Author's note: Hey, I had this idea pop into my head so I wrote it all down before I forgot. It's my first non-romance story. It's very angsty and sad. It's also all in Kaiba's POV. I find him very easy to write about. I seem to be able to capture how he would have felt had I been in the situations he was in. I know this isn't exactly what happened, but given my information, I've built this little story off of that. So, I hope you like it. I was crying when I finished it. Also, I'd appreciate feedback.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Seto Kaiba, much as I wish I did. This story is dedicated to our beloved CEO. Please, whoever reads this fic, please review. It would mean so much to me. I put a lot of effort into writing this story so I hope you enjoy it. Read on!

Am I someone who likes to dream about meeting someone special? Am I someone who goes gah-gah over someone the first day I meet them? Am I someone who falls head over heels in love easily? Am I someone who will beat the crap out of you if you ask me anymore of these ridiculous questions?

To all of the questions except the last one: No. I am not a sappy, happy-go- lucky person. And why not? You might ask. Well, for starters, let's talk about my past. It's not picture perfect. Hell, I don't think anyone's is. Well, actually, maybe ONE person. Yugi Muto has the perfect life. Friends and fame...everything I envy him for. Who am I? Oh, I'm sure you know me as the cold-hearted CEO of KaibaCorp. The wingnut, the dirtbag, the sleezeball, the spineless bastard. Actually, I just go by Kaiba now.

I don't care what others think of me. And why should I? I'm rich and famous. I could sue them if I needed to. And I've got my little brother Mokuba with me. Anyway, I'm drifting off the subject. You're here to learn about my past, and you shall. It's not for the faint of heart. So if you're prepared to sit down and ball like a baby, then go ahead. I'm not stopping you. But I don't want any of you reading to give me sympathy. I have never told this story to anyone. It's private. So don't go blabbing about it to others. The last thing I need are sympathetic letters and taunts.

So, let's start. It all began the night my mother went into labor with Mokuba. I was told to wait in the lobby. My father had gone in an hour before to help my mother. I could hear her screaming and I closed my eyes thinking about how much pain she was in. I wasn't even 5 years old yet and I understood how hard it was to deliver a baby. Two hours later, my father emerged from the room.

"Daddy?" I said softly. "Is my Mommy all right? Can I see her now?"

He bit his lip and shook his head. Was it just me, or were there tears in his eyes? "Seto, your mother's...well, she's in heaven now, son," he said calmly.

I stared at him for a long time, trying to understand what that meant. Heaven was where the angels were and where God was. But why would Mommy be there? She had always promised to be there for me. She said she would sing me a song tonight. "Daddy, is Mommy an angel?" I asked.

He smiled faintly. "Yes, I suppose she is," he answered. "You have a new baby brother, Seto." A doctor handed a little bundle over to my father who in turn gave it to me. I looked down into the large purple-gray eyes of my new brother. "His name is Mokuba," my father said.

"Mokuba," I repeated. "Hey Mokuba, I'm Seto. You're big brother." He squirmed in my arms and I smiled. "Daddy, did you see that? I think he understood me!"

"That's great, son," he replied. When we got in the car to go home, I knew that Mommy was never coming back now. We drove in silence. When we got home, my dad immediately brought Mokuba up to the nursery that we had all built together. I stayed downstairs and ran into the living room. My favorite cartoon was on and I never missed it. But suddenly, watching a bald hunter trying to catch a gray rabbit wasn't as entertaining as it used to be. I used to watch it with my mom. I wrapped the quilt she had made around me and sniffed. Tears came to my eyes.

"Mommy," I whimpered. I pictured her in heaven as a happy angel. But I was still sad knowing that one of the most important people in my life was gone forever. My dad came back downstairs.

"Seto?" he called. He walked into the living room and saw me crying. "Son, what's wrong?"

"I miss Mommy, Dad," I sobbed. I was in relief when I heard him mumble, "I miss her too." He took me in his arms like he always did and hugged me. He rocked me back and forth like Mommy used to do when she was still alive.

