Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize; if you don't recognize something,
I made it up. Any similarities are purely coincidental; the only thing I
get from writing is satisfaction. New title is taken from a song by 3 of
Hearts, from the movie Where The Heart Is, the refrain inspiring the plot a
Chapter 8: I Lied
An hour –and half a bottle of Firewhiskey- later Hermione was sprawled out
on the couch a content, and drunken, smile adorning her face.
"Drink up, Minnie," Harry urged.
"Minnie? That's not right," Hermione looked confused. "My name's
Herminniny. Hermononny? Why couldn't I have a normal name? Like Harry. Just
rolls off your tongue. Hair-ree. Harry."
Harry appeared to be thinking very hard about something. "Nah, I like
Herminny. It's unusual. People remember it."
"Right," Hermione scoffed. "Cause no one would ever remember the name
"Doesn't count," Harry retorted. "Overall, 'Harry' is just too common, too
plain." He made a face to illustrate his point.
"Perhaps. But I'm sure no one could forget those beyootiful green eyes you
sport," Hermione reasoned. "I know lots of people, and not just girls, if
ya know what I mean, who would date you in a second." She attempted to snap
her fingers and failed miserably. "Well, you know what I mean."
"Tha's juss it," Harry slurred. "They go for the eyes, the scar, the name.
They are mighty disappointed when they finally comprehend I'm a real person
and not the superhero I've been made out to be," he finished, his tone
"Then that's their loss," Hermione responded. "'sides, that means I don't
have to share you with anyone." Hermione declared emphatically. "Or share
my Firewhiskey." She smiled devilishly.
Harry laughed at Hermione's expression and drank some more before handing
the bottle to her; they'd long ago forgone the cups Hermione originally
brought out. She finished the bottle in one long gulp.
"Oh, no! We're out of Firewhiskey!" Hermione looked as though she may burst
out into tears.
Harry jumped up. "Juss wait one secon'." He ran up the stairs, tripping
over the top two steps. He came back, skidding to a stop. "Here." He shoved
his package, two very large –very full- bottles of Firewhiskey. "Been savin
"Yay!" Hermione clapped her hands like an excited child. "Oh, Harry. I
could just kiss you!" She shrugged her shoulder. "Why the hell not?"
She placed her hands on either side of Harry's face and placed a large,
sloppy, wet kiss square on his lips, complete with a loud smacking noise.
"Ya know, tha's the secon' time you kissed me tonight," Harry stated with a
smirk. "A guy could get used to it."
"You wish, Potter," Hermione retorted, tossing a pillow in Harry's general
direction. He ducked, avoiding the projectile. He turned back towards her,
a triumphant grin on his face. He was greeted with a pillow to the side of
Harry sat in shock, watching Hermione grin manically. Without warning, he
grabbed the first pillow and hit her in the arm. He smirked and wriggled
his eyebrows before an all-out pillow fight ensued.
They ran around the main level of the house, through the kitchen and dining
areas, hiding behind furniture, occasionally breaking glasses and mirrors,
and other objects that had just been repaired after Harry's rampage.
"Truce!" Hermione cried, a pillow whizzing past her head. "Truce!"
"Had enough?" Harry smirked.
"No, but I think the house has!" Hermione gasped out. She collapsed on the
couch, Harry flopping next to her. They looked around the living area;
there were broken glasses and feathers everywhere.
"Oops," Harry grinned. With another quick, Reparo, everything was back to
its original state.
"Hey, Hermione," Harry asked casually. "What were you an Ron fighting about
"Oh, that," Hermione dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "He got all bent
out of shape because Kevin kissed me."
"Kevin?" Harry asked sharply. "Your Psych partner, Kevin?"
"Yeah," Hermione affirmed.
"Oh?" Harry asked, trying to control his anger.
"We were in the Library, of all places," Hermione began. "We were working
on that large assignment that's due soon. Most of the work was finished, we
just needed a few final things to tie the whole thing together."
"I'm really glad we were partnered on this project, Hermione," Kevin
stated. "I really wanted to work with you. I think we make a great team."
Hermione nodded absently, oblivious to Kevin's attempts at flirting. "Me
too, but right now we should concentrate on getting this done. It needs to
"Oh it will," Kevin said dismissively. "We've found all sorts of studies
and scientific journals to illustrate our point. I'm sure Dr. Jerginns will
Hermione sighed. "I know. I'm just nervous. I always get like this before
handing something in. Just ask Ron or Harry." She chuckled, recalling her
"So, are you seeing either one of those blokes?" Kevin asked nonchalantly.
"Those guys? Nah, they're my best friends. Have been ever since we were
eleven," Hermione explained.
"Ah, ok," Kevin smiled. "So what do they do? For a living, I mean."
"Um," Hermione stalled. "Ron's a....bobby. And Harry, he plays semi-
professional football." She smiled, proud of how quickly she came up with
"Really? For what team?" Kevin asked.
"He's, uh, between teams right now. He injured his, um, groin, and is out
of commission until it heals," Hermione answered hurriedly. "Let's get back
to what we're doing here. Would you please go get the next book on the
"Sure," he replied.
