Mwahaha! You have asked for a humor dream, you shall receive! But I am a
liar! Sorry, this dream shall be about Yahiko! ^_^ Well, mostly
anyway.......poor Yahiko, has a bad, bad dream....... I'd probably wake up
crying in terror if I had this dream....... *snort* I'm glad I thought of
it last night.
OHHHH! And I'm glad some people liked the last chapter! ^-^ Uh, A/M is
always and will forever be the best pairing ever. ^____^
Characters- Yahiko, everyone else
Point of View- Yahiko's POV, of course.......
Pairing- Yahiko and Tsubame are already together(in the dream).......^^;;
Note: Try not to get creeped out by this fic, okay? Just.......try not to
freak out and eat your computer. Uhm.......what else.......? Oh yes.......
this isn't AU, but they talk about BINGO and stuff.......which I'm pretty
sure they didn't play in Meiji Japan.......K?
I am sitting beside my lovely wife, who is.......wait just one darned
minute.......I don't HAVE a wife.......do I?
I look to my left and see Tsubame sitting beside me. Heyyyy who am I to
I glance down at myself to see that I am not 10 any more. Gee, where does
time fly? I even look to be 18 years of age or so....... How cool is that?
I'm all muscley and stuff.......Cool.......
"Darling?" Tsubame asks me. Wow, it's going to take me some getting used
to....... But I guarantee I like the sound of it.
"Can we go to the Himura's?" she questions, turning the pages of the book
she is reading.
"I suppose," I answer. "I mean, I don't see why not. I'm sure the b- er-
Kaoru would love to have us over."
"I hope she's doing all right.......in her condition and all.......
"Condition?" I question. "What condition?"
"She's......." she whispers, and I catch it all, my face blanching white.
(I won't say what she said)
"What?! I don't believe you......." I mumble, chewing on the first thing I
find, which happens to be a sewing needle.
"Believe what you will Anata," she states, smiling confidently. "But
please stop chewing on my needle......."
"Oh. Sorry. When did you want to go?"
"I was thinking.......oh.......today maybe," she blushes prettily and I
feel my face stretch into a grin. She's so beautiful.......and only 17
years old too. I am one heckuva lucky man.
"Well, it's only 11:00, so I think we have plenty of time," I state,
standing up. "I don't have any students today....... Shall we go?"
"Sure!" she smiles widely and grabs a bookmark to mark her spot.
She stands beside me and takes my hand, and we make our way down the
streets of Tokyo.
I open the door of the very, very quiet dojo less than a half hour later.
The dojo's never this quiet.......
"Hey BUSU!" I yell, running around in the halls, seemingly forgetting about
Tsubame. I'm very curious to find out what's going on around here.
"In here Yahiko-CHAN!" a voice calls, and even though it sounds nothing
like Kaoru's, I know it is hers.
It's coming from the kitchen. I yank open the door and gasp.
Tsubame was right! I gasp and pant loudly, and my mouth refuses to work.
She was right. Kaoru's......OLD.......
"Ahh.......good morning Yahiko," she rasps, turning around.
My jaw drops to the floor. She's so.......
"Ahhh.......you've grown up....... Pick your jaw up, I'm taken. Though I
know I'm sexy......."
I nearly die at that statement.
Kaoru's hair is grey and in a bun on her head, and she is wearing her
favorite kimono, the yellow one, and her eyes are still blue but shrunken
in. She is old.......
Sexy? I think not.
"Yes Yahiko, Miss Kaoru is mine......." another raspy voice cackles.
I turn my head to stare at Kenshin, who doesn't look like Kenshin anymore.
His eyes are beady and purple, and his hair is whacked off short, but it's
"Uh.......yeah......." I sweatdrop.
"I hate to say it," Tsubame grins in my ear. "But I told you so."
"Who told who what?" another person cackles, obviously hard of
hearing....... It's Sanosuke, I know it. His hair looks the same, only
it's grey, and his red bandana is rather.......threadbare. His skin hangs
off his frame, making him resemble a skeleton.
A woman clings to his arm, and she's old as hell too, I suppose she's
"Hey fox! Roosterhead!"
"What?" Sano asks her.
"He called you a pig dear."
"Oh, okay." He scratches his chin. "Been a long time since I've seen ya
last Yahiko," he grates, his mouth opening to reveal missing teeth. "Yer
I nod, barely thinking straight.
"Ahh," Megumi grins, little grey fox ears popping up in her grey hair.
"Misao and Aoshi will be glad to see you Yahiko! Ohhohoho! They're in the
"Dinner's almost ready minna!" Kaoru choruses.
