A/N: Okay, writing a song parody is hard enough, but it's even harder when you're listening to another song at the same time, and that song is in another language! (I'm listening to Heartplace by Ayumi Hamasaki, I love that girl, her songs are superb!) Anywho, it's about time I did another oneshot and dedicate it to Jak/Keira fans since most of my works are Daxter-centric.

Ne, this is also in the timeline of Secrets of the White Eco, cuz I needed to have more characters to make fun of poor Jak. If you've not read it, you don't have to read it to get this, because whatever I put in here should be self-explanitory to an extent.

Well, to be more specific. This takes place between Secrets and its sequel. So if you're a follower of the story, you might be able to pick up on what happens after it ends. Hopefully, I won't be doing any spoilers. And any characters you may recognize from other stories...well..they just wandered in. Yeah.

Disclaimer: I own neither J&D nor the song. I'm southern but I'm not THAT bad. I don't own a tractor! Or a zoomer, sadly enough. I also don't own anybody but Zoi and Tai. So any other characters that show up belong to other authors or the Naughty Dog Co. Ya'll don't kill me for using 'em alright?

-

She Thinks My Zoomer's Sexy

Song Parody

-

Jak gaped at the table before him. Daxter, in return just grinned widely. "I win, buddy. Pay up."

Jak opened his mouth to protest but fuzzy ottsel in front of him wagged a finger. "Nuh uh uh, Jakkie boy, you know I won fair and square. Now I get to choose my winnings."

Jak slumped in his chair. He glared at the checkers board, wondering how the heck Daxter had beat him. Daxter NEVER won!

He was suddenly very anxious to know what Daxter wanted as his prize.

"Oh! I know! This is PERFECT revenge for all those times you've won or made fun of me!"

Jak paled visibly. What in the WORLD was he planning?

Daxter rubbed his furry paws together and spoke his masterful plan. "You have to sing tomorrow at the Rock Village Town Fair."

"WHAT?" Jak stuttered, possibly that was the first word that came out of the boy's mouth that day.

Daxter grinned wryly. "Even if it'll hurt my ears, it'll be oh-so worth it."

"What makes you think I'm gonna agree to do that?"

Daxter fingered the amulet around his neck before replying, "Because you never back down a challenge or say no to someone when they earned it."

Jak slumped in defeat. This couldn't get any worse.

"Guess I should go tell everyone that they're coming tomorrow to hear a guest performance," Daxter snickered, ignoring the murderous glare the other boy was sending him. "I know Keira is going to LOVE this!"

"I could kill you."

"Yeah, you could. But, then you'd have to put up with my ghost haunting you for the rest of your life. Now, let's go find the others."

-

Tai sat on his workbench, working very hard at his project. Despite having lost his sight in one of his eyes, he was just as efficient as ever. Scratching behind his ear, he studied his material before him.

"Oi! Talk, dark and lacking in handsome! What'cha up to?"

Tai ignored the playful insult from his fuzzy friend and replied, "Working on my sculpture."

"Cool! I didn't know you modelled clay!" Daxter exclaimed as he and Jak entered the cave behind the Sentinel waterfall.

"Psh. Who said anything about clay? I use mashed potatoes."

Jak and Daxter exchanged brief looks of oddity before nodding slowly. "Right. So, ah. You free tomorrow?"

"No, I'm going to the Rock Village Festival. I'm really looking forward to seeing the play "Fred meets the Lurker Shark."

"Oh, well, that's great then! I was gonna ask you if you could come to see-" Daxter struggled not to laugh as Jak glared at him. "A, uhm, see a..oh, yeah. See a performance put on by a friend of mine."

"Oh, sure! Cool!"

Daxter grinned triumphantly as Jak signed in defeat.

"Uh, you guys want some mashed potatoes? I'm done with my sculpture of Yaccowzilla!"

...Oddity. Not a strong enough word.

-

"So, where're Keira and Zoi?" Daxter inquired as he and Jak exited Tai's cave.

Jak sighed, knowing Daxter would just give him more trouble if he didn't help. Seeking out Zoi's psyche, he pinpointed her aura on Geyser Rock. Pointing towards the small isle, he and Daxter headed for the teleport gate.

