Author’s Notes:

Tsume Here. I’ve decided to go back and repost this chapter. Why? Because it was TOTALLY screwed up the first time. I went back and read it and I was like “Gods... Where did I learn grammer? And it was REALLY confusing the way it was written. I hope you’ll like it better now. If you’ve already read it, don’t go back and read it again, because I’m not changing that much. Just making stuff clearer really. And now... My least favorite part:

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Disclaimer:

His Haori is Red,

He doesn’t wear blue-

I don’t own him,

so PLEASE don’t sue!

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Old Memories, New Dreams By Tsume Yamagata Chapter 1- The Hanyou’s Past

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The crowded hut and the thick scratchy blankets only made the unbearable heat more... unbearable. Kagome kicked the blanket off in disgust. She couldn’t get any sleep here. Shippou was chasing butterflies in his dream, Kirara was purring in her ear, Miroku was snoring loud enough to wake the dead, and Sango kept muttering about how she would “beat the stupid monk to death”. The heat was stifling, there was no room to move, and a Tsunami could hit that place and not wake anyone up. She got up, picking her way through the tumble of sleeping bodies. The door was open and soft moonlight shone through. Kagome stepped outside. The heat was almost as bad out here, but at least she could breathe. Curiosity took her other and she decided to go search for Inuyasha.

‘If I’m going to be sleeping outside he had better know or else he’ll yell at me about going off on my own.’ He normally slept in the towering oak across the clearing. She tip-toed to the tree. Sure enough on the highest branch she could see the sleeve of his red Haori fluttering in the hot breeze. She stared at him, wondering. There was so much she didn’t know about him. Before she even knew what she was doing, she whisper-called his name,

“Inu- Inuyasha?” She asked, not expecting any answer... He appeared to be asleep.

“What now wench?” He barked, in the same tone he almost always used- stubborn. He hadn’t been asleep after all. As gruff as his reply had been, he was glad to see her, and leapt down through the tree limbs before alighting on a well used low branch. Kagome studied his expression. He was glaring at her. Like always. She really regretted calling him now.

“I’m sorry,” she started to apologize, not wanting to start up another one of their blazing arguments, “I just wanted to...” She trailed off. What had she wanted? To tell him she’d come outside? To ask him... “I’m sorry.” She continued again hastily, desperate to prevent a yelling outburst. She heard his muttered reply,

“Feh.” There was a rustle of leaves and Kagome figured Inuyasha had returned to his high perch. She looked up and was amazed to find that Inuyasha was now comfortably stretched out on the low branch. Something about his breathing told her he wasn’t asleep. Suddenly a soft voiced pierced the silence.

“Inuyasha? I was.... wondering... about... your life... be- before Kikyou...” Kagome nearly fainted when she realized- the voice belonged to her! ‘Oh noooooo!!! Why did I ask that? Stupid brain! He’s going to get all huffy and stalk off into the forest... leaving me alone...’ But Inuyasha did nothing. He lay there and looked at the moon- nearly full. Kagome was beginning to wonder if she really had said that out loud, when he looked down at her. Inuyasha was startled by her question. ‘Why did she ask? I don’t want to talk about it... But Kagome asked. Am I gonna tell her? I don’t wanna remember those things...’ But the memories were already coming back, playing in his head... So he brushed aside he doubts and looked down. ‘Maybe... just maybe, she doesn’t really want an answer... She could just be making conversation...’ But he knew that Kagome asked because she wanted to know. He could see how uncomfortable she was, craning her neck to look up at him... so he reached down a hand. Kagome blinked back her confusion and took his hand shyly. She expected him to pull her on to the branch he was sitting on, but she gasped in delight as the tree flashed past and he landed lightly on the top most limb. It was wide and Kagome scooted over and dangled her legs over the edge.

“We’re awfully high up.” She commented. But she wasn’t scared. Inuyasha wouldn’t let her fall. Inuyasha said nothing and simply gazed at the moon again. “Inuyasha?” Kagome whispered. She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and did a little inward victory dance when he didn’t shake off her touch. ‘He must be very preoccupied.’ She thought to herself. He didn’t return her gaze, but instead began to speak. ~Inuyasha’s POV~ I didn’t want to talk about them. They... are the sort of old memories that never fade away... never stop being painful... never let you forget them. Because everyday you are reminded about them. It could just be an odd second glance, or a family strolling down the road together- perfectly happy- but you are constantly reminded of them and each time it occurs it’s as if the things are happening all over again. I put up with this... I had to. Because if I could deal with it all now I could use the jewel to end it all. All the ridicule. But even I had doubts... Little sub-conscious fears? Little voices that told me I was being stupid to think of that as an escape... I felt helpless and indecisive. So I took things as they came, sort of avoiding the future and the past at all costs. But now the past was here for it’s revenge, angry that I had pushed it away for so long. So I did the only thing I could think of. I let my burden go. I gave it to her. I... began to speak. “I don’t remember by father very much. He was a full blood Inuyoukai and the ruler of the Western Lands. But... He loved my mother though. We all lived in a castle there. Sesshoumaru didn’t stay with us, but he came around once and while. Then... Then... ~Flashback~ “My Lord! The spies have informed our generals that the Ryuu Youkai are approaching the castle! Their forces outnumber us four to one!”

