I remember...There was a rushing sound, and then my world went as caliginous as my surname.

The darkness had just enveloped me when I’d heard it. I don’t know how else to describe the sound to you, but to me it sounded almost like someone was flapping the pages of a book in my face. I could even feel a slight breeze dance over my cheeks. My eyelids grew heavy at that point, and slowly, I allowed my eyes to drift shut.

With this abstruse sound came visions. Visions of my life; the life I’d just lost.

They were all knotted together in a succession as they raced through my mind. The illusions came and went with such velocity that I barely had the time to recognise them as my own, but languidly, gradually they began to slow. I guess that these visions were the important ones. The significant, profound occasions that had been permanently engraved within my mind.

Meeting James for the very first time.

The assembling of the Marauders.

The Pranks.

The Map.

Graduation.

Being named Best Man at Lily and James’ wedding.

Being christened Harry’s Godfather.

...

Then it became darker.

...

A vision of me as I held up James’ lifeless body, silently pleading with him to come back.

The shock as the sound of crying from up the stairs met my ears.

Tentatively stepping over Lily’s fallen body, lying in the midst of a devastated nursery.

Cradling a baby Harry in my trembling arms as I took him outside before the house collapsed.

Holding his bleeding head to my own chest to hide the lifeless bodies of his parents sprawled across the floor from his innocent eyes.

Next came Peter’s apprehensive face.

A series of deafening noises.

Pipes groaning in protest as they bent.

Women screaming...

Children crying...

Laughter.

My laughter.

There were wands pointed in my face.

Azkaban prison.

The coldness that chilled you down to your soul, that is, if you were fortunate enough to retain one.

The visions that followed these appalling ones however, were the most prominent by far.

James’ laughter.

Remus’ smile.

Harry’s eyes.

Then the sound that resembled the fluttering pages of a book stopped, and the many different visions that had only taken seconds to streak through my mind came to a sudden and abrupt halt.

Everything was dark again, and then, before I could open my eyes to take a look around, a light so intense it felt as though I’d been sat directly in front of the sun hit my eyes, and I winced, trying to back away from it. As I walked back however, the light steadily began to fade, and hesitantly, I dared to open my eyes, shielding them slightly against the lingering glare.

It took my eyes a moment to adjust, but in time they did, and that’s when I saw it. The silhouette of a man was stood within the light, and I squinted to attempt making out who the shadow belonged to. Before I had the chance though, the figure began making it’s way towards me, and I found myself taking a few stumbling steps back.

As the light faded, becoming no more than a delicate glow that seemed to illuminate him, I stopped, momentarily frozen on the spot...It was just like a dream, there he was...

James.

Not looking a day older than he had the day he died.

“J-James?” I managed to choke out finally, staring at the other man in utter disbelief.

A smile broke out over James’ face then, and he nodded slowly, somewhat reassuringly.

Taking in a few shaking breaths, I took a quick look around before I looked back to James, relief washing over me at the mere sight of his familiar face. “James...Jamie, where am I?”

“No where,” James replied as he took a leisurely look around.

Frowning at his unadorned response, I shook my head. “No...James please, this is no time for a joke, I...I was fighting, I was duelling James, I have to get back and-”

“Your dead...” James said softly, still looking around, though there was nothing to see.

I shut my eyes briefly as what he said sunk in. No...That couldn’t be, that was the most absurd thing I’d heard in years, and slowly, I shook my head.

“You’ve died...” James repeated, moving his eyes slowly to look back at me.

I could feel his eyes on me, and I opened my eyes to meet his piercing gaze. “I thought dying was pleasant,” I began, perhaps in the false hopes that if I proved him wrong, he’d admit his mistake, and this would all be sorted out. My voice grew slightly panicked as I continued, “I can’t be dead James, I’m not dead-”

“Death-” James cut in, holding up a hand to silence me, “is only unpleasant to those who fear it.”

“I’m not afraid-” I snapped, my chest heaving with a range of different emotions as I shook my head determinedly.

“-But you don’t want to accept it-”

“-Because I’m not dead!” I hollered, even surprising myself.

A long silence followed this unexpected outburst.

Lowering his eyes to the floor, James remained quiet for a long moment before he spoke up once more. “You have a decision to make now...and I’ve come to help...”

I moved my eyes slowly upwards to stare into James’, forcing myself to remain silent, forcing myself to refrain from asking the million questions clouding my mind.

Licking his lips slightly, something James only did when he was apprehensive about something, James slowly lifted an arm to point to the left, and it was only then that I noticed a rippling black curtain. Come to think of it, it closely resembled the curtain I myself had fallen through, though I was certain that it had not been there moments before.

“You can stay...” James began, interrupting my train of thought, “or you can go...” he continued, opening up the hand he’d had clenched into a fist at his side. The light from earlier seemed to be balanced atop his palm, a phosphorescent sphere that reflected off of James’ comely features as it slowly rotated.

“What do you-” I began, but my voice cracked, becoming hoarse with emotion. I cleared my throat forcibly before trying again. “What do you mean ‘stay or go’?”

James paused for a moment here, as though he were carefully considering which words to choose to phrase what he next said. After a long moment of thoughtful consideration, he spoke up again. “Stay as in...Return to the place you’ve just come from-”

“Well lets do that!” I cut in enthusiastically, my dull eyes suddenly lighting up at the prospect. James had opened his mouth to speak, but I didn’t give him a chance. “Jamie, you can come with me, we can both go back and-”

“I can’t-” James cut in again, this time more forcefully, having had to raise his voice slightly in order to be heard.

My verbalising came to an abrupt halt, and a frown flickered over my smiling lips at that. “Why?” I asked, my voice just barely above a whisper as I shifted uncomfortably to my other foot.

