By: Enkidu

I couldn't think of a title so I just named it after the song I happened to be listening to at the moment...Anywho...this is in response to all of those who reviewed my last story on evil chat rooms and said i should write a story on two boys in drag...so here ya go. Yami Bakura: Bakura and the other Bakura is Ryou. And regular Malik is Malik...his Yami doesn't appear.

Warnings: Yaoi. Bad Language. Weird Crap. Major OOC Enjoy!

/thoughts/

(comments)

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Chapter 1: The Bet

It all started out as a normal day at Isis's apartment. Well...as normal as things could get in Isis's apartment, which isn't very normal at all. Malik was pleasantly slumbering and dreaming about his favorite white-haired demon when a snake (yes, a snake) slithered it's way up Malik's chest and started to slowly rap around his-

"Aah!" Malik screamed before the snake could get anywhere...um...vital. "What the hell? Fluffy?" The Egyptian boy stared down as the snake guiltily looked up at him with it's little beady snake eyes.

"What happened?" Isis asked in a frenzy as she burst into her younger brother's room.

"Oh, Fluffy was just trying to kill me in my sleep again," Malik said with an eerie smile as he pet his snake.

"I see..." Isis commented before walking out of the room. /Why the hell did I allow him to keep a pet snake!?!/

Malik sighed amusedly before putting Fluffy on his desk and getting up to get dressed. He put on his usual outfit and jewelry before walking briskly out of his room. He entered the kitchen and found his older sister pouring milk into a bowl of froot loops.

Malik sat down and started to dig into his own bowl of froot loops. "Mmm...froot loops! The breakfast of psychos!"

"Um...Malik...don't get angry, but I have something to tell you..."Isis began worriedly.

Malik looked up at his sister with wide eyes. /Oh crap. She found the photos, and now she's going to send me to therapy.../ "They're not mine! I swear!" Malik yelled all of the sudden. "I stole them from Kaiba!"

"What are you talking about?" Isis asked confusedly.

"The photos!"

"What photos?"

"Um...never mind. What were you going to say?"

"I was just going to tell you that I sort of...um...dented your motorcycle while I was pulling into the parking lot," Isis said nervously.

"Oh..." and then Malik prompty fainted...and some photos just happened to slip out of his pocket.

Isis bent down to pick them up. In closer examination, she found interesting pictures of a drunken Kaiba and a drunken Pegasus dressed as Disney characters in VERY interesting poses...

"Oh my," she said as she blushed several strange colors.

All of the sudden, Malik came to. He saw Isis staring at the pictures and gave a girly shriek before ripping them from his sister's hands.

"This is precious black mail!" He spat out as he tucked the photos away into some unknown place on his pants, which is baffling considering how tight he wears his pants, thus giving it little to no room to hide crap in.

"Now...about my bike! While I was passed out, I came up with a definitive punishment. Now, my initial reaction was to kill you. But, I realized you pay the bills, so that's a no-no. So, I have decided that I should give you the difficult task of...(pum pum pum)...what the hell was I talking about again?" Malik scratched the back of his head as he realized years of taking his own home grown drugs has rendered him with what doctors have deemed 'a pretty fucked up head'. "Oh, yes! I remember. I must clean Fluffy's litter box. Excuse me."

Isis just shrugged as her brother walked out of the room and set out to some impossible quest to find a litter box that doesn't exist.

2 Hours later...

Malik and Bakura were sitting on the couch flipping aimlessly through channels on the t.v.

"So what do you want to do?" Bakura asked as he stared boredly at the t.v.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked just as bored and restless.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Bakura asked back.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked in response.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Bakura asked back.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked in response.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Bakura asked back.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked in response.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Bakura asked back.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked in response.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Bakura asked back.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked in response.

And so on...and so on. After 1 hour of this crap, Bakura finally hit Malik over the head with the t.v. guide, and they both began to bicker like two old ladies fighting for the last tube of denture cream at the super market. And, after 1 hour of THAT, they both just decided to go the bar and get drunk.

Malik took another sip of his Corona Extra, while Bakura once again hummed the theme song to "The Jeffersons".

"You know what?" Malik asked in a slightly buzzed tone.

"I can put both my feet behind my head?" Bakura asked in an even more drunken manner.

Malik just drooled and smiled. "That's cool...But that's not it. I'm still bored!"

"So what do you want to do?" Bakura asked dumbly.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked in response.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Bakura asked again.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Malik asked in return.

Bakura just growled and smacked Malik over the head with a rolled up t.v. guide, which he produced from god-knows-where.

Then, Malik perked up all of the sudden and formed a wicked smile. "I know what we can do!"

"What?" Bakura asked mildly amused as he played with a random knife.

"We can...go back to my place...and I'll show you my pet snake."

"I don't want to play with Fluffy now! He likes to bite me. I hate that thing!" Bakura remarked.

Malik just moved closer to the shorter boy and whispered in his ear,"I wasn't talking about Fluffy."

Bakura growled low in his throat. "Damnit! You got another stupid snake! Damn you! You and your stupid obsessions! I don't want to see your other damn snake."

