Author: Chandra1 PM
Hermione's gone through a change that has gotten the Professors worried, Snape is the only one that can relate, and he confronts her one night about it. What results in that night is a nightmare for both - stronger and more evil than the Dark Lord himselfRated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Angst - Severus S. & Hermione G. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,383 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 05-27-03 - Published: 05-21-03 - id: 1353180
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Ohhh- the final chapter. There won't be anymore Crystal Angel after this. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and to everyone who read it but didn't leave reviews. I'm working on the bigger fanfic; hopefully my beta will contact me soon. Anyway, hmm - credits. Well, duh, Harry Potter isn't mine. What else…there may be an X-files twinge to this, and the lyrics at the bottom (which aren't a part of the story, but I heard the song and thought - 'whoa'…you don't have to read them) are part of the The X-Files: The Album. Oh, some A Beautiful Mind also. Enjoy! Review-review-Review!! Oh- BTW, I have found the movie script to Requiem for a Dream if anyone would care to read it, email me! Chandra80D@charter.net
Crystal Angel- "Chapter five: Regrets and Death"
"Can we see him personally?" Minerva asked as her and Dumbledore followed the doctor into an observation room, which was placed right next to Snape's room.
The doctor, whose nametag read "Dr. Barnley", turned with an apologetic smile, "No, I'm afraid you cannot. He is not allowed any visitors besides his lawyer until the court hearing." Dumbledore let Minerva in ahead of him, when all three were inside, the doctor turned a bit grim. "Now, I know you two have seen some terrible things, but, um, sometimes Crystal Angel users aren't the most welcome sight to see once they've been off the drug in weeks. Severus has been doing well; he just stands there and looks into nothing. But, he talks to himself a lot, and we have him on Suicide Watch." Dr. Barnley explained to the two, who just nodded. "And another thing, about the trial, since he is not mentally capable of making such a strong decision, we're going to leave it to you, Albus. Since Severus was a user of Crystal Angel, we can keep him here under study, instead of him facing the Death Penalty, he'll be here for the rest of his life, but…" the doctor shrugged as he fiddled with his wand, "he'd be helping others who are under it's power."
Albus sat there in a seat in front of the wall, with Minerva by his side. Quietly he pondered this. "Dr. Barnley," he said after a moment, "although I know Severus is under the drug, I do feel his mind is capable of making a decision. Let Severus decide, it is his fate."
The doctor looked stunned for a moment, and then nodded, taking the Headmaster's decision as final, and writing it on a piece of parchment for the lawyer to be notified of. "Shall we begin?" the doctor asked, and the two visitors nodded. The wall before them was disappearing underneath a window charm the doctor used, to where people in the room could see Snape, but Snape couldn't see them. The doctor sat beside Dumbledore, and they watched for a moment.
Snape's room was a blank, white room. A cot, a rickety chair, a toilet, and a built in counter space, presumably for eating, was all that was in his room. Snape stood, looking out the tiny slit that was the window, which a charm had been cast to show a happy outdoors, sometimes a brilliant sunset. His fingers were at his mouth, tapping his lips as he spoke. He was dressed in a thin white pantsuit, common to the people admitted into the mental wards, his hair had been cut short for in fear he'd try and choke himself on it. He stood there, lost, confused, sad, and depressed. Minerva shook a bit, and covered her mouth with her hand, trying to be strong, while Dumbledore's eyes lost their sparkle, and watered a bit at the pain of the one he loved so much. The Doctor gave them a minute to recover, and started to explain.
"Crystal Angel is a powerful drug," he began, "the reason why you haven't heard of it is because it has been kept remarkably underground and secret since it's introduction into our world in the 1970s. Only certain people are allowed to take it. They are chosen by the common side effect that all users see - the "Crystal Angel". She is a vision the users see that takes on their greatest desires, and basically controls them. Other side effects are flying into the sunset, with the colors flying at great speeds past the user, sheer happiness, most of our users describe it as being in Heaven, feeling the Angel touch them and give their hearts what they want. The "Angel", according to the people who have started coming to us for help, is an extremely jealous and protective force. She picks her users young, on how strong and loyal they are. The ones who have helped us observe Severus here say he might have been started on the drug at thirteen."