Kevin got up and went to search for the next reference. When he returned,
he gave the book to Hermione. As she became distracted, he pulled his chair
very close to hers. He waited for her to acknowledge him. When she
"...then he leaned in and kissed me," Hermione finished.
Harry looked as though he was going to kill.
"Then what?" he asked, a bit harsher than he'd intended.
Hermione looked at him questioningly, and he smiled weakly in return.
"I told him I wasn't interested in him that way and left quickly. I haven't
talked to him since."
Harry relaxed at this information. "But then why Ron so bent out of shape
about it?" he questioned.
"I don't know," Hermione answered. "He was always so convinced Kevin had an
ulterior motive for partnering me. He just used this as a great big 'I told
you so' moment. I didn't even get to tell him I didn't return it and left.
He made it sound like I threw Kevin on a table and starting snogging the
daylights out of him!"
Harry managed a tight-lipped smile at the image. "Maybe he's upset another
guy kissed you," he suggested.
"But why?" Hermione persisted. "It's not like we're together. That was over
before it even began. You can't bloody well be with someone when it feels
as though you're kissing your brother when you kiss him."
"Most definitely not," Harry teased. "I could never be with someone who
made me feel as though I was kissing my brother."
"Prat," Hermione mumbled. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure Ron was just being a
git; you know, acting like himself."
"Ouch, that hurts! You shouldn't insult a man when he's not there to defend
himself! It's just not good form," Harry mocked.
"So I can insult you?" Hermione grinned slyly.
"Nope! Cause I'll just come after you," Harry answered cheerfully. "In
fact, I may do that anyway." He flexed his fingers menacingly.
"You wouldn't..." Hermione trailed off.
"Oh, but I would," Harry retorted.
As if perfectly timed, Hermione jumped out of the way as Harry dove at her.
Once again, they found themselves running through the house, although this
time it was just Harry chasing Hermione. He finally cornered her upstairs,
in his room. He locked the door with a quick spell so she couldn't get away
and grinned mischievously.
"If you just come here, I'll take it easy on you," he coaxed, waggling his
fingers at her.
"No you won't!" Hermione countered. "It's a trick!"
Without any prior indication, Hermione turned the tables and lunged at
Harry. She caught him completely off-guard and managed to get in a few good
shots before he began fighting back. He dug his long fingers into her ribs
as she tried to defend herself. All you could hear was loud laughter and an
occasional squeal as Harry got in a lucky shot every once in a while.
Somehow, the two ended up on Harry's bed, him sitting on top of her; he'd
effectively pinned her in place.
"Ha! I win! I am the champion!" Harry gloated. "Give up?"
"Oh yes! You're so much stronger than I am," Hermione pretended. "NOT!"
She made a sudden movement to escape and ended up hitting Harry in the jaw.
"Oh my gosh, are you ok?" she asked in total concern. She sat up to take a
better look at it, but Harry had other plans. He jumped at her inattention
and began his quest to tickle her into oblivion in earnest. Poor Hermione
never had a chance.
"HARREEE!" she squealed. "STOOOOOP!!!"
"Nope," was his answer.
Hermione tried to retaliate, but Harry had figured out a way to pin her
wrists together to keep her from using her hands. He sat on her hips and
had her completely immobilized. She tried to wriggle free.
"Uh," Harry said awkwardly. "You may not want to do that."
"Scared I might be able to get back at you?" Hermione asked triumphant,
"Minee. Stop. Please," Harry begged.
"Why?" she asked, carefully.
Harry looked at her meaningfully and raised his eyebrows. "Do I really have
to answer that question?"
Hermione's eyes widen in realization. "Sorry."
"S'ok," Harry mumbled. He shifted his body and rolled off Hermione,
choosing to lie next to her.
Out of the silence, Hermione burst into giggles. "I'm sorry. It's just....you
were...getting a....woody," she managed to squeak out through her laughter.
Harry reddened. "It's a reflex. You of all people should know it's not
something you're able to control. It's just...happens."
"I know," Hermione calmed herself for a couple minutes before bursting into
"Oh, you're so going down, Granger!" Harry renewed his attack on a helpless
"AHHHH!!!" Hermione couldn't do anything to defend herself; she was
completely at Harry's mercy. She was laughing so hard she started coughing
violently and sat straight up.
"You ok?" Harry asked, lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, peering
at his best friend.
Hermione nodded and resumed her prone position, letting out a cough every
once in a while. She was getting sleepy when she was pulled out her semi-
"You still awake?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," she rolled over and faced him.
He gave her a half-smile as he reached out and brushed a stray curl out of
her face. Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she and Harry locked
gazes. There was a look on his face she had never seen and his eyes were
that dark green she'd glimpsed earlier. They just stared at each other,
unblinking, Harry's hand resting above Hermione's head.
"Minee," Harry said softly. "Do you remember what I said earlier? About it
being a one-time thing?"
"Uh huh," she breathed.