Author: Nefertili PM
Legolas was about to go to the West. Aragorn wants him to stay.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Aragorn & Legolas - Chapters: 4 - Words: 18,707 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 07-05-03 - Published: 06-04-03 - Status: Complete - id: 1372917
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Why Do You Have to Leave Me?
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Genre(s): Romance, Angst
Warning(s): SLASH, meaning same gender relationships. If you are disturbed by this, read no further. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Summary: Set in Rivendell, after the War of the Ring, in a reunion given by Elrond. Legolas tells Aragorn a revelation that may mean they may never see each other again. What will Aragorn do?
Author's Notes: Okay, my second attempt on this pairing. The songs I used are the following: How Do I Live?(from Con Air) and an adaptation from Edelweiss(from The Sound of Music). I repeat, THOSE WHO ARE NOT IN FAVOR OF A-L SLASH, BETTER READ ANOTHER STORY. I don't want any cons setting my e-mail afire. I can accept constructive criticisms, but no flames, please! (The niphredil and elanor is mentioned in LOTR books, O.K.?) Happy reading!
Music of rejoicing and triumph was heard all throughout Rivendell. The Dark Times are over; the evil Dark Lord Sauron was thrown out of his merciless existence and his One Ring of Power was destroyed in his equally abominable dwelling land of Mordor. It was clearly a time for a real celebration, after all the years of turmoil and peril. For that reason, King Elrond, the all-powerful ruler of Rivendell, gave a reunion for all the members of the Fellowship of the Ring who survived the quest and ordeal of defeating the Dark Lord. But in the seclusion of the tranquil, peaceful gardens of Rivendell came two persons, an Elf and a Man. They left all the melodies and gaiety behind them and talked in hushed tones, as though it was time for the world to come to its end.
"Legolas, what is it you are about to tell me?" asked Aragorn, who's now called King Elessar since his coronation in Minas Tirith. "By looking at you, I am ensured it is of great importance. Why would it require our private conversation?"
"You were reading this face of mine since dinner, I have noticed," Legolas answered in a melancholy voice that will surely plant concern in the hearts of those who heard it. "You ought to have an inkling on what I am about to reveal to thee."
The renowned King of Gondor shook his head lightly, his dark, grey-flecked hair slightly brushing his sympathetic face. "That is true, I was attempting to study your expression, but I don't have a clear view of your revelation. All I understand is that you have some very downcast and troubled thought going on your mind. It is clearly seen in your face; Legolas, the Dark Days are through. Why are you now, of all times wearing a face of mourning when you were full of life and vigor during our perilous journey?"
Legolas heaved a huge sigh and hung his head. His face, especially his eyes, had lost all their glamour, making him gloomy and looked older. At last he was able to utter something.
"My heart does not know how to begin this statement, Ara-I mean, King Elessar, forgive this Elf now humbly standing before thee…"
Aragorn stepped closer to the Prince of Mirkwood and ran his fingers gently behind the Elf's pointed ears, touching his golden hair that dazzled magnificently in the moonlight. His fingers were rough; they still hadn't lost the roughness of the calluses he had gotten during his past Ranger years.
"Why are you being so uneasy, Legolas? I am not really bothered if you call me Aragorn, Estel, Strider, or any of my other titles even if I am now King Elessar. Even if I my title is now different, my past will never change. You are a part of it, and you can never change my past in which we were together, you and I. We were together through all the trials we encountered during the Time of Sauron. We suffered yet endured. We fought and were victorious. After all those times, do you still feel ill at ease to speak with me, Legolas?"
Legolas seemed as though he found no comfort or ease in Aragorn's actions. He edged away from Aragorn and slowly pushed his fingers away from his fair face. Elessar hinted in those gorgeous silver-blue eyes a glint of grief stabbing from within…and some unfamiliar king of fear.
"Why is fear shown in your eyes? What caused it to settle in your heart, my Prince? Do you fear me? Or is it what you are about to inform me? Keep it hidden and forget about it if-''
"No," Legolas answered firmly, his unusually wan face creasing into a deep frown. Don't incite me to delay it further. You ought and have the very right to know. You…"
Legolas broke off, unable to say any more words.
Aragorn, however, was very patient with the Elf; he waited patiently until Legolas managed to get an assured hold of himself.
