:: Lose Yourself ::

Kingdom Hearts

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts; rights go to Squaresoft and Disney. The plot is somewhat based off the book called The Voice in the Night by Dean Koontz.

Rating: R

Pairings: Riku/Sora, hinted Tidus+Kairi

Warnings: AU, suspense, horror, yaoi, adult situations, blood, murder, character death, language, multiple freaky things

Notes: I'm sorry for the delay; this was the only part I didn't have written ahead of time, and it honestly had me stuck. But... somehow I was inspired, and I've managed to wrap this fic up. It's not worth the wait, I'm afraid... but I honestly did try.

*sweatdrop* Also, this is the only chapter that hasn't been beta-ed, so I apologize for any typos. ^^;

Epilogue

The sky seemed to bleed when the sun set. The reds and oranges and violets weren't colours of flowers or beautiful pastels- they were all different shades of blood. The thought made Sora shiver.

He walked across the beach, listening to the sound of sand crunch softly beneath his shoes. It had been three days... and since then he'd slipped into a sort of numbness.

Riku assured him he would be "perfectly fine" in no time.

Sora didn't know what to think about anything anymore...

His feet took him to the dock. He stood still for a long time, staring at the back of Selphie's head. She seemed to sense his presence, because she said without turning, "It's pretty."

Sora said nothing.

"The sunset, I mean," she continued, finally turning her head to look at him. Tears were in her eyes, old stains trailing down her cheeks. She quickly wiped at them, trying to smile. "Don't you think so, Sora? Like a pretty painting?"

"Sure," he lied.

"Yeah." Selphie nodded, trying to reassure herself. "Yeah..."

Sora took a step back, and when she didn't move he hurried off the dock.

The wind carried the heavy scent of salt. It was a bit humid; heavy; laden with moisture... Sora found it odd that he could breathe easily despite all that.

He found himself pushing the door open to the shack, climbing up the stairs. The boards creaked beneath his feet, shrieking in agony, as though he were killing them, too. Sora ignored it.

Pushing the second door open, he was greeted with a sight that was more night time than evening. The oranges had drained from the sky, and black was beginning to mingle with the purples.

Sora also found himself staring into bright blue eyes.

Tidus blinked, his expression burdened with sorrow. A spark of anger showed through.

"You," he said hoarsely, as though he had been crying for a long time. Sora just stared. "You..." Tidus began to tremble. "You never deserved her. You bastard."

"I know."

The sandy-haired boy clenched his fist, his eyebrows drawing down as more of his anger was portrayed. "That's all you have to say?" Tidus demanded, advancing. Sora didn't step back, allowing Tidus to shove him hard back against the closed door. "That's all you can say? After she... after Kairi..." Tidus swallowed, his breath becoming ragged. "All you can say is... I know? And run right into Riku's arms like some sort of... fucking prick?"

Sora didn't think he deserved Tidus' angry words, but he allowed the boy to throw them at him. After all, what did he know? He didn't understand anything.

"What are you going to do?" Tidus demanded. "Now that she's dead... aren't you going to be angry? Sad? Anything? Even Riku's more upset than you!"

Ah, yes, thought Sora dimly. Riku's definitely the better actor between us...

Instead, all he said was a soft, "I'm sorry."

Tidus stepped away from him, looking disgusted. He opened his mouth as though he were going to say something, paused, then shook his head and shoved Sora aside, storming down the wooden stairs of the shack.

Sora smiled faintly, the first change of expression he'd had that afternoon. When Riku found out...

Riku.

The brunette made sure his legs were steady before he crossed the bridge, stepping onto Paopu Island. He walked to the edge, glancing down at the glimmering seawater before raising his eyes back to the setting sun. It had nearly completely sunk beyond the horizon.

The blood was nearly gone, wiped clean with the cloth of darkness. Sora sighed.

It wasn't until the sun had disappeared altogether and the first few stars flickered to life that he felt the familiar strong arms embrace him from behind.

"Hi," Sora whispered.

He could picture Riku grinning. "Hey. You're out late."

"Yeah..."

Riku dropped his embrace, moving to lean against the closest palm tree. Sora followed his every movement, admiring his best friend's catlike grace.

"I saw Tidus."

"Did you, now?"

Sora nodded. "He was furious. He said I was a bastard for not showing any emotions."

The corner of Riku's mouth curled into a smile. "Funny. I see it as an improvement. That means you're not sad."

"I guess not," Sora agreed.

A chilly summertime breeze caused a wild shiver to run down the brunette's spine. He rubbed his arms, glancing out to the sea one last time. One last look before the night was over.

Riku's gloved hand came to rest on his shoulder. "Wanna sleep over at my house?"

For the second time, a smile touched Sora's face- albeit a less self-mocking, slightly happier smile than the one before. He nodded.

It was no longer as though their hands weren't bloodstained, dirtied with the vermilion of life. Rather, it was that they had simply washed the blood off and cleansed their hands, getting rid of any evidence or guilt.

In a very twisted way, it was a definite improvement.

End Notes:

Lose Yourself was my second Kingdom Hearts project, but my first (and only) finished one. This in itself is a rarity; I seem to have difficulty ending my bigger projects. Probably because I don't like seeing things come to and end...

Also probably why I tend to leave things open for sequels. ^_^;;

There are some things I want to explain about this fic, so if you have some free time, I'd really appreciate you reading this.

First off, the ending. Why did I end it this way? Why did I let evil win? There are three major reasons for that. The first is that in the book The Voice of the Night, the good guys won. After all the tension that had built up, all the suspense and trauma, it was a disappointment. The good guys always win. It's so... boring. So one reason was because I wanted it to be different from the book as much as possible. Another is because, despite what fairy tales say, evil does not always lose. Perhaps eventually, in the long run, but there is the occasion that it slips from our grasp and wins. I wanted to show that.

The final reason is simple: because it was more fun this way. ^_^

I have ideas for a sequel to this, but I wouldn't advise you hold your breath at the moment. My attention has been taken away by the twisted, evil, delightful yaoi-ness of the Saiyuki fandom. But I do have ideas, and I hope to write a sequel sometime... so keep your eyes peeled every now and then, ne?

Lastly, thank you to every single last reviewer- even the stupid flame made me giggle, even if it was for a slightly different reason from the others. To have horrified/fascinated so many people with my writing makes me a very happy D-chan.

Bai bai!