Rebirth of a Pyromaniac

Disclaimer: Red Witch owns the Misfits called Wavedancer, Xi, and Trinity. I own the Misfits called Starchild and Darkstar. GI Joe is owned by someone else and the other mutants belong to Marvel Comics.

A/N: Humor is more my forte than angst, so I might not be doing very well on that aspect. I'm no Red Witch, so I'm doing my best. I had some posting problems, so I had to remove and repost this story. If you sent a review in, please re-send it. Thanks.

{dialogue} - thoughts (I can't really do italics)

Chapter 1: Betrayed

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In his base, the megalomaniacal mutant known as Magneto was looking over some papers. The papers contained some information about his Acolytes, elite members of the Brotherhood of Mutants (A/N: I think of the Acolytes as sort of like the Special Forces of the Brotherhood, containing the best of the Brotherhood members). He frowned when he looked upon the page about St. John Allerdyce, the insane Aussie pyrokinetic.

{Pyro has really begun to disappoint me as of late.} Magneto observed. {He has bungled several missions, he has trouble focusing, and he generally is beginning to drive me nuts. He's taken to talking to a human made of flames for hours on end. He carries around that stupid lighter which he constantly flicks, making that annoying sound. He also pounds that drum kit of his, on and on and on.} Magnus let out a grumble as he heard very loud pounding of drums and cymbals (A/N: For some reason, I can see St. John as a drummer. I don't know why, I just do), as well as some loud Australian-accented singing.

"Living in the limelight, the universal dream/For those who wish to see..." Pyro sang and played so loud, it could be heard throughout the base.

"SHUT UP, JOHN!!!!" The other occupants yelled from their rooms. "GO TO SLEEP!!!!!"

"AHHH, COME IN HERE AND MAKE ME!!!" Pyro yelled back playfully, ending with his insane cackle.

"Ugggh...that's it." Magneto growled. "I cannot stand it anymore. Pyro's bungling and insanity cannot be tolerated anymore. I cannot put humanity in its place with that nut around. He must be dealt with."

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(An abandoned warehouse, Los Angeles, California)

"This is the place." Five mutants watched the warehouse from a distance. They were hiding behind a stack of crates. Two of those mutants were the Ram Brothers, Ramrod and Ramfist. The third was the four-armed swordsman codenamed Shiva. The fourth was a tall mutant with spiky blond hair. He was known as Bolt. The fifth was Pyro.

"Man, I'm bored with waiting!" Pyro moaned. "I wanna have fuuuuuuunnnnnnnnn! I want set something on fire."

"Shut up, Allerdyce!" Shiva snapped. "God, you complain constantly about being bored."

"But I wanna burn down the place. Pleeeeeeease?" John begged.

"Why are we busting up a stupid FOH meeting? It's probably just a bunch of dumb inbred rednecks yapping about the football game." Bolt grumbled.

"Dumb inbred rednecks? In LA?" Pyro cackled. "Bolt, I lived here in LA for a while. Let me tell you something. The only rednecks you'll see here are actor portrayals, thunder-boy."

"At least I don't need flamethrowers." Bolt grumbled.

"Both of ya shut up!" Ramrod growled.

"Here he comes!" Ramfist pointed. A limo pulled up to the warehouse, and a very sharply-dressed man stepped out. A couple rather large guys stepped out of the warehouse to greet the man in the suit. The three men shook hands and walked inside.

"Why are we after some zoot-suited idiot, anyway?" Bolt groaned.

"That 'zoot-suited idiot', as you so call him, is the leader of the entire FOH in California. If we take him out, Magneto will reward us greatly." Shiva responded.

"We'll be sendin' a message to them norms. Their time is up. It's our time now!" Ramrod smirked. Pyro suddenly had a rather regretful look on his face. Shiva noticed it.

"What is it, John?"

"I wish I could've paid a visit to a friend of mine while I'm here." John sighed. "His name's Paul Stanley Starr."

"You mean the goofy 80's-dressing kid with the purple star over his eye you like to talk about?" Ramfist groaned. "Get over it, Allerdyce. The kid would've been no help. He had no powers. He wouldn't have stood a chance."

"When do we attack?" Bolt whined.

"Now." Shiva responded. The five mutants leapt out of their hiding place and attacked the warehouse.

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"Man, Hollywood is really beautiful!" A red-haired man whistled in a Boston accent. With him was a black-haired teen, dressed like an 80's rocker, and possessing a purple star birthmark over his right eye.

"Yup. Home sweet home." The black-haired kid grinned. "Let's check out Mann's Chinese Theater, Barbecue." He said to the red-haired man.

"Sounds like fun, Paul." The red-haired man smiled to the black-haired teen. The man was the GI Joe codenamed Barbecue, a fireman from Boston. The kid was Paul Stanley Starr, codenamed Starchild. Paul was a mutant, blessed with the powers of hypnosis and the ability to fire a purple laser from his right eye. Barbecue had decided to take a vacation in Los Angeles, and he asked Paul, a native of Hollywood, to show him around the city. Craig Allman Starr, aka Darkstar of the Misfits, and Paul's twin brother, was on a mission with the others. The two got into a van and drove into the city. "You sure you know where it is, Starr?"

