DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, Hogwarts or any of the characters used. This story is in no way affiliated with the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling so don't compare it with her work.

Alexei Noire xXx =P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 9: Bye Bye! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{At Hogsmeade Train Station, The Potter Clan and Draco unite}

Harry: *with arm round Draco* 'Mione, Ronnykins – you got everything packed?

Ron: *rolls eyes* Is it me or has Harry Poo-cakes gotten gayer since he started going out with Princess Pretty in Pink here?

Hermione: It's you Ron...*sees some shiny pink material poking out of Ron's trunk*...Ron what's that?

Ron: *notices what she's on about* Eeeek! That's nothing!

[Hermione and Harry make a grab for the material, and reveal a pair of VERY kinky pink thongs]

Harry: *waving the thong about* Ronald – what's this?

Draco: *camp* Why it's a new member of the Queer Clan!

Ron: STOP IT! *bitchily and moodily* Give it here!

[Passing students and people give odd looks, Hagrid arrives]

Hagrid: *from above* HELLO THERE HARRY! HI HERMIONE! YO RONNIE MA HOMIE!

Harry and Hermione: Wossup ma homeboy? *hug*

Ron: PLEASE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Hagrid: *spots panties* 0o0o0o0o0 What's this Ronny? PINK THONGS! MOY FAVOURITE! *snatches thong from Harry and swallows them whole*

Ron: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY FAVOURITE THONG!

[Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson and Professor Sally all come over, and in Goyle's case, waddle]

Goyle: How's ma ho?

Draco: *camp* 0o0o0 so you've gone all ghetto today I see Goyle *titters* It's a nice look on you.

Crabbe: *air kisses Malfoy* Hi darling! How do you like my BANGS!

Hermione: AAAAAAAARGH!

Harry: Bloody hell! EXPECTO PATRONUM!

Ron: Hmmm could do with some highlights...

Draco: *camp* To be perfectly honest, darling – they look shit.

Pansy: *camp* But they're just DIVINE! She had them done at the Beauty Boutique! My father bought 5.46789790753820284658390% of that place!

Professor Sally: SHE LIES! SHE LIES! These are not BANGS! This *scoffs* is a PUDDING BOWL HAIRCUT!

[shocked gasps from all around]

Professor Sally: Yes, yes! Believe it, it's true! *applies some powder to nose* We can't all be as gorgeous as moi!

Harry: Anyfence, we better get onto the Woghort's Express.

Ron: The.. what-now?

Draco and Hermione: Oh don't mind him – he gets a bit muddled up when he's had sex recently.

Draco: How do YOU know!

Hermione: I could as you the same!

Draco: Uhhh, I go out with him!

Ron: So what? Alexei Noire's already proven that people don't have to be in a relationship to have sex! Why they rampant sex scenes on his other fics are just LUDICROUS!

Alexei: Shut up Ron, *waves slender Elvish fingers* Now your necrophagous second coming, bashed from the Cradle to Enslaaaaaaaaved!

Crabbe: *flapping about nervously* What is he DOING!

Pansy: *camp* Who is he anyway?

Professor Sally: Oh hello Alexei! *waves*

[Nothing Happens]

Hermione: Alexei why were you singing Cradle of Filth songs?

Alexei: *shrugs* Because I'm listening to one right now? LOL

Harry: Ohhh for fuck's sake.

Ron: What?

Pansy: HE SAID LOL!

Alexei: *slaps Professor Sally round face with wet fish* Silli boi.

Professor Sally: *flabbergasted* I...Fu...

Alexei: *giggling madly* WELL CRAZY CATS I'M OFF WOOOOOOO! LAAA LAAA! *poof*

Hermione: Is he quite alright up there?

Hagrid: ALL ABOARD THE HOGWART'S EXPRESS! YEAH COME ON MA HONEYS AND MA HOMIES GET ON DAT VEHICLE SO DAT YOU IS STREET AND CAN CROOZE WID DA HUSTLAZ!

[Everyone climbs aboard]

Crabbe: *camp* Oh Sally we shall miss you over the holidays!

Draco: *camp* Yes you MUST visit!

Pansy: *camp* Who will I compare manicures to all summer?

Professor Sally: *giggling wackily* I KNOOOOOOOW! *climbs aboard train*

Harry: Sally what are you doing?

Professor Sally: Heeheee! I'm coming to London with you! Yes I am! YOWZA!

Hermione: *tentatively* Great...

Ron: What joy...

Alexei: *on other side of compartment* WHOOPEE!

[Train departs for yet another promising summer...aaaaaaaaww]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #

Heh so last chapter eh? Woot.

Was one of the stupidest fics I wrote I must say. Almost as bad as the Will and Grace one, but this was good stoof.

Alexei Noire xXx =D!