Harry had asked if they could go the Three Broomsticks to talk. Remus,
feeling that this was important, had agreed to it. Now they sat at a booth
across from each other, each one with a drink in hand.
Remus watched as Harry swirled his drink around, making the cherry spin
around. He looked down into his own, waiting for Harry to start talking
first. It was his idea to come and talk, after all.
"So." Harry said softly, "you look.good." Remus shrugged a bit, looking up
"So do you. Those Dursleys treating you right?" Remus asked, cocking an
eyebrow slightly. Harry laughed softly, nodding.
"Oh they're terrified to even look at me the wrong way!" he said. "Thanks
for giving them the warning."
"It was our pleasure. Can't have you going back to a house that makes you
miserable now can we?" Remus asked, laughing softly. He looked at Harry,
his laughter dying away as he saw the look on Harry's face. "What's the
"I really miss him you know." Harry said softly. Remus nodded slightly,
taking a sip from his drink.
"I know you do."
"How do you cope with it?" Harry asked.
He was met with silence.
After a few minutes had passed in silence, Harry slowly looked up at Remus.
It was then that he noticed that Remus was NOT coping with the death at
all. Vaguely, he wondered how he could have missed the sunken cheeks, the
extra amount of gray in his unbrushed hair, and the huge dark rings under
Remus met Harry's eyes, and he looked away at once, giving a soft cough.
Sighing softly, Harry looked down at the table. "I've been thinking about
giving up on this whole thing." Remus looked at him, cocking an eyebrow.
"How are you going to give up something that was giving to you since
birth?" Remus asked softly.
"Snape was teaching us some easy to make poisons." Harry answered simply.
Remus looked at Harry quietly. Why on Earth would a fifteen year old boy
want to take his life? It was ridiculous! Then again, no other fifteen year
old had to face the things that Harry would and has all ready faced in his
"Harry, I don't think I'm the right person for you to talk to." Remus said
"Why not?" Harry asked, confused.
"Because I too, have been thinking of ending it for quite some time now."
Remus admitted sadly.
Harry spilled his drink. "What? But why?" he asked.
"What is the point, Harry? Sirius and James were the closest friends I have
and ever will have in this world. They kept my secret and kept me company
on those lonely nights when I was a wolf. Now, I have no one else." Remus
said. He looked at Harry, and his eyes sparkled slightly. "There is only
one thing keeping me from killing myself though." He admitted.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"Me? Why am I the only thing keeping you from doing it?" Remus gave a faint
smile that for once, was a genuine one.
"Because, dear boy, you look so much like your father. Yet, you are more
mature than James ever was. Also, what kind of friend would I be, if I
allowed his only child to hurt himself because of Voldemort?" he asked,
with a smile. "You are my life line in these hard times that are, and
possibly will be in the future."
Harry looked at Remus quietly, his mind racing with a lot of questions. He
bit his lower lip, looking down at the ground. Remus understood, and he
placed a hand on Harry's arm gently.
"I am not adding more responsibilities on your all ready heavy shoulders,
Harry." He said gently. "I was merely telling you why I had not done it
yet. In fact, I was ready to do so, before Hedwig showed up with your
letter." He sat back, and he looked at Harry quietly, waiting to see what
the boy had to say about all this.
Slowly, Harry looked up at Remus, his eyes glistening with tears. "You
know.I often wished that my father was alive to take care of me since I was
a little baby. Then, I hoped that Sirius would take me in since he was my
godfather and all." He looked at Remus, tears falling down his cheeks.
"Would you mind if I looked up to you?"
Remus' throat tightened, his own eyes starting to mist over. As Harry fell
into his arms, Remus hugged him close, shutting his eyes to stop the tears
"No, no of course I won't mind."