“I see. Arigatougoimasu.” The inuyoukai looked sadly at his wife and Hanyou son. “I am afraid I must go.”

“BUT CHICHI-UE!” The young boy protested.

“I’m sorry son. Stay with your mother. You must keep her safe for me. Promise me that?”

“I promise father.” The silver haired boy sadly, scuffing his feet and watching the ground. The man left with one last farewell... ~End Flashback~ ~End Inuyasha’s POV~ “He... He never came back.” The dark sky made Inuyasha seem even more forlorn. “We received news of his death a few months later.” ~Kagome’s POV~ I was shocked. I truly was. Since when did Inuyasha have a conversation with me that didn’t include the words: wench, stupid, bitch, jewel shards, or kill? I thought perhaps he needed to get it off his chest, to tell someone, even if that someone had to be me... I figured that must have been the reason because he would have NEVER told me otherwise... right? I’m just the shard-detector... I wanted to offer him my sympathy and comfort him in some way, because I knew it was hurting him to bring up these old memories... But I also didn’t want him to think I thought he was weak. What to do? I have to help him! ~End Kagome’s POV~ Kagome laid a comforting hand on Inuyasha’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to.” She looked into his golden-amber eyes. Inuyasha blushed and jerked away. Mistaking his action for anger, Kagome pulled her hand back and dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry.” She said, though she didn’t want to apologize for something she thought had been right. Inuyasha continued. “I lived there with my mom for awhile...” ~Flashback~

A young silver haired boy chased a ball through the crowded village street. He caught it in his clawed hands. The ball had stopped at the feet of three boys. They were only a few years older, but they managed to look down their noses at him. The boy in the middle snatched the ball.

“Hay Half-Breed! Whattcha doin’ with a nice ball like this? They don’t give stuff like this to trash like you.”

“Huh?” The young Inuyasha asked simply.

“My dad is right! You’re so under-bred you’re retarded!”

“Could I have my ball back please?” The boys all laughed. One boy reached out and grabbed Inuyasha’s ear.

“Look at this! You’re a dog! An animal!”

“HEREEEE PUPPY, PUPPY, PUPPY!” Inuyasha’s hands flew to his ear. It hurt. It rung. He couldn’t hear out of it. A thin trickle of blood ran between the fur. This only made the boys laugh more.

“Does it hurt mutt?” The boy with the ball asked, grinning maliciously. He began to tug as hard as he could on the other ear. Tears began to form in Inuyasha’s eyes. “Please lemme go!” He whimpered and tried to run. The boys however, surrounded him and refused to stop tormenting him. Suddenly the middle boy grinned again.

“I bet that didn’t hurt as much as this will!” He socked Inuyasha in the stomach as hard as his fist could manage. Inuyasha fell to ground, clutching his stomach. The boys seized the opportunity and starting kicking him viscously. After awhile though, they grew bored and left the broken, bloody, form for Inuyasha lying in the street. No one stopped to help the “Hanyou Scum.” Suddenly Inuyasha was swept into the arms of a raven-haired woman.

“Inuyasha! Inuyasha, my baby, how did this happen?”

“Momma. Momma.” Was all he could say. His mother gathered him in her arms and strode away, glaring at the humans who had done nothing to help. She carried him back to their home and tended to his injuries.

“Momma? What’s a Half-Breed?” His mother sighed sadly.

“Half-Breed is a very nasty name for someone who is half human and half youkai.” She took his chin in her hand and pulled his eyes to her’s. “But please... please don’t listen to those people.” She held him close and rubbed his still-ringing ears. This started the uncontrollable purr-like growl. His mother loved that little purr, but Inuyasha thought it was babyish. Most of the time... ~End Flashback~ “After that my mom forbid me to go into the village without her. About a year later though...” ~Flashback~ “Wh-Where are you Inuyasha?” The sick woman coughed.

“I’m here Momma.” He took her pallid hand.

“You must be strong for me.”

“No, Momma, No! Don’t leave me!” But it was too late. The woman took one last ragged breath and was gone. The young Inuyasha shook her lightly. “Momma? MOMMA! Please! Come back! Come back!” He sobbed. “I failed you father. I’m... I’m sorry.” He lay his head on her cot and cried himself to sleep. The next morning Inuyasha carried his mother’s body outside and laid her on the ground while her dug a deep hole. Sobbing silently to himself he laid the her in her final resting place. He picked a delicate beautiful flower from the garden a few feet away and laid it on her grave. The villagers watched as the young boy buried his own mother. They did not pity him. He was nothing to them. Less than a dog.