"Elessar," Legolas said readily. "You ought to forget me. You ought to leave me."
How do I get through one night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Aragorn was devastated by what the Elf told him. Evidently, that was the last thing he thought Legolas would declare to him. Aragorn pulled Legolas close to him and put his arms around him securely. "Legolas, you know better than anyone else that I couldn't do such a thing. How could I leave you? Forget you, I can never do. I love you, Legolas…I love you."
Legolas fidgeted and wriggled in Aragorn's grasp like a bird that got caught in a cage. "Let go of me, Elessar."
"No," Aragorn said steadily, keeping Legolas in his tight encirclement. "I will not let you part from me."
However, Legolas did not give up his struggle, amidst Aragorn's words. "Elessar…we-we cannot love each other."
This kind of answer infuriated Aragorn. He grabbed the Elf's shoulders and grasped them so hard it hurt Legolas. "Who says we can't?!" Aragorn thundered, shaking Legolas so hard his head swirled.
"You're hurting me, King Elessar," Legolas said. His face was creasing with pain, his hair slightly being disheveled.
"WHO SAYS WE CANNOT LOVE EACH OTHER, LEGOLAS GREENLEAF?!" Nearby, a flock of nestling sparrows soared up the air in flight. Aragorn's voice had terrified them.
Aragorn blinked and stared at Legolas, openmouthed. He slowly let go of his grip on the Elven Prince. Legolas quickly took a few steps away from Aragorn and massaged his sore shoulders.
"Legolas, for-forgive me," Aragorn stammered, walking towards the Prince of Mirkwood and reaching out for him. "My emotions were beyond my control…"
His hands were nearly touching Legolas' cheeks when Legolas chose to shun them. He looked at the King of Gondor straight in his grey eyes. Aragorn did not attempt to restrain Legolas any further and stared back at him. There is something different in the perception of the Elven Prince…they have some kind of stare in them that brought a chill to Aragorn's spine and a new kind of a glint so stern he looked like a different person. This is very serious...Legolas was never this serious, especially to Aragorn.
Oh, I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life.
"You are now Elessar, you are now a King," Legolas said soberly and softly, as soft as the sound of deep waters. "Things cannot be as they once were."
"Please allow me to finish my sentence, King Elessar, if it is according to your will. A King has more duties than a Ranger you once were. An Elf, and an Elven Prince at that, has no place in a King's life. I must leave; I might be getting in the way of your duties."
"You said the word 'might', and that is an understatement, Legolas. What you believe in must be unlearned. You are not a mere tiny star in my sight. You are not something that must be neglected. Neither are you an obstacle for what I am supposed to accomplish. I am not leaving you and you are not leaving me. Come with me, Legolas, and be with me for all eternity!"
"Accept me, your people will not do."
Aragorn was beginning to get exasperated by Legolas' obstinate persistence. "Legolas! What caused you to become such negative a thinker? I am their King; whether they like it or not, I love you and they have to accept you!"
Legolas replied serenely, "The usage of force creates chaos, King Elessar."
"'Legolas!" Aragorn gripped his shoulders once more. "Why are you acting as though you feel nothing for me? Do you not love me?"
"Legolas, tell me," Aragorn said sensitively, tenderly touching Legolas' cheek. "Do you not love me?''
Legolas, however, remained silent amidst Aragorn's loving gesture. He looked down to avoid his gaze.
"Legolas, please, look at me." Aragorn passionately placed his fingers under Legolas' chin and gently raised his head. "Why do you have to leave me?"
Finally, Legolas met the glances of the Numenorean King. There was a burst of emotions in his eyes; it was clear he was only doing his best to keep back his tears.
"Aragorn," Legolas finally spoke again, though in a higher, more urgent pitch. "This love will lead us to nowhere. You will end up feeling emptiness in your heart. I-I am bound for the West a week from now…to the Undying Lands."
Aragorn's heart sank deeper into despair. It was worse, a hundred times, a thousand times, worse than death to not see his beloved ever again. "Legolas, indeed, my heart will feel emptiness, because you are away from me. Do you prefer immortality over me? Your beloved? Your only one?"
This question had an astonishing effect on Legolas. It troubled him deeply and he was not sure of what to say, or if he should answer back. Finally, after a few silent moments, he gave a response. He gradually shook his head.