And I walk into the other room. My jaw drops to the floor again, and I
take in the scene before me. An old woman with long, long grey hair (gee,
guess who?) is making out with a tall, grey-haired guy.
Oh dear God. I think my life is over. That is.......gross.
Beyond gross even.
Misao and Aoshi.
The freaky thing about them, is that their eyes are still EXACTLY THE SAME.
Isn't that strange? Over in the corner are people I recognize immediately
from one characteristic or another. Enishi's white hair is.......still
white, and Katsu still has on his green bandana, that's in basically the
same condition as Sano's.
And Soujirou, well, he's still got those perfect teeth.
And he's smiling like an old fool.
Which he is.
But there is one person I don't quite recognize. He has large arms, but is
very skinny, he's tall, and has deep dark piercing eyes.
And he's yelling.
"I'm old! I can't see! I can't hear! I can't breathe right!"
"Quiet Hiko," Katsu soothes, long grey hair bouncing energetically.
Hiko?! Oh dear.......I think I'm going to.......
"DINNNERRRRR!" Kaoru yells, and I dash into the kitchen with everyone else
to claim my food.
"I can't walk either!" Hiko screams in an old man's voice. Well, he is an
old man, now isn't he.
When we were all seated together, I spoke up.
"How old are all of you?" I wonder aloud, looking at each of them in turn.
"It's impolite to ask a lady her age!" Kaoru cackles, and Megumi croaks out
an 'Ohhohoho' too.
"Actually, I'm 72," Misao croaks, her eyes on Aoshi the whole time.
"82......." Aoshi answers.
"74," Kaoru grudgingly admits.
"84," Kenshin answers.
"75," Sano chuckles. "I'm old."
"78," Megumi 'ohhoho's'.
"76," Katsu sighes.
"I'm 75 too," Soujirou smiles.
"I'm uh.......I forget......." Enishi thinks for awhile. "I think I'm
76.......but my memory's not what it used to be."
"What about you Hiko?" I ask, turning to look at the.......er.......old
"Ehh......" he cackles.
"Last time I checked, you were 43 and looking like a 25 year old. You have
to be at least 500, because you sure look like you're about 250 years old."
"Ehhhhhh I'm 91," he finally answers. "My age caught up to me 10 fold."
"That's a scary thought."
"Wow Jou-chan, your cooking just as crappy as always!" Sano cackles, eating
"Then why are you eating it?" Kaoru snaps.
"I don't have any taste buds anymore......they all died or
"My brain's malfunctioning!" Hiko cried, slamming his plate into his face.
"Oh, never mind him Yahiko!" Kenshin smiled, beady violet eyes narrowed.
"No bad language around the old folks, Yahiko-chan," Kaoru reprimanded. "As
an old lady, I don't like hearing such language from a young whippersnapper
such as yourself."
Where did Tsubame go anyway? I can't believe she left me here all by myself
with these old coots.
"What?" Enishi asks, cocking his head.
"Did you say something?" Katsu wonders.
"I forget," Enishi answers.
"Ohhohoho! This food sucks!"
"What?" Enishi asks.
".......More?" Aoshi requests.
"Anything for you Aoshi-sama!" Misao gushes sickeningly, and I decide that
I don't want to be old.
Aoshi grinned, and I find out why he never ever smiled. His teeth
He has no teeth! But then again, neither does Misao or Hiko, so I suppose
it's all right for him to smile now.
I wonder what Misao did when she found out?
I snicker and get back to eating.......whatever it is I'm eating.
"What is this, anyway?" I question her lightly.
"Ehh.......I'm pretty sure it's Suzume pot pie.......and we have Ayame a la
mode for desert!"
I spit out my food and try to run.
"HELLLPPPP!" I yell.
The old folks have cornered me.
"I'm going to make you old for calling me a 'busu' for so many years!"
"Yeah Yahiko-CHAN!" Misao leers.
Soujirou just smiles.
"I forget what I was going to say," Enishi sighs. "Again."
And the old people pounce on me.
I cover my head and.......
If you want more, please click the little box on the left that says 'submit
review'. Thank you.
But you won't get the next chapter until I get it written! Mwahaha! I hope
I didn't creep you all out too much~! XD, any ideas for the next chapter?
This is a CONTINUATION DREAM, where the next chapter is the 2nd half of the
If you didn't like it, feel free to express your opinion. If it freaked you
out, do tell. If you want more, by all means, TELL ME! ^_^
Sayonara for now minna-san!