They exited the gate to a quite pleasant scene for both of them. Both Zoi and Keira were dancing. Keira had her stereo (AN: *shrugs* Maybe they had stereos back then?) and both girls were wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirts, bare-footed on the grass.

Jak raised his brows in approval, momentarily forgetting what Daxter had suckered him into and Daxter was leaving a puddle of drool at Jak's feet.

Jak then remembered his predicament when Daxter whispered, "Why don't you have them be your backup dancers?"

Zoi and Keira's dancing duet was put to a halt when an orange ottsel flew by them and embeded himself into a tree, curteousy of a certain blonde boy.

Keira laughed but continued to dance, much to Jak's appreciation as his eyes lingered on the gentle sway of her hips, how the fabric of her shorts hung loosely on her curves, giving him a generous glimpse of her torso.

Zoi climbed up the tree and detangled Daxter out of it, hoping back down. Daxter shook himself out of his leafy daze and growled, letting the powers of the amulet take over and turn him into his boyish self.

Zoi, not expecting the added on weight, dropped him. "Sorry, Little One!"

Keira laughed yet again and made her way to Jak, keeping in the beat of the song. "So, what brings you boys over here?" She asked over the music, taking Jak's hands, much larger than her own and pulled him to her 'dancing area.'

Jak's face resembled an apple (the red kind) as Keira made him dance with her. Daxter answered her question as he picked himself up off the ground. "Are you two coming to the festival tomorrow? Cuz we got a surprise for ya. It'll be a real knockout."

Jak knew the real knockout would be when his fist connected with Daxter's face afterwards.

"Sure, we're coming!" Keira stated, twirling under Jak's arm as Zoi nodded in agreement. "We wouldn't miss it, Keira and I are helping set up."

"Oh, even better," Daxter murmured, grinning a very cheshire cat-like grin.

Jak whimpered.

-

Jak looked out at the crowd gathered in the Rock Village Town Center. He closed his eyes and prayed it was a dream. When he opened his eyes, there were even more people there. "Oh, man..."

Tai was setting up his booth of Mashed Potato Sculptures and grinned with delight as people stopped to look at them. Even with his eyepatch, his happy attitude didn't make him much of a pirate-looking person.

Samos had his own stand of rare and exotic ferns, some of which, tried to eat Tai's sculptures. Eventually, the two booths had to be moved further apart.

The Gambler had a betting stand set up, with numerous gambling games to be played. Beside him, the Hero was telling stories to the children, most of which, had fell asleep or ran back to their parents screaming.

Keira had a bunch of balloons in one hand, and a box of candy in the other, walking around and giving it out to the children. Zoi had taken charge of selling cotton candy, but she had to restrain herself from eating it all.

The Rock Village Life Guards were present as helpers and Daxter couldn't help but notice one with pink hair kept throwing flirtatious glances towards him. And he was in OTTSEL form.

The Red Sage and his daughter and son were also there. 'Sheaira and John is what Keira said their names were,' Daxter thought as he sat on the stage. John was chatting with Tai about his sculptures and Sheaira had attacked the cotton candy stand.

There were also many actors and actresses for when the plays began. There was a red-haired girl dressed as a princess with wings and beside her another girl whose outfit looked like it was made out of flowers.

Daxter rolled his eyes and just wished for the stage shows to start.

He didn't have to wait long.

The Blue Sage came onto the stage and grabbed the megaphone. "Ah..em, hello, everyone. Can you all please take a seat? Our showings are about to begin. Yes, yes, thank you.

As all filed into the rows of benches set out before the stage, Jak glared at Daxter behind the curtains. Daxter was doing his best not to laugh outloud. Jak was first.

"And look, Jak," Daxter whispered. "Zoi, Tai, Big Green AND Keira are in the front row!"

"You are SO dead." Jak hissed back.

"Our first performer is...well, well! None other than our reknown hero, Jak!"

A murmur started up from the audience as clapping began as well.

Samos, Keira, Zoi and Tai looked back and before between each other. "Is he serious?" Keira asked, stealing some of Zoi's cotton candy.

"Do sages lie?" Zoi asked, taking some of Keira's candy as a fair trade.

"I dunno. My mashed potato hat is starting to goop, though..." Tai muttered.

Just then an ottsel climbed up between Zoi and Tai. "Oh, yes. It's Jak alright. This is what I get for winning our checkers match."