"Then why, Legolas, do you have to go?" Aragorn had Legolas in his loving embrace. This time, the Elven Prince did not refuse to give in. "Why do you have to leave me desolate in this world?"
Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
Legolas looked up at Aragorn and said quietly, "Look at me, Estel. What do you see?"
Aragorn let go of Legolas and gazed at his beloved's fair face. "I see the live of my life. It is a very heartrending sight to see him very downcast by the thought of leaving. He wants to stay, but he just won't acknowledge it."
But Legolas' answer was the contrary. "A male Elf that I am is what you really are seeing. You only know very well what that means. Your race is beginning to diminish, yet my being prevents me from doing something to avoid it. I can never give you children to continue your lineage."
"But I love you. Legolas, I love you for what you are. There were Kings whose female wives didn't even bear children."
Legolas shook his head in a steadfast manner and gently pushed Aragorn away from him. "Our love is leading us to nowhere. It feels different; it feels better if love will cause us to unite and make new life. You can love me as a friend, but marry someone else and be happy. Why did you call off your wedding to Arwen? Marry her and have your heir."
"The answer to your question is straightforward. I do not love her, Legolas. It is you whom I poured out my love and life into. If I ever marry Arwen, I will never be in high spirits again. We will just live life in arguments and might even separate someday. Legolas, please, have pity on me. Don't leave me."
And I, baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life.
"Elessar, Middle Earth is not as small as Rivendell; there is more that meets the eye. If you search far and wide enough, you will surely find someone to replace me. Thou might even find someone better while I am at the Undying Lands."
"Legolas!" Aragorn nearly yelled. "Do I still have to explain it to you? Love isn't something that that could be replaced and replaced of reoccupied and reoccupied. True love occurs only once in a lifetime, and this is my time, your time. I have found you and I am not ever going to lose you again. Come with me to Gondor. I, with all my life, will do all I can to satisfy all that your heart hungers and desires."
"Elessar," Legolas replied amiably, "it is your heart, then, that will not be fully glad; and I never wanted that to happen. It is better for me to go, but I will not leave you just like this. I will leave you a small reminder." He took Aragorn's hand and pressed a small pale green and white bloom to his palm. "Do you know what this is?"
Aragorn took some time to recognize the delicate blossom. "I remember now, it is a niphredil. One of the winter flowers we found in Lothlorien."
Legolas nodded and out of his mouth came a song.
Every morning you greet me,
Small and pure,
Gentle for sure,
You look happy to meet me.
Blossom of snow,
May you bloom and grow,
Bloom and grow forever.
Bless my lover forever.
He slightly choked on the last line. When Aragorn met his eyes, he detected tears; tears were glistening in the corners of those charming eyes. For the last time, Aragorn tried to dissuade Legolas to stay.
"Legolas, come with me. Those tears indicate that you don't want to leave Middle Earth for all time."
Legolas blinked many times and gently rubbed his eyes. "What tears? Some dirt just got into my eyes. No, please, don't tempt me to turn back, for I have made up my mind.
"The song you just heard from me may be the last you will hear from me, so treasure it in you heart. I am making it harder for you all the more; it is better for me to go. Let go of me, and our love."
"Aragorn, we live in two different worlds. You may have lived in my world for once, but that is all. I, myself, will find it difficult to dwell in yours. If you like, marry Arwen. It is not too late to call if back, for the sake of your kith and kin."
Aragorn opened his mouth as though to answer back, but Legolas continued on his words as he touched the niphredil in Aragorn's hand. "The blossom of the niphredil may be less splendid than the elanor, but in my opinion, they show more purity. Every time you see more of its kind in its modest beauty, my heart sincerely hopes they remind you in me; that you see me in them." He tenderly touched Aragorn's robust face with his delicate fingertips and took his time in examining his face. "I would like to cherish your face in my memory ceaselessly. This is my last time I am going to see it." Out of a sudden, Legolas flung his arms around Aragorn.
Aragorn was surprised by Legolas' actions, but he smiled quietly and stroked his smooth hair that felt supple and silky beneath his fingers. However, Legolas broke off his embrace as fast as he started it. He was now hiding his face in his hands, away from Aragorn's view.
When Elessar soothingly moved Legolas' face from his protective hands, his mouth fell open. Legolas wasn't able to hold back his tears much longer, and they are now trickling out of his eyes.
