way.

Goodbye, Andros.