Why must you look at me like that?

I know I'm not beautiful, but that's insulting!

People would stare at you, too, if you had four eyes!

And don't look so terrified!

I have a big mouth to chatter with, not to eat big things.

Like You.

I'm actually quite shy… (why do you laugh?)

I hate big crowds, but these insect-people that keep me insist that I

Kill their guests infront of lots of people.

Brutal Beasts.

They tie their visitors to columns, and make me eat them!

I've broken many a nail in these foul games – look at my claws!

And don't point so at my tail! That's rude!

I'm very self-conscious by its forked tip, covered in suckers as it is…

(No, my sire wasn't part squid;

Mother Nature was having a laugh when she created my species.)

And, oh no, you've got it all wrong! It isn't for grasping victims with!

Should I ever want to stick to a window, though, it may come in handy…

Just stand back and squint a little, from a distance.

That's it.

Aren't I really just a big pussycat?

I wish I could curl up on someone's lap, or stretch out infront of a fire

But people don't want a Nexu in their lounge.

(And definitely not one on their knees!)

Oh, why must you look at me like that?

Stop it, or I'll have to eat you.