Sacrifice

He hadn't said a proper night's sleep in ages. He usually, now, slept only a couple of hours every night. He hated sleeping in the house. Hated the house. The only night he'd gotten any sleep he'd also had a horrible nightmare...his mother and brother staring at him like he was an overgrown cockroach, his mother forcing him to the ground and slapping him around the face, telling him what a disgusting, useless creature he was...insulting his friends to...James was a foul, Muggle-loving brat, Remus was a filthy half-breed who should be shot, Peter was a pathetic little slug...and he'd yelled and protested, wanting to curse her for saying those things...and when he'd finally found his wand, she'd pushed him into a cupboard and left him there. He'd woken up frightened, shaking, furious....mostly at himself for being stuck here.

Maybe he would sleep tonight.

He lay awake in bed staring at the ceiling in the dark for what seemed like hours. It reminded him of Azkaban- Azkaban -he was still occasionally surprised that he was out of the place where Dementors glided past his door every few seconds. Although Kreacher reminded him of a Dementor- a tiny, ugly Dementor...

He had an uncomfortable feeling. He tried to put his finger on what it was. What if Harry was in trouble? No, surely, if that was really it, he'd know for sure...

He finally drifted off to sleep. When he woke up he found himself in a dark room, faced by James.
"JAMES!" He couldn't believe his eyes.
"Hullo, Sirius," James said with a grin. This was adult James- James as he had died.
"It's great to see you!" Sirius was grinning too, then the grin faded. "Why are you here?"
"To speak to you," James said sorrowfully. "You see....it's sort of about Harry."
"It is?"
"Someone...someone's going to die..."
"Me?" He was surprised...no fear in him...
"The world needs to know that Voldemort is back,"James continued. "The Ministry of Magic needs to sort itself out. That bloody Um-bitch..." (both of them smirked) "...needs to get out of Hogwarts before she manages to kill someone. Harry's group of friends need to learn to become the next generaion of the Order...without us...and there are other things too. Important things."
Sirius nodded.
"And...apparently...all this can only be accomplished if someone...anyone...makes a sacrifice. Someone close to Harry, who he cares about...you."
"Yes," Sirius whispered.
The Yes floated on the air.
James whispered "Sirius," and Sirius came to him. He could touch him, he realised.
"You," James annouced. "are the best, most spectacularly stunningly best friend in the world." He grinned again. He was fading now. "You'll want to say goodbye to Harry," he added. "You'll get to..."
"Yes," Sirius said. "Who'll look after him when...."
"I imagine Remus will."
"Ah yes."
"Have to go now..."
"See ya, James..." Sirius whispered, his voice thick with emotion suddenly.
James was gone. Sirius waited, then he saw Harry fast asleep in his Hogwarts four-poster bed. He walked forward slowly. Harry kept sleeping. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder. "Bye, Harry," he said, and then mentally cursed himself for giving such a rubbish last goodbye. He left his hand on Harry's shoulder and touched his scar. "Right. Bye, Harry. I...I hope I'll see you again...think I might....don't get into mischief...heh...." He ran a hand through Harry's black hair. "...goodbye...love you..."
He found himself falling and then woke up in Grimmauld Place. It was, he noted, almost morning- and then he noticed the tears on his face. He wiped them off with the back of his hand but more kept coming. So, exhausted, he buried himself in the bedcovers and slept. No nightmares. Nightmares seemed quite trivial now.
He was going to die...for Harry, for them all...