Minerva started to pace the room, while Dumbledore sat there, concentrating on the doctor.
"Albus, what was Severus's greatest desire?" the doctor asked, and Dumbledore shut his eyes in a hopeless feeling of regret.
"A Mother, a Lover, someone who lifted him above the rest, loved him so much. His Father, when he was younger, forbid the boy to be in contact with his Mother, and beat him out of preparation for the Dark Side." Dumbledore explained as the doctor took notes.
"How's it made?" Minerva asked from the other side of the room.
"We aren't sure, our users haven't been able to obtain a sample. They say the Angel must have noticed their behavior, telling us her secret, and cut them off of her supply. But, from the information we have gathered, it must contain some very, very strong hypnotism spells, control spells, hallucinogen spells, probably a good bit of Dark Magic, and Muggle drugs - charmed so their effects were stronger. I wouldn't be surprised if Severus was helping to make it." the doctor looked between the two of them, who were torn to pieces of Snape's life now. "Do you two understand what I'm trying to say? Once this Angel comes to them, she is a part of them, like a normal human being, like a real person. Her touch, her taste, her feel, her smell, are all apart of their worlds. She's real to them; they say she haunts their dreams. Voldemort," the doctor said seriously, "has nothing on this Angel according to the users." Minerva let out a tiny gasp, and tears began to flow freely from her eyes as Dumbledore spoke the question that was on both their minds.
"This… "Angel"…told Severus to kill Ms. Granger?" Dumbledore sadly asked.
The doctor shook his head 'yes'. "It seems like something she would do. Jealous that he was in love with Ms. Granger instead of her." the doctor explained, and Minerva let out a tiny wail at the mention of her student.
Dumbledore shook his head; so much trust went into Snape…why? Why did he have to fall like this?
"We have talked to Severus." Dr. Barnley continued, "To tell you the honest truth, I've never seen a man more upset at what he has done. Most of the people who are under the drug come to us when they've had enough. But, Severus…he cries all the time. At night - we can just hear him wailing for Hermione. He says he regrets everything he has ever done, and all he wants right now is to feel her against him again, to feel to warmth of her body against his, to hear her voice. He says Hermione, along with his Father, and the Angel, haunt his dreams, but instead of Anger - like the latter two, Hermione haunts him in a different way. He dreams of them laying in bed, or walking outside. He dreams of her smile, and her bright eyes. He says the ones that hurt him the most are the ones when she's re doing her makeup, and he's putting her lipstick on her. Severus…was in love with this girl. And, I think right now, he'd sell his soul to have her back on the planet." Dr. Barnley shook his head sadly.
"He was in love with her?" Minerva asked. Dr. Barnley would have expected anger to come from the two Masters of the school, but when he shook his head 'yes', their expressions only got graver. The three said nothing as they watched Snape's lawyer walk into his room.
Snape stood in the white pantsuit staring out the window of his room. The Great Crystal Angel was sitting in the chair, talking about how much she loved him - and how he was hers forever. But all he thought about was the look on Hermione's face as they made drugged love, and the look when he killed her, but what drove him crazy was the look she had when she realized what was happening.
He smiled. His Angel loved him forever for it. She promised awards beyond his wildest dreams.
Then he remembered the suicide attempt. Oh! He had wanted to leave, to get away, but someone had heard his screams, because the Angel wouldn't let him die. Why did he add the Crystal Angel in there in the first place? He didn't know why, he didn't care. Snape no longer cared about anything anymore. His trial was coming up; he was a dead man walking. But he deserved to die, and he was happy - because finally, his pain and suffering underneath his past would be gone forever! He would be dead, and gone, a burden no longer to himself or anyone else. 'Oh sweet death, come quicker.' he thought.
