Here is Chapter Three for you. And I have taken the privelege of getting a character to read you the disclaimers. Onward, Twin #1!

Twin #1: in highly cultured, sophisticated voice Rage Aomori does not claim ownership of the Matrix or anything related to it. All rights and properties belong to Larry and Andy Wachowski.

Reika: struggles against chains madly WAI!! BISHOUNEN!! MINE! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!

Twin #2: glares Says who? pouts

Twin #1: hugs #2 We'll kill them all later. Don't worry.

Twin #2:

Reika: OO evaporates from all the fluffy, Twinnish goodness

Erm... Well now. Let's get a move on, shall we?

Extreme OOCness galore. Character bashings, idiocy, some gore, the destruction of pies and expensive hair-dos... the usual. As I said. Spoilers. Do be warned.

 Chapter Three.

Noon was just slightly passed. The sun still broiled in the sky, still cooked the people below like cotton and polyester wrapped sausages in sandals and sunblock. The sky was as blue as moldy cheese, and in the heart of such a city, smelled much like one too. The clouds floated ahead, teasingly, little puffs of white, pointing their poofy, fat little cloud fingers at the poor, sweating mass below them. They pointed and betted on the swarm of black that was mobbed about in a small, fenced in park, on the lone, dark-clad figure screaming at them from the center of the mob. They laughed at the expression of sheer horror, anger, and hunger on the poor man's face.

Neo: falls to knees WHY ME?

Smiths: blink

Neo: What did I do to deserve this? WHAT DID I DO?

Smith: Theorhetically, you killed us... or think you did.

Neo: blinks I did, didn't I?

Smith 1: You did.

Smith 2: You think you did.

Smith 3: You'll be wishing you did.

Neo: Will you please stop with that? I'm getting a headache trying to see which one said what.

Smith: Stop what?

Smiths: Stop what?

Neo: That!

Smith 4: What?

Smith 5: Which one?

Smith 6: That?

Neo: CUT IT OUT!

Smiths: Cut what out?

Neo: puffs up like a toad that swallowed a helium balloon glares

Smiths: smile

Smith: sticks hand into Neo's chest Be one of us.

Neo: OO AGH! overcome by slimyish black stuff

Smiths: smile

Neo: black stuff disappears HA!

Smiths: frown

Smith: You're going down... tackles

Neo: Oo dodges

Smiths 1-4: begin attacking

Neo: Dammit. Why me...?

MEANWHILE, on the Nebuchadezzar...

Morpheus: peeks into Trinity's room Um...?

Trinity: crouched on the floor beside the bunk

Morpheus: Trin...? blinks

Trinity: removes camoflage plate from floor begins punching in combination to lock

Morpheus: assumes 'spy mode'

Trinity: opens lock to reveal... The Underwear Drawer

Morpheus: freezes utterly

Trinity: starts rifling through The Underwear Drawer Dammit... you better not have taken it Neo... I'll use your hide as my underwear...

Morpheus: passes out from panty overload

Trinity: Ha! He didn't get it! My lovely... pulls out pair of poofy white undies

Link: from the front Trinity! Morpheus!

Trinity: Coming! locks up drawer pockets undies I'd better change the combination soon... opens door vigorously steps on Morpheus

Morpheus: gets hit by door Ow. stepped on Double Ow.

Trinity: Don't think I didn't hear you at the door earlier...

Morpheus:

Five minutes Later...

Morpheus: with footprint on face What is it?

Link: blinks stares Er... there... points at screen Buncha Smiths ganged up on Neo...

Trinity: Dammit! How'd he do that?

Morpheus: Smith? I thought he was dead?

Link: Whole lot of 'im...

Trinity: How does he do that?

Morpheus: Neo's doing well...

Link: Good fighter, yep...

Trinity: How does he DO that? envious I wanna multiply!

Morpheus: has a sudden coughing fit

Link: whistles loudly

Trinity: looks from one to the other What?

Both: Nothing!

Trinity: Damn right it better be nothing...

Both: '

In the Matrix...

Neo: Dammit! OW! THAT WAS MY HEAD!

Smith 2: notices foot print on Neo's back None of us...

Smith 3: Made that...

Neo: blinks I got stepped on.

Smiths: snicker resume attacking

Neo: Aaaaagh...

Several minutes later...

Neo: How many of you ARE there? looks around in disbelief

If anyone had bothered to look into the little excuse for a city park, they would have been faced with a mass of black suited men. And a very disgruntled looking man in the very center of the roiling, hostile mob.

