Disclaimers: You know, I won't be a fanfic writer and wouldn't call myself a fan if Yami no Matsuei was mine. . . And don't remind me of that cruel reality. T.T

Author's Notes: This is what I get for staring at the rain outside my window too much. My brain starts to get affected by it. . . like I had such a thing in the first place. ^_^!

This is utter crap. You've been warned!

Whose POV and who's being talked to. . .? It's for you to find out. Yes, I'm sadistic. *insert sound effects of a stupid neko maniacally laughing like an idiot*

Rest Assured, I Love You

The rain continues to pour down, droplets of water dripping down the windowpane as mist blurs the glass. The rain. . . it's depressing isn't it? But, it gives me time to think of many things, and among them. . . you.

I wonder. . . do you pause for a while to think of me too?

Did you ever wonder how I truly feel for you? All this time, I've been watching over you. Ever since we met, I've tried to express it. I gave you a lot of hints, and still, you don't get it. What do I have to do to make you realize? How can I make you see that you mean so much to me?

I told you that the first thing that captivated me were your stunning eyes. And, I'm sure that I already admitted more than once that I'm attracted to your beautiful features. Do you remember when we were together in Nagasaki? I confessed my love to you. However, I think you failed to hear me, because even after that, you kept your distance.

Or is it because you're still scared?

Again, aboard the Queen Camellia, I tried. But at that time, your eyes were on Tsubaki-hime. I understand that, it's because you think you're the same. You feel like you are both just broken toys. Let me tell you then. You're wrong. You are much more beautiful than her. And you are much more special.

The rain has stopped. I think I'll go out for a walk. Or. . . maybe I'll go see you.

The thought of seeing you enflames my passion again, so I drag my feet out of my room, grab my coat, and go out of my house. The sidewalk is still wet from the passing rain. I like it when the weather is like this. Dark and gloomy. . . just like what's inside of me.

On my way, I pass a few people who recognize me and smile at me. I smile back. Such naïveté. All they could see is the shallow part of me, my façade. Never did anyone ever see what lies deeper than this mask.

That wolf inside sheep's clothing.

No one ever knew the darkness within me. No one. . . but you.

Ne, let me tell you a little secret. Did you ever know, that of all those people I've hurt, you're the only one who I've shown my real self to? Not even that person, who calls himself my best friend, had seen that part of me that I've shown to you. Only you.

Around you, I need no mask.

I passed by an antique shop. Inside, there's a porcelain doll that has light blonde hair. Her fine curls tied by a silken pink ribbon. And, such alluring eyes. . . emerald-green eyes. Guess who it reminds me of. I turned my heel and rotated the cold knob. The door opens with a faint ringing sound as it hit the tiny bells situated right above the door frame. I have to buy that doll.

So I move on with my stroll, carrying a paper bag on one arm. I stop to have a cup of coffee at the nearby bistro. I settle down on the table and pull out the doll that I bought with all gentle care, as if it was really you. I stare at it with awe.

Beautiful. . .

But it's nothing compared to the real thing. The hair lacks glow. The skin should be more rosy and softer. Much softer. And those eyes. . . they should be more radiant, as if real gems. All the same, I hug it tightly. So tight. I want it to be as close to my heart as can be. Just like I want you to be.

The more I hold this doll, the more I wish it were you. Tell me, will I ever have the chance to hold you close? Just like this, without you pulling away because you're afraid of me?

As soon as I finished my brew, I continue with my stroll again. My eager feet are leading me straight to you. Besides, I don't need to look for you to know where you are. We have a link, remember? All I have to do is close my eyes and feel you, then I'll find you. Even if you hide from me.

My little stroll takes me straight to the park. There aren't that much people around, considering it just rained. But I quickly spot you. There, with a book in your lap, sound asleep. I sit beside you, content to just stare at your faultless features.

You stir a bit upon feeling my presence, but continue with your nap. You look awfully tired. A cold wind blows and it makes you shiver. With that little movement, your head falls limply on my shoulder. And it makes me chuckle. If this were any other day, and had you been awake, you'll be pointing your gun at me. Or maybe, you'd be glaring at me and threatening to kill me.

"Hisoka! Hisokaaaa~~~!"

He's here. It would've been the perfect opportunity to take you away, but I'm not quite in the mood to play games. Besides, you look like you're in no condition to scream beautifully for me. I'll leave you for today, and leave you a little present too. I'm sure that you're smart enough to realize that this is a promise.

~ I'll come back for you, someday. ~

This doll would be of no use to me anyway. I'd much prefer the real thing. So I gently shove your delicate head off me. Your forehead feels warm. You shiver again. Don't worry. He's coming. You'll feel warm enough soon. He could provide for you that warmth. . .

The one thing I could never give, for I am already frozen inside.

As I stand up and turn to leave, I bend down and kiss your soft, sweet lips. Just the way I've always known it to be. . . and loved it to be.

Rest assured, my doll, I do love you.

I just have a different way of showing it.

=^w^= I warned you it's crappy. ^o^ I guess I just wanted to portray Muraki in a different light. I'm soooo sorry if I offended Muraki fans. *bows apologetically*