"I'm so proud of you, Severus." he heard the Crystal Angel say.
"Shut up." Snape snapped - not looking behind him - his eyes focused far off.
"What is that?" another female voice asked. His lawyer.
"What are you doing here?" Snape's voice bit into the silence. He turned to see the female, dressed in expensive designer robes, carrying a leather briefcase and an expensive quill. She was making way to sit in the chair the Angel was in.
"Don't sit there." he ordered, the woman stopped hesitantly from sitting.
"Why not?" she asked questionably.
"Because she is sitting there." Snape said flatly.
"Who is she?" the lawyer asked again in her manner.
Snape walked a bit closer to her, but not dangerously close, he knew spells would keep him tied down if he lost control, while orderlies would come and sedate him. "Who is who?" he asked, and then remembered, "Oh - forgive me - sit, go ahead." and the woman sat down. "You must forgive me…it's very - disturbing. I'm trying to get in my head that…she's not real." Snape said sadly, and he felt his control over situations slip through him as the days in the ward re-formed his mind. His body craved for the sunset again, and even though he could see the Great Crystal Angel…her presence was getting weaker and weaker, and he was afraid to go another day without a dose, because he would lose her for sure.
"I bet it is." the lawyer said uncaringly. "I'm here to discuss with you your case in front of the court for the last time before tomorrow." she explained as he sat on the bed and shook his head in understanding. "Now, since you are a victim to this drug that the hospital knows next to nothing about, you can fight the Death Penalty for the chance to stay here, under observation for the rest of your life, so the doctors can study the drug." the lawyer said, although there was a tone in her voice that said he should be killed right here and then, not to be wasting taxes on, money to keep him alive.
Snape sat there for a moment, thinking. And he shook his head 'No' after a moment. "No, I cannot except that offer." he said, looking at the lawyer, and despising her expensive robes, her high-class air around her. "I have done things that warrant me death. I wish for it everyday. I deserve death, no longer being able to accept this privilege of being alive." his voice cracked a bit as he felt a tear go down his face, "Not without Hermione…I have no reason to live, not without her."
"I'm so proud of you! Even though you're also thinking of the whore! You are going to die for me instead of tell my secret! Oh, Severus, you are truly loyal to only me!" the Angel sounded happily against the wall opposite to him. He looked up at her, and felt a presence, a presence he hadn't felt in a long time.
"You're going to accept the Death Penalty?" the lawyer asked, unbelieving.
"Yes…" he stated off-handedly, "Do I have company?" he changed the subject quickly.
"No, you don't have company." the lawyer said too quickly, and Snape got up from the bed and started to walk towards the wall.
On the other side, Minerva and Dumbledore quickly got closer to the glass as Snape walked up to it.
"Albus!" they heard Snape call, his voice muffled through the wall, "Minerva!" Snape started to pound against the wall, trying to get to them. Tears pooled in his eyes, and started to fall, as they watched Snape's fingers try and grasp the solid flat surface, they put their hands up to the glass, as if trying to touch them. Snape leaned his forehead onto their hands from the other side, and cried against the glass. They watched as he looked up, and screamed their names again and again, pounding. And finally, he stopped pounding, but stood there, hands on the glass, hoping they'd hear him, and he stood crying, at the top of his lungs, but still muffled from the glass: "I'm sorry," he cried, "I'm so so sorry, I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry!"
"You, Severus Snape, have been charged with procession and the creation of an illegal drug, sexual acts with a minor, partnership with Voldemort and the Dark Arts, including using the Forbidden Curses, and with the murder of Ms. Hermione Granger. It is my decision, along with the courts, to punish you with death." the judge stated to Snape, who stood in front of him, flanked by his lawyer on one side, and a strong uniformed public safety protector on the other. Snape, who had his head bowed at the shame of his terrible past being read out in front of the court, which included many people from the press, and the public, including nearly every teacher from Hogwarts, along with Harry and Ron. Lights flashed in his vision and voices spoke as Snape lifted his head to look at the Judge, and to say a low "Thank you." before the guard lead him out onto the courtyard, where a stake was fixed in the ground, surrounded by bales of hay. On his way, his arms tied behind him, he noticed two people who looked out of place, and then two people he knew more than well enough.
