A/N: Thank Netscape.com for Iruka's happy sex-info. And yes, those are all real benefits. -^__^- Nice to know, eh? It's like validation for being a whore! XD

. . . not that I AM a whore, of course.

Kakashi's POV.

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"Four Times a Week"

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It's a nice day. Sunny, no wind, but the air is not particularly stagnant. I'm in a tree, ignoring most of the outside world in favor of Icha Icha Paradise like usual.

"Did you know that sex is really good for you?" Iruka inquires from the ground.

Close book, inquisitive head tilt, inquire, "Excuse me?"

"It releases positive endorphins," he continues in an informative tone. "The satisfaction in general cheers people up. Plus, you'll reduce your stress levels and people who report at least one or two sexual episodes per week have higher levels of Immunoglobin A, which is an antibody that protects people from disease. In fact, having sex three times a week for a year burns as many calories as running seventy-five miles- 7,500, in fact."

"Oh, does it now?" I ask bemusedly, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You also look younger and live longer," he adds. "People who have sex FOUR times a week, in fact, look up to ten years younger than they really are."

"Fascinating," I tell him, "but why are we discussing this?"

"Just thought you might like to know," Iruka says, shrugging.

"You aren't that great at pick-up lines, are you," I say finally, giving him a weird look.

"Suck at them," he agrees with a wild, vaguely foxy grin that reminds me of Naruto's. I've never seen him smile like that before.

I rather like it.

"Tell me why you're rehearsing on me, then?" I say, gesturing for him to sit next to me. He does.

"Not rehearsing," he tells me, again with the foxy grin.

"Meaning that you're serious?" Return book to pack, fold arms, repeat inquisitive head tilt.

"Yeah, I am." The grin widens. "Is it working?"

"Kind of," I admit slowly. "Although it's a bit iffy at this point, so I'd keep talking if I were you."

"I can handle that," Iruka decides. "Though we've been over my poor social skills already. I could ramble endlessly about the weather . . . ooo, is that cumulonimbus?"

I give the indicated small white cloud a dubious look. "It's kind of fluffy and non-thundering for that," I say dryly.

"Really? Oops." He chuckles guiltily and scratches the back of his head.

"Really," I assure him with a faint smirk.

"Well, I was never good with sciences," he says, laughing, as he runs his hands through his hair.

" . . . really four times a week?" I ask after a moment.

"Really," Iruka assures me, smirking.

"Are you sure?" I press innocently. "Maybe we should experiment a bit."

"I could handle that," he agrees, and again he is grinning. And God, but I love that expression on him. I wonder why he never wears it.

Well, I'll just have to see what I can do about that, won't I?

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* ende *

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. : it's like fitting in without even trying : .