Dear Trap,
I know I've written twice this month already, but some invaluable information has just been dropped into my lap. No, Flagg has divulged any top-secret info, this spilled from the mouth of a young corporal. You may know him, short, wears glasses, kinda clunky? The guy who bore witness to the atrocity that you and that ferret committed while I was in Tokyo!

You know I fully support acts of degeneration, but degeneration between a degenerate and a degenerator? Male degenerates and degenerators? Not in my tent! Especially not when Radar could walk in. What the hell were you thinking? You weren't, you were. dear God, they don't even have a name for that! Jesus!

I hope you're ashamed of this, you irresponsible bastard. The kid'll have nightmares. Bad nightmares, the worst, I would know.

Until you come groveling,

Hawkeye

P.S. Tell Frank, "I know what's going on."*