Hermione's parents looked at him with anger in their eyes, Harry and Ron did do. Snape stopped in his tracks, and did the only thing he could, yell.
"How dare you! Kick her out! Leave her alone in the world! You should die right alongside me! You are poor excuses for parents and friends. Don't cry you dumb bitch - you put her out into a world where a nameless Muggle could as easily murdered her. At least with me she was cared for, and I loved her until her last breath, and I still do this day! I would rather see her dead instead of the Hell you have created for her in her-own-home, or out on the streets! And you two! Saying you were her friends?! Weasley! You dated her; you made love to her…why didn't you see what you had?! Why didn't you all see what you had made her into!? You didn't love her, none of you did! I only loved her! It was only me!" he yelled, spitting and cursing the family and friends all the way to the stake, where he was bound to it. He watched as Mr. Granger put his arms around his sobbing wife, and he watched as Harry and Ron looked guilty at the ground.
Snape looked around him at the people filing out of the courtroom to see his death, he looked around at the press, snapping pictures, and writing down articles. The people were faceless, he no longer cared. He was in something close to a dream, the one thing he had wanted for so long was about to come true, he had wanted this longer than he had wanted love, a partner, a mother, he has wanted Death since he could speak the word. He barely listened to the executor read the last statement, but instead, he focused on something crawling on the ground.
A spider, crawling towards him, looking towards him. Snape could have sworn to see fine thread come from the creature, and wrap around his foot, preparing, waiting for his death. The fires were ablaze around him, and a sudden thought wrapped in his mind. The Great Angel! Where was she!? Where was her Protection? After all, he was dying for her, so he wouldn't let her secret out into the open. The fire licked his clothes, and he felt his skin start to char, the pain unbearable, and he looked through hazed eyes for the Angel, the one that brought him so much love.
But she wasn't there. She wasn't there! He felt the fire engulf him, he felt it burn past his skin, and a vision of a smiling Hermione came into his mind, but pain washed it out before it could bring any source of relief. And then he heard a voice, a voice so far away, but he recognized it as the Great Crystal Angel's, her voice was no longer sweet and comforting, it no longer cradled his bruised body in it's tone, but it was cold and mocking, laughing at this pain, laughing at his stupidity to trust such a thing like her.
"Surely…" she laughed into his burning skull; "surely you wouldn't think I'd come to you and protect you when I no longer needed you? You are such a stupid boy, Severus, to trust a drug as me, to trust someone like me. Severus Snape, tsk tsk, I no longer care about you, I no longer want you." she laughed a cold laugh. And Snape, somehow through the pain he was feeling, saw her meaning. And he cried, tied to the pole, his tears vaporizing as soon as they were formed, he cried, he was alone. And as the darkness spread across his burning vision - this time for good - he was alone in his pain, and not even the face of Hermione saved him.
Well? Sad, I know, I guess the moral of the story is not to go out and run to drugs to solve your problems. ::shrugs:: Sorry if I severely depressed anyone in the reading of this story. And now, for the lyrics I promised. They're not *exactly* in tune with the story, but, I figured it would be something that would run through Snape's mind, I don't know. You don't have to read them, but here they are:
X "Crystal Ship" The X-Files: The Album
Before you slip into unconsciousness
I'd like to have another kiss
Another flashing chance at bliss
Another kiss, another kiss
The days are bright and filled with pain
Enclose me in your gentle rain
The time we ran was too insane
We'll meet again; we'll meet again
Oh, tell me where your freedom lies
The streets are fields that never die
Deliver me from reasons why
You'd rather die; I'd rather fly
The crystal ship is being filled
A thousand girls, a thousand thrills
A million ways to spend your time
When we get back, I'll drop a line