Neo: sighs in exasperation Shoulda punched him when I saw him...

Smiths: smile evilly begin attacking

Several MORE minutes later...

Neo: now swatting back the many Smiths with a metal bar This feels surprisingly good...

Smith 7: gets hit in the midriff OO

Smith 21: gets blasted out of the park entirely

Neo: I think I'm having fun...

Even MORE minutes later...

Neo: getting swarmed by Smiths AIIIIEEEE!!

Smith 3: Dogpile!

Smith: There's no escaping us.

Smith 36: No escaping.

Smith 71: We destroyed you once, we can do it again.

Neo: You're getting wrinkles in my coat...

Smiths: chuckle darkly

Neo: That's it! I've had enough! Stands up. Smiths fly in all directions

Smith: Get back here!

Neo: Toodles! flies out Superman style

Smiths: blink look around meander off

Neo: manages to get lost in cloud Dammit!

Back on the Nebuchadezzar...

Trinity: Wow. So many Smiths... it hurt the eyes...

Morpheus: There was a lot.

Neo: He's like a dandelion! One minute, there's just one! One harmless little dandelion! The next minute, there's a whole frickin' feild of 'em! He's a dandelion! A DANDELION! He's a friggin' DANDELION!! begins to hyperventilate

Trinity: Geez! Calm down! He's in the Matrix, and you're not. pats Neo on the back It's all right. in a voice usually used with babies, very small children, and the sanity deprived He's not going to get you now. you're safe. Don't worry. And besides. Dandelions can be stepped on, can't they?

Neo: begins to calm down Yeah... Yeah! That's right! Dandelions can be stepped on! And burnt... and wilted... And... goes on about the things that can be done to and with dandelions

Morpheus: ... Right. And, you know what? We should find the Oracle now...

Link: from kitchen Dinners ready! rings bell

Trinity: Great! Glop! Let's go!

MEANWHILE, in the Matrix, in the posh restaurant thingie..

Merovingian: What is causing that INFERNAL giggling? glares at ceiling

Persephone: now ducked under an umbrella Can't nail me now. Can't nail me now...  mutters madly My poor hair-do...

Twins: snicker in remembrance resume the torturing of a new Henchman

Henchman 5: OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYY!! MERCY!! I SAID MERCY, DAMMIT!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Henchmen: on the other side of the room wince in sympathy and clutch at limbs in sympathetic pain

Twin #1: chuckles evilly

Twin #2: smiles in a dangerously cheerful sort of way

Henchman 5: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! O

Merovingian: QUIET, DAMMIT!!

Henchman 5: AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII-- screaming cuts off abruptly

Henchmen: wince simultaneously

Henchman 1: Oohh... turns slightly green

Henchman 2: Nasty!

Henchman 3: Glad it's not me...

Henchwoman: winces chews on handkerchief Poor guy...

Henchman 2: Well, technically, he's not a 'guy' anymore now...

All Males except the Twins: wince

Twins: chuckle evilly

Henchman 5: X twitches madly

Other People in Restaurant: wince , push away food, and dash off to the bathroom holding mouths

Twins:

Voice from Vents: giggles madly

Merovingian: glares at ceiling What IS up there?

Persephone: crouches under umbrella looks about nervously

Twin #1: licking hand clean of very suspicious, red liquid Hm?

Twin #2: poking at Henchman 5's madly twitching body Sounds like giggling... pokes some more snickers

Merovingian: sarcastically How observant... Can't you two do that somewhere else? We're losing business here...

Twin #1: glares Do not insult us.

Twin #2: continues to poke Henchman 5

Merovingian: Er... okay... edges away cautiously

MEANWHILE, at the building entrance...

Morpheus: That was a quick dinner...

Trinity: slightly green

Neo: hums innocently

Morpheus: Well... let us move on! points upwards and marches into the building

Trinity&Neo: follow

Trinity: I don't feel so good...

Neo: I told you now to eat so fast...

Trinity: I know... but I wanted to get  move on... and WHY am I wearing black latex?

Neo: --

A minute or so later...

Neo: Nice place... looks around

Morpheus: to waiter person thingie We're here to see the Merovingian.

Trinity: slicking hair with jar of lard hurredly

Waiter: raises eyebrow Follow me. leads them into the restaurant thingamajig

Neo: Sweet, man... looks around like a country bumpkin in a big city full o' lights So many shiny things...