“Because,” James stated simply, “I’ve made my choice already. I made up my mind a long time ago...and there’s no going back on it now,” he said, his voice soft and his expression suddenly slightly morose.

With one last longing look towards the curtain, I turned back to James. “What happens if I chose to stay...?”

Frowning slightly, James’ voice was slightly sorrowful as he spoke. “Your spirit will forever walk the earth. Never again will you truly be alive...but you will exist.” Slowly, he lifted his eyes from the floor to stare into mine. “The people around you, the people you stayed behind for will pass themselves, each in their own time...but you can’t. Even when everyone is gone, which, we all must accept will happen at one point or another...you will have no option, you will remain.”

My eyes widened slightly as I stared back into James’. “So you could have been a ghost?” I asked, my mind wandering. Would I have preferred it if James had been made a ghost? Sure, it would have been just that, a phantom of the man that he truly was, but still. All those long years, I’d have had my Jamie back...My eyes lit up again at this. “You should come back, in a spirit form! Oh Harry would be pleased I bet, as would Remus, and when everyone else passes, they can make the same decision and we’ll all-”

“I would never wish that on anybody,” James cut in, his expression solemn again.

Recovering from the slight shock at being cut off with such a grievous response, another frown passed over my lips. “Why do you say that?” I asked curiously, cocking my head slightly to one side.

“Only the unhappiest people become ghosts...” he replied softly.

After pausing for another moment of thought, I bit the corner of my lip as I looked back to James. “Didn’t you ever wish you could...”

I didn’t even need to complete my sentence in order for James to understand what I was getting at. This reminded me of what we used to do back at Hogwarts, just...know what the other was about to say, or do. Remus used to joke that we shared a brain. Both of our thoughts seemed to have travelled along the same lines, and we shared a small smile before he nodded. “I did, of course...luckily I had Lily to convince my otherwise before I made my final decision.”

He laughed as I shook my head, staring at him as if disappointed. “You always did do whatever she asked of you.”

“Well,” he said, his lips curving upwards into a half smile. “Though I hate to admit it...She’s usually right mate.”

Sighing, I nodded, glancing down at my feet. “I know.”

“She taught me that patience will serve you well in the end...and that some things are just worth waiting for,” he said softly, his voice just loud enough for me to hear.

My eyes flickered back up to his, and I perked an eyebrow. “And if I go?”

A smile spread over James’ lips then, and he made his way over to me, raising his arm so that the glowing orb was mere inches from my face. “You come with me...” he whispered.

I opened my mouth to respond, but James cut me off with a non-verbal nod towards the still rotating sphere balanced just above his palm. Arching an eyebrow slightly, I followed his gaze to stare into the orb, and what I saw made a grin pass over my lips. “It’s me...” I stated, and quite unnecessarily at that. Sure, it was me. A much younger me...The jovial and handsome young man I was before Azkaban.

“It’s you...” James confirmed with a single nod of his head. “The you before all of the burdens this life set on your shoulders. They lift as you pass, and this is you how you should be...” he informed me, glancing at me before he looked back into the orb, “this is how you were meant to be.”

I hesitantly lifted a hand to touch my cheek, smiling slowly at the smooth skin I felt beneath my fingertips, and I nodded as I moved my eyes back to James. “I’ll pass...I’m not afraid.”

“I know you aren’t,” he said with a smile before he turned his back to me and released the glowing sphere. It circled for a moment in mid-air before bursting into the full-fledged light again, and this time, I was surprised to find that it did not pain my eyes.

Taking a few steps towards it, James looked back over his shoulder at me. “You have one more decision left.”

Moving to stand beside him, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “How many bloody decisions do I have to make before I can pass!”

Laughing, he gave me a pat on the shoulder, turning to face me again. “No one said death would be easy.”

I heaved a sigh, but couldn’t help but smile at the fact I was speaking face to face with him again, my best mate. “So what is it?”

James inclined his head slightly, and I had a foreboding sense that what was to come was something serious, and I was right.

“Before you pass completely...You have the last option, of visiting one person. They’ll remember it as a dream, but-”

“It was you...” I cut in, my eyes slightly widened as something dawned on me then. “I thought it was a dream...Blimey, it was really you...”

Laughing quietly, James nodded. “Yea, that was me.”

At this realisation, I felt the hot sting of tears pricking the corner of my eyes, and I took in a deep breath before speaking. “You...You chose me?” I asked.

“I did,” he confirmed with a nod. “Lily chose Harry.”

Pressing my lips together, I stared down at my feet for a moment before I’d composed myself. Looking back up at James, my decision was made. “I’d like to see Remus.”

He nodded, letting out a soft laugh. “Almost a new Marauders tradition, hm?”

I nodded as well, and for a moment, we just stared into each other’s eyes before he turned to go.

“James,” I said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

He smiled as he looked back at me. “”You’ll be fine. Just concentrate on who you want to visit...When you’re done, you’ll see this light again, walk through it, and on the other side I’ll be waiting for you, and-”

“Thank you,” I cut in, giving his shoulder a small squeeze.

James opened his mouth, then shut it as he reached back to place his hand on top of mine. “What are friends for?”

I returned his smile with a lopsided one of my own, taking a small step back. “See you on the other side James.”

He turned to face me then, chuckling quietly. “Yeah, and hurry up. We have pranks to pull, chaos to cause, you know, make up for lost time,” he said with a nonchalant shrug and a devious sort of smirk.

“On the other side, James,” I repeated with a matching smirk of my own.

“I’ll be waiting for you there, Sirius,” he replied, and in the blink of an eye he was gone...

...but I wasn’t alone anymore. Prongs and Padfoot had reunited, and as I watched the light fading, the words of a very wise Evans’ woman ran through my mind...

‘Some things are just worth waiting for.’