Disclaimer: No, I don't own Les Miz. I would like to. Or at least, I'd like to own Javert. But I don't. Curses.

Javert's Diary

*If anyone besides Froo-Froo P. Javert reads this, they will be sent to jail for 20-40 years. I mean it.

Day 1:

Put an old man in prison today for lying in the mud. Not sure if lying in the mud is an offense, but if not, should be. MWOHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love my job. Spent 2 hours stroking sideburns lovingly. I heard that doing so helps them grow faster! Hope so, as have been assured that sideburns are chick-magnets.

Day 2:

Tried to send an 8 year old to jail, but stupid Mayor stopped me. I swear, that man has it in for me. Kinda reminds me of my ex, Jean. But I doubt Jean-ie-pooh-bear would ever change his name to something as wussy as Madeline. Will attempt to seduce nonetheless. None can resist the allure of the Sideburns!

Day 4:

Met a whore, tried to buy her. Said her name was Fatine and that she only answered to the Mayor. Tried to throw her in jail for combating my Sexy Sideburns, but Mayor came to save the day. Said he was taking her to a hospital. Yeah, and I dye my hair. Which I don't.

Day 5:

Yay! Got letter from superiors! THEY FOUND MY JEAN-IE-POOH-BEAR!!! Will go straight away.

Day 6:

Damn. Turns out the guy I thought was Jean-ie was really some random innocent, and the Mayor is Valjean. He ruined a good moment when he ran right off to Fatine's bedside. Cheating Bastard. But I'm on his tail. Oh yes, I am following him. MWOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahem.

Day 7:

Cornered ex in hospital. When I came in, The Whore Who Stole My Boyfriend was playing dead. What? I'm not stupid, you know. I'm not. Jean told me that before I said another word and chained him up like a slave again that there was something he had to do. Does he think me MAD? I've hunted him across the years, men like him can never change; a man such as him! I then slapped him, and he pulled my hair. He then took out a pair of scissors and threatened to cut off my sideburns. I decided that it was wise to let him leave. But there is no place for him to hide! Wherever he will hide away, I swear to you, I will be there!