“VILE BEAST!” A woman shouted. Inuyasha backed away from the advancing crowd. Many of them held spears or bows. “Leave this village beast! Go back to your own kind! Your mother deserved her fate and you deserve worst!” Inuyasha turned and ran, several arrows piercing the ground near his feet. ~End Flashback~ “Maybe I would have gone back to my own kind... If I had my own kind... So I lived in the woods after that. I tried once or twice to go into other villages to look for a place to stay or to eat... but... I wasn’t welcome. So I just roamed the land I guess. For more than... 10 years, I think. Then I heard of a jewel that could turn me into a full Youkai. I ended up meeting Kikyou and I guess you know the rest...” He looked down and was horrified to see that silent tears ran down Kagome’s cheeks. ~Kagome’s POV~ Suddenly all of Inuyasha made sense. At least I thought it did... His dislike for humans, his desire for the Shikon Jewel, even his love of Kikyou. She was the only one who hadn’t hated him for what he was.

“Inuyasha! I’M SO SORRY!”

“What for?” He asked, startled. I knew as mean as he could be, he didn’t like it when I cried. But the tears came anyway. I felt like everything thing I had ever said... Every ‘SIT’ was an evil thing I had done. I wanted to take it all back. All of it.

“I’M SOOOOO SORRY! For... For everything.” I did the only thing that felt right. I fell into his arms. I didn’t care if he tried to shove me away. I only wanted to erase all his horrid memories- To rid him of his hate. To show him... “Inuyasha please. Please don’t hate humans anymore. We aren’t all like that. We’re your friends and we don’t care if you’re a Hanyou. Just please... Please don’t hate me anymore.” ~End Kagome’s POV~ ~Inuyasha’s POV~ “Inuyasha please. Please don’t hate humans anymore. We aren’t all like that. We’re your friends and we don’t care if you’re a Hanyou. Just please... Please don’t hate me anymore.” It was like I was paralyzed. Kagome thought I hated her. Her touch alone was a shock- Like the one I got from her stupid, whattcha call it? TV? I was so stunned by that simple action that I was almost reeling when she began to speak again. But I heard her. Suddenly all the mean things I’d said, all the times I’d yelled, and all the nasty names I’d called her came flooding back. No wonder Kagome thought I hated her. I felt sick. How could I have been so mean? Oh..... What should I do? How can I make it up to her? Inuyasha you idiot! THINK! ~End Inuyasha’s POV~ Kagome felt Inuyasha wrap his arms around her. She would have been shocked- if she wasn’t busy being sad. She heard him whisper

“I don’t hate you.” Those words were like thunder in her heart. “I don’t hate all humans either. Some of you mortals are all right.” Kagome sighed and continued to cry, soaking the front of his fire-rat Hoari.

“Inuyasha I’m so sorry for what those people did to you. I don’t know how you forced yourself to live on! If-If people had treated me like that I would have never trusted anyone ever again! I’m so sorry Inuyasha.” ~Kagome’s POV~ I wanted to tell him how sad I truly felt, how sorry I really was, but there are not words for such sadness. So I stayed there in his comforting embrace.

“Ssh. Ssh. Everything’s all right.” He said. I wiped away a single tear and looked up at him, somewhat defiantly I must say.

“INUYASHA! Stop comforting me! I’m supposed to be comforting you!” I said that with no reserve because whatever had happened to Inuyasha seemed to have rid him of his arrogant attitude. ~End Kagome’s POV~ Both of them simply sat there, unsure of what to do. Inuyasha wanted to prove to Kagome that he didn’t hate her, and Kagome wanted to rid Inuyasha of his hate for others. Neither one spoke. Apologizes were simply words that masked true feelings. Though nothing was said, a lot came to be understood. Inuyasha felt strange, that Kagome was actually sad for him. Kagome realized that Inuyasha really didn’t hate her. Neither could pull away, and the dawn lit upon the two sleeping in each other’s arms. The first rays of light fell upon Inuyasha’s brow and woke him up slowly. Suddenly he remembered what had happened last night and looked down at the sleeping girl. He gathered her in his arms and leapt from the tree, careful not to wake her. He laid her gently at the base of the tree and hopped back up onto his perch.

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Author’s Notes:

Well dear readers? Whattcha think? I know it is super, extremely, hugely long, but I think if fits better in one chapter rather than two. Yes, I know Inuyasha’s mother died in a fire, but I think it is more sad to make him have to bury his own mum. Please no flames! Thanks for reading! Please have it in your hearts to review!

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