Author: Never-Rebel PM
We've seen her smile, but is there anyone who can get Wanda Maximoff to laugh?Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Words: 1,506 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 08-20-03 - id: 1485399
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIMER - X-Men Evolution is not owned by me, and neither are the characters. X-Men is also not owned by me, neither is the male character whom you will see. Some of you will know him as "Morph", a shapeshifter who can turn into anything he imagines – and also takes on the mutant ability of a mutant he morphs into.
Author- The Dark Vixen
The X-Men had gotten more new recruits - mutants that Wanda found exceptionally irritating, especially in class.
Mystique had demanded that she, along with the rest of the Brotherhood, attend school today and for whatever reason she had agreed to go; maybe because she was curious, or merely bored sitting around in the battered old house all day. After all, not even Mystique could have physically forced her.
Wanda knew only what private tutors had dared to teach her, which wasn't much. Most of them had lasted only one session - some not even that long when light bulbs began bursting and tables started vibrating. They had given her dictionaries and text books to read, but when she began using them as weapons they had been taken away permanently.
Class had not yet begun and most of the adolescents were out in the halls, their rowdy voices blended together in incessant chatter. Wanda had taken a seat in the back of the room, scowling at the few others in the class when they looked at her. Coming in with the Brotherhood had given her away as a mutant, so when the lights darkened and then spurred back to life they gave her wary glances and moved closer to the teacher's desk.
Except one of Xavier's new recruits, who had come over and seated himself on the corner of her desk.
"So I hear you're part of the Brothers. When didja have the sex change?" he asked, dark eyes tinged with feigned puzzlement.
Her lip curled. "What?"
"It's 'Brothers', right? All testicles and no hooters," he said.
The desk suddenly tipped forward, pitching the lank boy onto the floor, though Wanda remained relatively stoical. The other students shifted closer to the door.
"Yowch, that hurt," he said, rubbing his bottom tenderly.
That was the idea, Wanda thought sourly.
"So what's your name?" he asked.
"Vermin," she hissed. "Leave. Me. Be."
The boy tilted his head so that his dark hair, in blatant need of a haircut, spilled over his forehead. "What kind of name is," he imitated a feminine voice, "Vermin Leavemebe?"
A fallen pencil shook once, rose from the ground and shot upward at a fiery speed toward his face. Then it suddenly halted as if crashing into an invisible wall that completely disregarded Newton's second law, hovered a moment in the air and then allowed gravity to claim it again. Find out about the new recruits, Mystique had said. Find out what they can do. Beat it out of them if you have to, Mystique had said. Wanda shoved her back against the seat and crossed her arms. Ugh, she thought, this is despicable. She didn't want to have a conversation.
"Wanda," she said.
"Hi, Wanda," he grinned, "I'm Sidney."
She didn't know what to say or what to ask to ask now, so she just rolled her eyes and glared. Most of the conversations she had had were one-sided - and the talking had not come from her side. Fortunately, Sidney was well equipped in conversation lingo.
"Is that you natural color?" he asked, reaching out to touch her hair.
She pulled away. "Does it matter?"
"And are those contacts? I mean wow, that's a lot of blue."
"I don't wear contacts," she said quietly, teeth clenched.
"Oh. Whoops," Sidney murmured. "I see you like red. And black."
"Aren't you brilliant..."
"Nice necklace," he said quickly. "What kind of cross is that?"
"It's an ankh, not a cross," she said. You imbecile.
"Ah. Okay. So," he smiled broadly, "were you trying to gouge my eye out with that pencil?"
She looked him in the eye when she answered. "Yes."
He clutched his heart theatrically and Wanda's eyes widened as his lank body became a larger, pinker body until she found herself staring at a life-size, pink furry Care Bear. The kids in the classroom gasped and ran.
Great. He can become a teddy bear.
"I'm not feelin' the love, Wandy," he said in a voice that was still his own.
"Wanda," she corrected bitterly. "Call me 'Wandy' again and I will rip out your stuffing, understand?"
"Okay, so you don't like TenderHeart Bear. What about Johnny Bravo?"
She narrowed her eyes as his pink form become something more human – a person with broad shoulders and gravity defying blond hair. He slicked it back and winked at her. Wanda's scowl deepened.
"Don't like Johnny either? Hmm..."
Sidney changed into Hamburgler, a short man with a striped black and white suit and a wide-brimmed hat. He offered Wanda the hamburger in that he held in his gloves and she turned away from it.
He morphed into Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. "Crikey!"
An Indian in a tiny loincloth with many feathers sprouting from his hair. His feet moved wildly, tapping and squeaking in a unique version of a rain dance.
Into a tall gray rabbit with perky ears and a large carrot. He crunched into the vegetable, "Eh, what's up, doc?"
A ballerina in a tight powder blue suit. He raised his arms and did a twirl.
The corners of Wanda's lips began to lift into a smile, but she forced them into a sneer. This was ridiculous - and so incredibly stupid.
He morphed into a woman with a microphone and sang, "Girls just wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun!"
Into a hulking green form bulging with muscle. "Hulk wear frilly underwear!"
Wanda rested her cheek against her hand to conceal her tiny smile.
Into Principal Kelly. "My wife left me for another woman."
She hid her face under her hands and shook her head.
Into Wolverine. "I used to be a woman."
There was a chuckle in her throat, but she put her head down and made it into a groan.
The bell rang as Sidney shifted back into his original body - if indeed it was his real body. Wanda lifted her head, lips tightly pursed, her features hard and frigid again… until she replayed his many brief performances in her mind. She twisted her lips to one side to remain emotionless in front of him, but the images continued to play. Wanda put a hand over her mouth and finally smiled a smile so wide that it hurt her cheeks. Her shoulders rocked with quiet laughter that she tried to not to release, which only left her gasping for air.
A hand then came down over hers and there was a warm air next to her ear. Her eyes snapped open, both seeing and feeling his invasion of her personal space. Her breath lodged in her throat.
"I do a great Buddha impression. Remind me to show it to you some time," Sidney whispered.
His breath on her ear made her feel awkward, a sensation she had never really known before, and his hand made her feel warm, specifically around the cheeks. He took a seat in the desk next to her and she spared him a glance, but nothing more. Her sour visage slipped back into place as the teacher began class with the roll call. And, although her eyes were set to the front of the room, Wanda didn't hear a word the woman said.
I will just tell Mystique that he can turn into a teddy bear...
Author's Note– I have had this completed for a while, but Word has been, erm, broken and I've been unable to save anything in HTML format. -_- Bleh. So I apologize for that!
I would also like to thank the Ice Princess (Incrediblecuznz) for beta-reading this – and for urging me to post this story. I appreciate that. J
Reviewer Thank You's– I would like to thank those reviewers of my previous one-shot, So, How Fast Are You? Because I loved every review that I got! So, thank you to Ellen, GhettoPixiStixLover, buffyangelus1, IwillmarryJustinTimberlake (Yes, answer my challenge!), 101, Chaotic Boredom (And you, you answer my challenge too! Hee hee.), Larzdinn (Ah, glad to know I'm inspiring), Jean, Ororo, Rogue, and Kurt, Hex, Fluff Writer (Oh, I do hope to see a Tabitha/Pietro from you as well!), Taineyah, Incrediblecuznz (*huggles*), Zena Looney (Unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to have time to add another part. I'm so sorry!), Tokyobabe2040 (Tietro is fine by me!), Neo the Magic Swordsman (Take as long as you need to answer my challenge!) and Da Smurf. I love you all. ^_^