Four years later, Mokuba was already 4 and I was 8. I felt grown up as I prepared to make Mokuba some breakfast all by myself. Dad said I should be tall enough to reach the cabinet, but I still used the chair to get the cereal. Just as I was getting the box, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" I called, almost falling off the chair. Mokuba was sitting in front of the television watching a Disney show.

When I opened the door, there was a policeman there. I had always dreamed of growing up to be a policeman. They were so cool! "Hi, can I help you?" I asked politely. Mom and Dad had always taught me to be polite to strangers, no matter who it was.

"Yes," the man sighed. "I have some bad news."

"Bad news?" I repeated.

"It's about your father."

"Dad? Is he okay?"

"No, I'm afraid that he's...gone. I'm sorry."

*Gone*. That word hit me like a thousand knives. I gulped and looked back at Mokuba. "Thank you, sir," I said softly.

"I want you to know that you can no longer live in this house. You must go stay at an orphanage."

"An orphanage? What's that?"

"It's a place where children who don't have parents go to."

"Oh. Can I tell my little brother first?"

"Of course. Then you'll need to pack what you'll want and need."

"Okay. Thanks again..."

"Jim, call me Jim."

"Thank you, Jim."

"No problem, kid."

Jim was kind enough to drop us off at the Domino Orphanage. "Well, here it is," he stated as he helped Mokuba and I get out of the car. "I'll sign you both in."

"Hello, officer," a chubby woman said at the front desk. "Who's this?"

"They are Seiji Ryu's boys," I heard Jim reply.

"Oh dear. Seto and Mokuba Ryu, eh? Well, I'd like to welcome you to the Domino City Orphanage. Please make yourselves at home. The other children are in the playroom."

I grabbed Mokuba's hand and looked back up at Jim. "Go on," he said with a big smile. "Nothing bad is gonna happen."

I nodded and led the way into the playroom. Kids of all ages were there. I saw some teenage boys over by the TV playing video games and other kids probably my age playing with cars and trucks. There were girls playing with dolls, except one. I noticed a girl my age in a grubby shirt and shorts with long chocolate brown hair. She had big brown eyes and a wide smile. "Hi!" she said. "My name is Emily. Who are you?"

"I'm Seto and this is Mokuba," I replied stiffly. I had always felt uncomfortable around girls.

"Wanna be friends?" she asked.

"No! Girls are icky!" I growled in response before I could stop myself. Emily winced as tears formed in her eyes. She ran away into the corner and stayed there. I wasn't exactly happy about what I had done, but wasn't angry either. Mokuba clung to my hand tightly.

"Big brother, I want Daddy," he said.

"Dad's gone, Mokuba," I answered. "He's not coming back. We're on our own now."

He looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. I hugged him tightly. "It's ok, little brother," I said. "We'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Mokuba smiled and hugged me again.

We stayed at the orphanage for what seemed like forever. It had only been 3 years exactly. I was now 11 and Mokuba was 7. I was the chess champion at the orphanage now. Most everyone envied me. I noticed Emily sitting in the corner as usual with her legs up to her chest. I felt slightly bad for treating her the way I had since I had come to this place. After all, I didn't really know her story, so I couldn't really judge her from appearance, could I? I slowly got up from my chair and walked over to her.

"Emily?" I said softly.

"Oh, it's you," she said coldly. "What do you want, Seto?"

"I wanted to talk. I'm sorry for what I said to you the day we met."

"What? About girls being icky? It's no big deal. I should've known. Many boys at 8 don't like girls."

"True, but I've been rude to you ever since then. For that, I'm sorry."

Emily turned toward me and smiled. "I accept your apology."

"So...why are you in the orphanage anyway?"

She looked solemn. "Oh, I'm sorry-" I began, but she cut me off.

"No, you deserve to know. My mom was really young when she had me. She tried taking care of me, but she had school to go to and a job, and she couldn't pay to take care of me. So she left me here."

"That's horrible."

"Nah, it's better this way. She needs her life and I need mine, ya know? So what about you?"

I looked down. "My mother died while giving birth to Mokuba. And my father died in a car crash 3 years ago."

"Man, you've had it rough."

"Not as rough as you."

"Seto, don't pout like that! I like you better when you smile." She blushed after she said that. I blinked a few times in surprise and blushed as well.

"Thank you. You look nice when you smile too."

