|What You Believe
Author: Candyland PM
*One-shot* Kyou is confronted by someone he truly hates...someone he's been running from for a long time...but who is it exactly? Guess the POV!Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Words: 1,658 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Published: 06-18-03 - Status: Complete - id: 1388684
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN:WOW! I had such positive reviews for my first FB story that I decided to try and write another one. Yay! I can't really summarize this one without giving too much away, but try and guess the POV, okay? If anyone can guess it, I'll send you a cookie! I don't own Fruits Basket.
What You Believe
Well, congratulations. You truly are brilliant, aren't you, Kyou? I don't know why I'm even up here, bothering with you. It's not like it'll do any good.
You just don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you? You truly are a stupid cat. Think before you act or speak. Is that too much to ask? Apparently. You would have a lot less trouble with people if you would just keep a tighter rein on your temper and that foul mouth of yours.
A delicious smell wafts upstairs. It drifts to my nose and makes my mouth water, even as I sit here staring at you, you waste of space. It is the sweet smell of her wonderful cooking. How she can still manage to cook such amazing meals when she's so upset is really beyond me.
Why did you have to blow up at her? She didn't do anything to you. You were just in a bad mood, and since she was the one with the misfortune to talk to you first, you took it out on her. Could you possibly sink any lower? What has she ever done to you, other than try to be your friend and help you? She accepted you. She saw you in the zodiac Cat's beastly original form, and did she turn her back on you? No. She helped you. She cried for you. She brought you back. And this is how she is repayed. This is how you return the favor. You can't even keep yourself under control long enough to get out of the room or something before you blew up. Maybe you really are a monster, hiding in the guise of a human, instead of the other way around.
I know you, Kyou. I can see it, even though you thought you'd kept it hidden from everyone. You don't want to admit anything, but you're attached to her, to say the least. But how could you not be? I'll admit it right up front that having her in your life at all is probably a lot more than you deserve. You let your guard down around her, and letting your guard down is something you never do. But you won't admit it. You won't admit your feelings to anyone. Not even yourself.
You're not the only one attached to her, though. Yuki is, too. You've seen it, even though you don't want to. He cares for her deeply, probably as deeply as you. And he has the charm and manners that could very well win her heart. If it comes down to it, who do you think she'd pick? Truthfully, I mean. Don't kid yourself on this one, Kyou. If you were in her shoes, and you had to make the choice, who would you choose? You know what the logical answer is. But how could she not? He really is the better choice, isn't he? Poised, polite, able to take what's on his mind and put it into the most eloquent speeches…but at least you would know that she was in good hands. Wouldn't that just be a bitter pill to swallow?
And besides, Yuki would never blow up at her, just because he had a really bad day.
Kyou, why don't you just give up already? You've been trying to beat Yuki since you two were children. And now, after all those years of hatred, it seems like you get even more angry when you're anywhere near him. I think I know the reason why, too. You two have been forced into what you probably view as the very pinnacle of unpleasant situations: you have been stuck together, living under the same roof, attending the same school, eating meals together, and being forced to actually get to know one another, rather than just hiding behind your curses and the hatred they bring. Could it be that maybe, just maybe, you're realizing that he's not really that bad? Chances are that he might be realizing the same thing about you, and find it just as unpleasant a thought as you do. After all, he did come after you that night, when your beads were taken. He ran into the woods in the storm, following you. He stopped you from running again. And he tried to help you. I'm sure the very idea that Yuki would try to help you is the most nauseating thing imaginable.
If you weren't the Cat, and Yuki wasn't the Rat, do you think you would still hate each other? For some reason, I strongly doubt it. Especially if she was around. For some reason, her very presence calms everyone around her, you and Yuki included.
Face it, Kyou. You're second best. Always have been, always will be. You can't beat Yuki, you can't be accepted into your own family—how pitiful, that you're even rejected by your own flesh and blood—and you can't get the girl. All you can do is run away, and hide. Keep your real feelings locked away in the very pit of your being. Weigh the real emotions down with heavy stones and toss them down the well of your heart. And then protect yourself as best you can behind your sarcasm, your cynicism, your anger, and your curse.
You are cursed, Kyou. Once, twice, three times cursed. You truly are the monster.
You stupid cat.
You turn sharply to the door.
She is standing there, peering into your room. "Kyou, dinner's ready."
Like the idiot you truly are, you just say, "Okay." There are so many things you could have said to her. You could have apologized for losing your temper, or you could have thanked her, or at the very least said something just a little more thoughtful or imaginative than 'okay.' I'm starting to think that maybe you really are hopeless.
She disappears from the doorway without another word. A second later, the sound of her soft footsteps can be heard walking slowly down the stairs.
Your eyes drop to the floor before returning to me. There is something shimmering in your clay colored eyes; they are redder than usual, as is your face. There is a glassy look in your eyes, a dead look, as you continue to fall deeper and deeper into your neverending cycle of anger and self-loathing.
You turn away now, but it's too late. I saw the first crystal tear fall. I hate seeing you cry. I hate seeing your eyes and face burned scarlet, and damp as your walls crack and the real emotions begin to seep through. The floodgates are going to burst, and then what will you tell everyone? You are ashamed to tell everyone what's really on your mind. You don't want them to know how weak you feel, or how helpless, or anything. After all, you are the Cat. Why should they even care?
More tears fall. They are flowing freely now. You couldn't stop them if you wanted to, could you? And you do want them to. You already know that when you go downstairs for dinner, everyone will see it marked clearly on your face and in your eyes that something is wrong. They may even see that you were crying. She will ask, forgiving as always of your temper outbursts and things, even if you haven't forgiven yourself. That much is certain. But the rest probably won't care.
Don't you dare blame me. Is it my fault that you think dark thoughts of ending it all as you drift off to sleep at night? It it my fault that you can't control your temper at the possible risk of driving away the one person who accepts you unconditionally? Is it my fault you can't even hold yourself together enough to keep from crying?
No. It's not my fault, Kyou. It's not my fault.
It's not my fault that you are an idiot. It's not my fault that you can't even hold on to the one truly precious thing you have in your life. It's not my fault you are cursed.
But there you stand, alone in a darkened room, tears cascading down your face as you stare accusingly at me. You hate me. I know you do. You've made it quite clear. And I hate you too, Kyou.
Slowly, you raise a hand…and press it against the mirror's silvery surface.
"I am a fool," you whisper. My mouth moves identically to yours.
After all, Kyou, I am your reflection.
And what I'm saying is what you believe.
AN: *sigh* I love angst…and I love Kyou, too, don't get me wrong. I just torment the characters I love. As I discovered, I write my best tales when I'm not supposed to be working on them. Like, say, during my philosophy class at our local community college, during a video on Descartes, who is about a million feet over my head anyway. But enough of my prattling. I hope you enjoyed my second FB fic, and please don't kill me for what I'm doing to poor Kyou. He really is my fave character.