A/N: Thank Netscape.com for Iruka's happy sex-info. And yes,
those are all real benefits. -^__^- Nice to know, eh? It's
like validation for being a whore! XD
. . . not that I AM a whore, of course.
"Four Times a Week"
It's a nice day. Sunny, no wind, but the air is not
particularly stagnant. I'm in a tree, ignoring most of the
outside world in favor of Icha Icha Paradise like usual.
"Did you know that sex is really good for you?" Iruka inquires
from the ground.
Close book, inquisitive head tilt, inquire, "Excuse me?"
"It releases positive endorphins," he continues in an
informative tone. "The satisfaction in general cheers people
up. Plus, you'll reduce your stress levels and people who
report at least one or two sexual episodes per week have higher
levels of Immunoglobin A, which is an antibody that protects
people from disease. In fact, having sex three times a week for
a year burns as many calories as running seventy-five miles-
7,500, in fact."
"Oh, does it now?" I ask bemusedly, raising an eyebrow at him.
"You also look younger and live longer," he adds. "People who
have sex FOUR times a week, in fact, look up to ten years
younger than they really are."
"Fascinating," I tell him, "but why are we discussing this?"
"Just thought you might like to know," Iruka says, shrugging.
"You aren't that great at pick-up lines, are you," I say
finally, giving him a weird look.
"Suck at them," he agrees with a wild, vaguely foxy grin that
reminds me of Naruto's. I've never seen him smile like that
I rather like it.
"Tell me why you're rehearsing on me, then?" I say, gesturing
for him to sit next to me. He does.
"Not rehearsing," he tells me, again with the foxy grin.
"Meaning that you're serious?" Return book to pack, fold arms,
repeat inquisitive head tilt.
"Yeah, I am." The grin widens. "Is it working?"
"Kind of," I admit slowly. "Although it's a bit iffy at this
point, so I'd keep talking if I were you."
"I can handle that," Iruka decides. "Though we've been over my
poor social skills already. I could ramble endlessly about the
weather . . . ooo, is that cumulonimbus?"
I give the indicated small white cloud a dubious look. "It's
kind of fluffy and non-thundering for that," I say dryly.
"Really? Oops." He chuckles guiltily and scratches the back of
"Really," I assure him with a faint smirk.
"Well, I was never good with sciences," he says, laughing, as he
runs his hands through his hair.
" . . . really four times a week?" I ask after a moment.
"Really," Iruka assures me, smirking.
"Are you sure?" I press innocently. "Maybe we should experiment
"I could handle that," he agrees, and again he is grinning. And
God, but I love that expression on him. I wonder why he never
Well, I'll just have to see what I can do about that, won't I?
* ende *
. : it's like fitting in without even trying : .