"Really? Thanks, that's so sweet." The next thing I know, she's kissed my cheek causing me to flush a deep crimson. "Remember that for when you feel lonely or sad," she said and walked away.

I smiled and nodded. Emily had given me my very first kiss. It wasn't as bad as the other boys had made it out to be. The next day was Christmas. I was so excited. I had gotten Emily something really special. Nothing too expensive, just a flower that I had picked from the garden outside. I figured that if it worked on cartoons, it could work in real life too. I waited by the Christmas tree with Mokuba beside me. I didn't see Emily at all.

"Miss Hutchinson," I said to the orphanage lady. "Where's Emily?"

I saw her face explode with tears. "She got very sick last night, Seto," she sobbed as she threw her arms around me. "Emily died in her sleep. She told me to give you this before she went though." I saw her take out a small angel pendant that was clear white. There was a note as well.

Dear Seto,

I wanted to get you something you'd always remember for Christmas this year. So I got you this angel pendant. It reminded me of how you described your mother. So now, your mom can be with you wherever you go.

Your friend,

Emily

I felt like crying again for the third time in my life. Three people I had loved had vanished from my life. I could only hope that God wasn't planning on taking Mokuba next. I let Miss Hutchinson hug me for the remainder of the day. I was just so depressed. The spring came a lot sooner than I had hoped. Everyday at 7:00AM I would go outside and visit Emily's gravestone. I missed her deeply. She had been my first friend. No one could replace her.

Then I heard the other kids talking about some rich guy named Gozaburo Kaiba that had come to the orphanage to adopt a son. Knowing from experience, he probably wanted the smartest one, which was me. I was the genius of the orphanage and I was often picked on because of that. Mokuba came out to find me saying, "Big brother! That man's here!"

I hurried inside and got a good look at the man called Gozaburo Kaiba. He was tall and slightly chubby with a beard and mustache on his face. His eyebrows were thick and when he spoke, his voice was harsh. "I'm looking for a very smart boy," he said to Miss Hutchinson.

"Well, you're in luck," she said. "Seto here happens to be our smartest boy."

The man turned to look at me and frowned. "He doesn't look like much," he snarled. "Looks a bit like a shrimp. But nothing a little training can't handle. C'mon, let's go, boy."

"No, not without my brother," I protested.

"What?" Gozaburo snapped.

"I challenge you to a chess game, Mr. Kaiba. If I win, you adopt my brother and I."

He looked skeptical but smiled in a nasty sort of way. "I agree. Let's begin, Seto."

Our match began. Other kids had mentioned that Kaiba was a chess champion, but so was I. And luckily for me, I won the match. Gozaburo looked pleased as he took Mokuba and I away from the orphanage. I was going to a real house this time. I had a feeling though that something bad was going to happen. How right I was.

When I turned 12, I received no party and no gifts. I was locked away in my room without food or anything. Gozaburo was busy in his office working on his beloved computer while I rotted away. Suddenly, the bedroom door opened and Gozaburo walked in. "Did you come to wish me 'Happy Birthday'?" I asked expectantly.

He just laughed coldly. "Now why would I do a stupid thing like that?" he asked. "How dare you expect ME to give you sympathy, you little brat! I think it's time you were punished!" He took out a whip and lashed my hands with it until I was bleeding. "There, that ought to shut you up for awhile." It was at this moment when I learned the meaning of the word 'hate.' I hated Gozaburo Kaiba. I hated everything about him. He didn't deserve to live. My once carefree heart had been replaced by an ice wall. Mokuba was the only family I had left and he was the only one I would allow myself to care for.

Gozaburo made me work on computer analysis and simulations. Everything I created, he said was bullshit, but I knew otherwise. I knew he was secretly using my creations for himself. He was a spineless bastard. If I ever misbehaved or skipped lessons I would be beaten. But one day, when I was 14, Gozaburo dragged me into a dark room and strapped me to a chair. "You're going to love this, boy," he sneered. "I know I shall." He grabbed his whip again and whipped my face hard. Blood trickled down my cheek. I glared up at my stepfather. I wanted to kill him, to cause him as much pain as he had caused me since he adopted me. Then, I saw Mokuba being brought in as well.