"Should we be running for the hills?" Samos asked dryly, petting one of his ferns, which was on a leash.

"I dunno. I just know he's singing." Daxter replied.

"SINGING?" Zoi and Keira screeched. The boy could barely form sentences. How the heck was he gonna sing a whole song?

Suddenly the clapping died down as a blonde head poked out behind the curtains. Jak meekly stepped out on the stage and shuffled his feet. Waiting for the Yellow Sage to start the music, he glared daggers at his so-called 'friend'.

"Knock'em dead, Jak!" A woman yelled out, who resembled the Gambler a lot.

The sculptor and his muse, which Jak had found out was named, "Tabby", whooted, "Show us what you got!"

Jak tried not to cry.

Then...the music started.

And..he opened his mouth.

"Plower through Lurkers in the hot Fire canyon
Over by the teleporter, lordy here she comes
With a belt of tools and a big pack of power cells
I shove off my 'friend' and she climbs on up
Open up the throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain't a foolin' me

She thinks my zoomer's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm zoomin' along
She likes the way it's hovering when I'm crossing the lava tube
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my lack of speech
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my zoomer's sexy"

Daxter and Tai were slumped against each other, laughing hard. Samos was shaking his head while his fern tried to get away and Zoi and Keira stared at the blonde with their mouths hanging open. The rest of the crowd was cheering him on.

"We ride back and forth until we run out of light
Take it to the workshop put it up for the night
Climb up in the hut sit and talk with the teleporter gate on
She said she's got a dream and I ask her what it is
She wants to deflea the ottsel and feed him to the kids
One more teeny weeny ride before I head on home."

Daxter realized that 'the ottsel' line was an insult. "HEY!"

"She thinks my zoomer's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm zoomin' along
She likes the way it's hovering when I'm crossing the lava tube
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my lack of speech
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my zoomer's sexy

Well she ain't into mine carts or flut fluts
But if it's got a heat-shield man her eyes light up

She thinks my zoomer's...

She thinks my zoomer's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm zoomin' along
She likes the way it's hovering when I'm crossing the lava tube
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my lack of speech
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my zoomer's sexy"

She thinks my zoomer's sexy
She thinks my zoomer's sexy"

The song ended and Jak was shocked to have a standing ovation. Even Tai, Samos and Zoi were clapping. Daxter was huffing and folding his arms but Keira was smiling up at him with a knowing look. He grinned sheepishly and ran off-stage.

As he was coming off of his 'stage high' he turned to see Keira beside him. "You know, Jak..."

Jak looked over at her, waiting for her to bless him out for the lyrics of the song. He couldn't help what the song said!

"I don't think your zoomer is sexy."

Ouch. Jak frowned.

"I think you are.

Jak wondered where that frown went as he turned to Keira. She smiled up at him. "Except when you've got Daxter attached to your shoulder."

Jak grinned and pulled Keira forward, her face inches from his. He licked his lips before pressing them to Keira's. What started out as a chaste, shy kiss turned into a passionate attack as Jak slanted his lips to pull deeper into their moment. Keira reached up and threaded her fingers into his hair, sucking on Jak's bottom lip playfully.

That is, until an "ahem" interrupted their pleasant moment. Zoi, Tai and Daxter stood there, each with their own expression. Tai was muttering about his mashed potato hat as it slumped to one side, Zoi had her arms folded, a small smirk playing on her lips. Daxter, was grinning from ear to ear.

Jak rolled his eyes and pulled a cord, dropping a curtain down to give him and Keira some privacy.

Daxter looked up at Tai. "So, do you think I should tell him about that checkers cheat you showed me?" Tai shook his head.

There was a moment of silence before the curtain ripped open and Jak glared at Daxter, steam emitting from his ears. "Checkers cheat?"

Daxter gulped.

And, since this is PG, I'll stop here.

-

A/N: This is what I worked on until a quarter to 7 AM. Yeah, I was up all night. O.o;;; Reviews would be much appreciated. And hopefully this wasn't too bad..I know a lot of fics lack...*waves hand for appropriate word* beauty? I dunno. They just suck. :P

More song parodies to come, most likely. Might make it a series or something. O_o... Yeah so..yay! Jak/Keira fluff! ...And..singing. Err..yeah.

**Ignore the grammar, I do*

Phoe-chan. ^_~