A/N: I'm on a Naruto kick lately. I swear to God, this series
just won't leave me alone. This is the third story I've written
for it in one sitting, in fact. Trying for something that's
actually pseudo-canon this time too. *gasps*
Sakura's POV.
*
*
"Playing Keep Away"
*
*
Hey, Sasuke. Hey, look at me.
So introverted. So sure of yourself. What does that feel like?
I always doubt myself- it seems that I can never think of the
right thing to do, while you and Naruto save the day and shame
me. Why did Iruka-sensei even put me on Team 7, I wonder? You,
I know, were supposed to balance out Naruto's incompetence . . .
weren't you?
Or . . . was he to balance out your cruel arrogance? To make
you get off your sorry ass and remember that yes, there ARE
other people on the fucking planet, Uchiha: sorry to disappoint
you.
Maybe it was both. Maybe it was neither.
But what about me? Where do I belong in that dynamic?
Maybe we're just supposed to fight. Have you noticed it,
Sasuke? The way you and Naruto are clambering so desperately up
and over each other time and again, while I follow you as
quickly as I can, never good enough? That's one of the reasons
that our team works, actually: you refuse to let Naruto get the
better of you and he refuses to let you keep showing him up and
I simply refuse to let either of you outrun me. It's like the
most fucked-up game of Keep Away ever played in the history of
the universe.
And I won't stop, you know.
I won't be left behind.
You are mine. Naruto is mine. Kakashi-sensei is mine. I won't
let myself become a liability, become a weakness to be replaced
or transferred.
I have control of myself. More than you two do, even if I don't
always use it. I know when I've gone too far and when I'm not
even close to pushing the limits. I have to. Otherwise
everyone would know that I am a fake.
Do you know my secret? Do you know about the inner Sakura that
laughed when Kakashi was caught in Naruto's childish prank that
first day that we were thrown in together, that is so smug and
confident?
Only, I never let her out, so how can I really be her? If I
keep her locked up, afraid that she will not be accepted, what
does that make me?
Damn it all.
Damn you, and damn Naruto, and damn Iruka-sensei for making me
do this! For making me suffer through wanting you and being so
close and getting nothing of what I'm giving you back!
Fucking cold bastard! I LOVE you! Even if you're an asshole
and a jerk and just too cool for us, I love you! Love your
smirk, your grief, your face and hair and the way you bleed and
fight and scream.
That's me talking, by the way. Haruno Sakura, your teammate.
The skinny girl with the big forehead and the big plans: the one
who decided that you were going to be hers before she knew shit
about you.
Well, I know you now.
And I love you more than I ever did then.
By the way, in case you care, Mr. Perfect- it seriously sucks.
*
*
* ende *
*
*
. : i love you. i love you. i love you.
yeah, whatever. : .
The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.