Gozaburo tied his wrists against the wall and readied his whip. "No! Don't!" I cried, but it was too late. He had already brought the weapon down on my brother's bare back. My eyes widened in horror as my own flesh and blood was beaten. Scars formed on his back, just like my own. "Mokuba! Stop it!" I shouted to Gozaburo, my face brimming with tears. "He doesn't deserve this!"

He smirked and lowered his whip. "Let this be a lesson to you, boy," he snarled. "No one defies me, understand? If you ever disobey me again, it'll be triple the pain next time."

I nodded and gulped. He untied me. Once he left the room, I ran to Mokuba and carefully took him down. "I'm so sorry, little brother!" I cried hugging him. His blood stained my clothes but I didn't care.

"It's okay, Seto," Mokuba replied wincing. "It...wasn't that bad."

"No, this should not have happened. This was all a mistake. I'm going to find Gozaburo and have my revenge." I stood and stomped down the hall to my stepfather's office. He was lazily sitting in his chair and straightened up when he saw me.

"Ah, if it isn't my favorite bastard of a son," he smirked.

"Shut up, Gozaburo!" I snapped. "You don't have the right to call yourself my father! My real father was a kind man and more than you'll ever be! You're nothing but a sniveling lowlife who loves to torment others! My mother always warned me about men like you!"

"Your mother, boy? Is that the reason you always wear that stupid pendant around your neck? To remind you of the bitch you lost?"

"She was not a bitch! She loved me!"

Gozaburo smirked again and stood up. "I don't think you need some silly trinket to remind yourself of your dearly departed mother." He swiftly grabbed the pendant that Emily had given to me. He opened the window to the office and held out the angel pendant. I gasped. "Anymore foolish words, or would you like me to drop it, boy?" he growled.

"You know," I suddenly spat, "there is something that I'd like to say. Go to Hell!" I ran forward, grabbed the pendent out of his hand quickly, and pushed Gozaburo out the window. It was a 50ft drop from where we were in the building. He clung on by a mere hand. I looked down at him hatefully. All the warmth in my eyes was gone. "Have fun in hell...*Father*," I sneered and let him fall. It occurred to me what I had just done, but I didn't care. Gozaburo Kaiba was out of my life forever. I could be my own man again and live freely. Soon after that, I became the official owner of KaibaCorp, as you all know.

And I think now, after everything that's happened in my life up until this moment, it's pretty much sucked. I've lost a lot of people that were precious to me. My mother, father, Emily...yet, I still remember them as though they're right here beside me, watching over me and Mokuba. I slowly take out the angel pendant that I always kept in my office. I see my mother in this pendant. Even now, I remember what Emily said to me when we became friends: "I like you better when you smile." A smile curves my lips for the first time in a long time. I close my eyes and turn on the radio. A song is playing...*my* song is playing.

I woke up it was 7

I waited 'till 11

To figure out that no one would call

I think I've got a lot of friends

But I don't hear from them

What's another night all alone

When you're spending everyday on your own

And here it goes

I'm just a kid

And life is a nightmare

I'm just a kid

I know that it's not fair

Nobody cares

Cause I'm alone and the world is

Having more fun that me tonight

And maybe when the night is dead

I'll crawl into my bed

I'm staring at these 4 walls again

I'll try to think about the last time

I had a good time

Everyone's got somewhere to go

And they're gonna leave me here on my own

And here it goes

I'm just a kid

And life is a nightmare

I'm just a kid

I know that it's not fair

Nobody cares

Cause I'm alone and the world is

Having more fun that me

What the hell is wrong with me?

Don't fit in with anybody

How could this happen to me?

Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep

And every night is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid

I'm just a kid

I'm just a kid

And life is a nightmare

I'm just a kid

I know that it's not fair

Nobody cares

Cause I'm alone and the world is

Nobody wants to be alone in the world

I'm just a kid

And life is a nightmare

I'm just a kid

I know that it's not fair

Nobody cares

Cause I'm alone and the world is

Having more fun than me

Tonight, I'm all alone tonight

Nobody cares tonight

Cause I'm just a kid tonight

"I'm Just A Kid" by Simple Plan.