Malik slapped his hand to his forehead and groaned. /I've spent weeks and weeks hitting on the idiot, and he STILL doesn't get the damn idea. What do I have to do? Paste a giant sign that sais 'fuck me' on my forehead?/

"Malik, I'm still bored. Can I perform open heart surgery on you?" Bakura asked with a very unnerving look on his face as he held up his knife and licked his lips greedily.

"Um...maybe later..." Malik answered, deciding to a move a few inches away from the white-haired boy.

Just then, their prayers were answered...well, sort of. Yugi, Joey, and Honda decided to enter at that moment. They were all dressed in their uniforms and had some sort of look on their face only seen on confused sheep.

"Gees, it smells like tinkle!" Joey commented as the smell of tinkle pervaded his nostrils.

"No, it smells more like ass," Honda said in response to Joey's observation.

"No, it's tinkle!" Joey said while glaring at Honda.

"No, it's ass!"

"Tinkle!"

"Ass!"

"Tinkle!"

"Ass!"

"Tinkle!"

"Ass!"

Malik and Bakura looked up as the two boy's argument began to get heated. Honda and Joey were about two seconds away from punching each other, when Bakura smiled signifying he was having evil thoughts...either that, or he was just thinking naughty things about his partner. Either way, he pulled Malik close to him making the other yelp in surprise.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Bakura asked evilly.

Malik thought for a moment. /Is he thinking about sex? Am I thinking about sex? Sex would be nice! I hope he's thinking about sex! Gees, I want some sex. Sex is good. How about sex?/

"Well?" Bakura asked impatiently snapping the Egyptian out of his thoughts.

"Uh...I don't know. What are you thinking about?"

"Let's have some fun," Bakura answered with an evil giggle. (yes, giggle.)

"Now you're talking!" Malik responded with a smile.

"Alright. So you agree we should torture those losers."

"Torture?" Malik asked in confusion. /But what about the sex!?!/

"Yes. Let's torture them. I'll bring my knife. You just bring yourself!" Then Bakura skipped (yes, skipped) to where the three boys were arguing.

"Hi, boys," Bakura greeted in a decidedly very eerie voice.

All three boys turned around simultaneously to look at the demented tomb robber who was holding a knife. The immediate reaction was to run, but they didn't because if they did, then I'd have no story.

"You have nothing to fear. I just want to play doctor with you," Bakura said in some odd attempt to calm them down.

Joey gulped and stepped a bit forward. "Well, I would really love to play with you, but...uh...me and Honda have to ...um...practice...for ...our pool tournament! Yes, that's it. We could be district champions this year!"

"Yea," Honda added.

"Oh, that's too bad,"Bakura began to turn around and walk away.

"Hehe. It worked Joey! Those two losers would never play pool. There too big of wimps to ever kick our ass. They probably run home to their mommies at the sight of a pool cube!"

"Honda, cut that out," Yugi exclaimed, trying to prevent Honda from sticking his foot any further into his mouth.

"And another thing! You two are sissies!"

This immediately caused a chain of reactions. Malik's eyes widened, and he took out his Millenium Rod, making sure to extend the blade. Bakura turned around immediately and growled.

"Yeah. You heard us!" Joey threatened.

Malik eyes flashed eerily red in anger as he stalked slowly to the two laughing boys. "So, you think you could beat us at pool?" he asked in a very low voice.

"My granny could beat you two at pool," Honda said with a grin.

Malik just stood still and crossed his arms. "Why don't we play a little game and prove who the really, as you put it, sissies are?"

Joey and Honda stopped laughing and looked up at the Egyptian. "Um...you wanna play a game with us?" Joey asked a bit worried.

"Yeah. I'm bored, so I might as well kick your ass," Malik said with a grin.

"What makes you think you can kick our ass!?! We'll take you on any day!" Honda spat out.

"Fine. How about right here, right now. You two against us two," Malik challenged.

Bakura's eyes widened, and he neared Malik.

"Fine!" Joey and Honda said in unison.

"Why don't we make this game a little more interesting with a wager?" Malik asked while giving his most vicious smile, causing the other two boys to gulp.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Yugi warned.

"Don't worry, Yugi. Me and Honda got this game in the bag. We'll take ya on your wager," Joey said with a triumphant grin.

"Alright. If me and Bakura win, we get to torture you for 1 day straight," Malik smiled.

Honda and Joey turned their backs to the other two and got into a whispered discussion. After 2 minutes, they turned around, and Honda walked forward.

"Okay. If we win, you and Bakura have to..."Honda paused for dramatic effect.

"Just say it!" Everyone yelled in annoyance.

"Okay okay! You and Bakura have to dress up like girls and stay like that for 1 whole day," Honda said ominously.

Malik smiled, and Bakura became very nervous. "What!?!" Bakura said increduously.

"Deal." Malik held out his hand and shook it with Honda's.

"Why did you take that bet!?! I'm not going to dress as a fucking woman! Are you crazy!?!"

"Bakura, you should know by now that I am crazy. Very crazy. Anyways, we could win this bet. I used to play pool all the time. I could defeat them with my eyes closed. Besides, you know how to play pool, right?"

Bakura shifted his eyes a bit and looked strangely nervous. "...yes."

"Then, there's nothing to worry about," Malik said as he patted the shorter boy's shoulder.

"Alright."

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Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I enjoyed writing it. Anywho, if I get enough reviews I might cotinue it. Plz review!!!!!!