Morpheus: Yeah... blinks stares shudders

Henchman 5: being carried away by Henchman 1 and 3 XX

Trinity: What happened to him? puts away lard jar and stares as well, wincing in sympathy

Neo: I don't wanna know. Don't think I'd want to meet the person who did it to 'im, though...

Merovingian: watches as Neo, Trinity and Morpheus approach rubs hands in a gleeful, evil sort of way

Persephone: still ducked under umbrella smiles in a seductively mysterious sort of way

Neo: blinks

Merovingian: I've been expecting you.

Neo: Looks like it... takes in the many scattered cards, gameboards, tic-tac-toe games, empty plates, scattered clothes, and bloody utensils blinks at that last ...

Twins: grin evilly

Morpheus: glares in Morpheus fashion

Trinity: stands around looking... cool, we suppose... and greasy, do not forget greasy

Neo: stares darkly

Merovingian: smiles and stares back

Five Minutes Later...

Neo: stares darkly

Merovingian: Can we get a move on now? has a tic going on forehead

Neo: continues to stare darkly and blankly

Trinity: Neo?

Persephone: Is he even there?

Morpheus: pokes Neo

Neo: begins to snore

All: fall over anime-style

Merovingian: climbs to feet THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR A NAP! starts babbling obviously rude words in French

Persephone, Henchmen, Twins, Virtually anyone who can understand French: flinch, wince, shake heads, and (in the Twins' case) laugh

Trinity: NEO! slaps him upside the head

Neo: O OWIE! resumes snoring

All: stare in blank silence

Merovingian: He can't be the One... can he?

Twins: Busy attempting to help each other off the floor, which is a bit of a chore, since their laughter seems to have robbed them of all function in the legs

Henchmen: inch farther away from the Twins

Morpheus: sighs dangles bit of poofy, white fabric in front of Neo's face

Neo: snorts suddenly blinks awake snatches white poofy thing

Trinity: Hey... Is that my underwear?

Morpheus: Erm... nooooooo... scuttles crab-like towards the Henchmen

Neo: nuzzling white poofy thing, which unfortunately happen to be Trinity's panties

Trinity: AGH! YOU PERVERT! THOSE ARE MINE! tackles Neo a la Football-style

Neo: OO NOOOOOOOO!! MY WHITE POOFY PANTIES!! tackled

Twins: rolling about on the floor, roaring with laughter

Henchmen: holding each other up, laughing madly

Merovingian: stares in utter blank disbelief

Persephone: humming, staring at ceiling, determined to keep a relatively straight face

Trinity: GIVE 'EM BACK!!

Neo: NOOOOO!! MINE! MY PANTIES! THEY'RE MINE!

Morpheus: banging head against wall

Twins: trying, TRYING, mind you, to control mad, virtually uncontrollable laughter fail utterly

In the confusion with Trinity screaming for Neo to give her back her coveted panties (somehow nabbed by ol' Morphy) whilst strangling the bloody daylights out of Neo (still madly clutching the panties), nobody seems to hear the not-so-faintly insane giggling coming from the vents, nor the rapid gunfire and explosions coming from several floors below. In all the confusion, where those who haven't left are either busy watching the spectacle or laughing like loons (like the Twins), nobody seems to notice a panel in the ceiling slide open and a pink rope drop out from it, nor the restaurant doors opening to admit a very dishevelled, very smokey-looking young man accompanied by a person with a pumpkin head.

Trinity: GIMME!

Neo: NO!

Morpheus: has now bashed a considerable hole in the wall with head

Merovingian: Persephone, dear? What say you to a nice, long, vacation?

Persephone: I say yes. Leave them behind though. nods at Twins, who are busy laughing madly

Trinity: GIMME!

Neo: in a very strangled voice NO! M-MY P-PANTIES!

You're all going to bash me, aren't you? Yes, this is it for the chapter. Long, ain't it?

I'm afraid this may be all you'll be getting for a while. Summer is here and it's vacation time.

I'd do the reviewers thingie, but I've no time.   Sorry. Forgive me! 

Thanks to all who reviewed! I THANK YOU!

I will be very happy if you were review this one too. Very happy indeed. I may put more Twin time in. chuckles evilly

Twin 1: We didn't get enough air-time...

Twin 2: We want more...

Twins: Now.

' Ooookaaay... Well, until next time.

Ja ne