"Yeah, trust me. I know LA like the back of my hand." Paul laughed.

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"WHOOOO!!!!!" Pyro cackled in his traditional insane manner. He and his four comrades had just attacked a Friends of Humanity meeting. He used his pyrokinesis to scare them and Bolt, Shiva, Ramrod and Ramfist had put a hurting on the mutant-haters. They abandoned the warehouse in pain and fright to St. John's screams of "Run, puny humans! Run like the filthy dogs you are!"

"Pyro, torch the place." Shiva ordered. John immediately did so, singing the Trammps's "Disco Inferno" while watching the flames consume the warehouse. The five mutants watched their handiwork, very pleased. Shiva shot a look to Ramrod, Ramfist, and Bolt, who all let out a slight nod in response. Ramrod walked up to Pyro and ripped off his flamethrowers.

"Hey, what?" Pyro turned around in shock. Bolt hit John with a powerful burst of electricity! "AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!" The Australian screamed in pain as Ramfist took him down with a blow to the head, knowing that if Pyro couldn't get his head together, he couldn't use the warehouse flames to help him. Ramfist gave a few kicks to his sides, and another blow to the head for good measure. Pyro looked up at Shiva. "W-W-Why?"

"Sorry, Allerdyce. You're a liability now." Shiva hit John with a hard stomp to his gut. The Ram Brothers threw John into the flaming warehouse. "Take it down!" Using their strength, the twin ram-like mutants slammed the warehouse, causing it to crash down on top of the hurt Australian. "We did the job. Let's go." Shiva, Bolt, Ramrod, and Ramfist leapt inside the metal pods they used as transportation and flew off.

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Paul and Barbecue were driving down the docks, admiring the boats.

"That's a nice boat." Paul pointed out a boat.

"I might get a boat someday, kid." Barbecue shrugged.

"Cool!" Paul smiled. He saw flaming wreckage a little bit ahead of the van. "Barbecue, look!" Barbecue looked, and his jaw dropped.

"My God!" He stopped the van. The Joe and the Misfit ran to the flaming debris pile that was a warehouse.

"I'll call the fire department." Barbecue pulled a cell phone from his back pocket. Paul noticed an object nearby. A lighter. A look of shock crossed his face as he recognized the lighter. It was a silver lighter, with a flip- top, and a red flame on it.

"Oh no!" Paul looked at the debris pile. "This is John's lighter!"

"John? Who's John?" Barbecue asked.

"St. John Allerdyce. He was an old friend of mine. I haven't seen him in years. Barbecue, I think he's in there!" Paul heard a moan, and a bloodied, filthy hand crawled out of the wreckage. With a gasp, Paul jumped on the pile, and dug around the hand.

"Kid, be careful!" Barbecue helped Paul out. They dug up a bruised, bloodied, and soot-covered body, clad in a torn-up costume. Paul instantly recognized him.

"John! My God! Johnny! It's me, Paul! Wake up, man!" Paul tried to rouse Pyro. Barbecue instantly recognized him, too.

{It's Pyro! Pyro of the Acolytes! My God, what happened to this kid?} Barbecue was silent as he helped Paul gently pull John's wounded body out.

"Why?" John moaned faintly. "Why...why...why...why?"

"Hang on, kid." Barbecue and Starchild laid Pyro on the ground.

"We gotta take him to the Pit, Barbecue! He don't look like he'll make it to a hospital! And even if he does, they might not treat him." Paul begged. "We'll be there in seconds! Please, Barbecue!"

"Alright, Starchild." Barbecue said as he went to the radio in the van. "Barbecue calling GI Joe. Barbecue calling GI Joe."

"Come in, Barbecue." The voice of Dial Tone came from the radio.

"We found an injured mutant. He looks like he was beaten and abandoned." Barbecue sighed sadly. "It's Pyro."

"Pyro?" Dial Tone confirmed.

"Yeah. Get Trinity to teleport him to the Infirmary." Barbecue looked at Paul. He was shushing and reassuring John.

"You'll be alright, John. You'll be okay. I have some friends that'll help you out." Paul's eyes watered as he lifted his old friend's hand and held it.

"Paul...Is that you?" John asked weakly.

"Send Paul there too. He and Pyro are old friends."

"I've alerted them. They're ready." Dial Tone replied.

"Beam them up." Barbecue ordered. Paul and John disappeared in a flash of light. Barbecue looked at the wreckage as the fire trucks arrived.

"Man, Dial Tone. Pyro is one powerful mutant. I've seen his powers. He can do incredible things with flames. What happened to leave him in a battered state like this?" Barbecue sighed.

"Whomever it was, it must've been powerful." Dial Tone reasoned.

"Have Trinity send me to the Infirmary as well." Barbecue sat in the van. "I think I'd like to get to know St. John Allerdyce."

"St. John Allerdyce?" Dial Tone asked.

"Pyro's real name." Barbecue explained. "Fire expert to fire expert."

"Yeah." Dial Tone chuckled. The van disappeared in a flash.

Man, what a way to be kicked out of the Brotherhood? What'll be the fate of everyone's favorite Australian mutant? How will the other Misfits react? Find out on the next chapter of "Rebirth of a Pyromaniac!"