Aragorn, without delay, raised his hand with sympathy to wipe off his beloved's tears, but Legolas got hold of it and gently pushed his hand down. He shook his head and wiped the crystal clear liquid off his face and eyes all by himself.
"'I will never forget you, Aragorn. I, oh, I loved no one but you."
Having finished his sentence in simple but remarkable words, he turned to leave, but run away is a better term.
However, Aragorn speedily grabbed hold of Legolas' wrist. Legolas turned to look at him, but he did not attempt to wrench himself from Aragorn's grasp, he didn't even shy away.
"Elessar," he said in the sternest and yet most heartfelt voice he could muster. "I have to go. Please don't hold me back any further. Please, if there is one last favor you can do for me, please let me go, and all the feelings you had for me."
Aragorn then, as though he had meant to do it all along, detached a long, sharp Elven dagger, sheath and all, from his belt and gave it to Legolas, squeezing his hands around the hilt of the blade.
"If that is what the Prince of Mirkwood desires, be it so," King Eelessar replied. "I am not preventing you from doing what you think is the right thing, but please keep this dagger with you wherever you go. I am sorry, there's no better legacy I can leave to you but this blade. But don't think it represents stabbing hate, war or revenge. I want you to think of it as a reminder that I will always be there to protect you, to keep you away from harm."
Legolas was speechless. Aragorn then let of his hand. The Elven Prince stood still in a trance before he turned his back on the King of Gondor and ran away as fast as he can without looking back, clutching the dagger close to his heart.
Aragorn stood transfixed and staring at empty space for some time. He held up the niphredil Legolas gave him close to his chest gently, as not to break its petals. It took him a while to recover from the reality of what his beloved just told him; that that was the last time he ever saw Legolas.
I wonder why Legolas acted that way, as though someone had poisoned his mind into telling me those things. He usually doesn't bother to think of things such as what he told me, such disturbing things for him. Doesn't he understand? Inside me, I remain as I am, Aragorn, no matter how many times they change my name and my rank as a person. Along with my old self, my love for Legolas is still there, undivided and unwavering.
I, indeed, see some stunning similarities between Legolas and the niphredil. Purity and pleasant humility really makes him stand out, makes me love him. I feel that he doesn't want to leave Middle Earth. It was plain in his face. I wonder why he has to force himself to face a lonely, empty life without me. But his persistence was strong; I gave in to him in the end. All I left him is my Elven dagger that has been passed on to me by my true family, and I always kept it with me. I, from the bottom of my heart, hope that he thinks of it positively, not as a weapon of war and bloodshed, but a weapon for protection and assistance, and most of all, love and remembrance.
His song really touched my heart. Bless my lover forever. That line continues to haunt me until now. Sauron was defeated, along with all who built alliances with him, all the traces of their evil vanquished; but my life will be darker than his times without Legolas by my side.
I hope he finds someone to love in the Undying Lands, to find the same niphredil that reminds me of him as my melethron(lover), my only one, my life's support.
My efforts to convince him to let go of me were not in vain, after all. Estel gave me freedom in the end, though I doubt he will, I will, let go of our love. Oh, we just can't love, and I mean the real love that makes new life. That, happen to a He-Elf and a Man? Absurd. Not only that, Aragorn, I mean King Elessar's people will despise and hate me. What more if they lose trust in their King for loving an Elf that is me.
Every word I used to convince him torments me and my conscience, that's why I had fear embossed in my eyes. I am not even sure why I feel guilt. It is the right thing, I know it. But now, I confess, I really do not want him to marry another; I will gladly give up all my immortality to be with him…I love him.
But I have to leave for Aragorn's sake. I know he understands that. I can leave, but I cannot forget. Oh good Lord, tell me how to do it! I shouldn't have allowed him to embrace me or touch my face; I shouldn't have allowed myself to do the same to him. The more it pressed my heart to stay.
Until now, I haven't parted with the dagger Estel gave me. That is all I have that reminds me of him, all the times we were together, his promise. I guess my heart shall never part from him as well. But I hope he finds a new love and forget me, to be spared from being pained by all the memories he had of me.
And tell me now,
How do I breathe without you?
I want to know.
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever,
How do I, how do I,
Oh how do I live?
Don't think I will leave them both brokenhearted! Three more chaps are coming!