Hey James.

It’s surreal. I sit here, and it doesn’t seem real, you know? I keep thinking you’re out there somewhere.

Hi Lily.

How could this happen?

You and me, we were always the ones in the others’ shadows. Guess I’m alone now. No shadows, though, except my own.

It’s nice here. Sad and sweet, the pair of you right here, together forever, I suppose. Eerie, too- it feels like a big joke.

I wanted to go see Harry. See how he’s doing. Dumbledore wouldn’t let me. Didn’t want anyone knowing where he is. Makes sense, but it hurts.

Everything hurts now.

Did you hear? You-Know-Who is gone. Harry did something no one else ever got close to doing. He’s just a baby and already everyone knows his name. Poor kid.

Why Sirius?

You picked him. Of all people. And now you’re gone, Peter’s gone. Sirius is in Azkaban. Serves the traitor right.

I still don’t really believe it, though.

I always was the odd one out. Still am. Thing is, I’m the one who should be dead. And you got it instead.

I… can’t stay, I just can’t. This hurts.

I’m sorry, James. I’m sorry, Lily. Tell Peter I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

* * *

Hi Sirius.

I know you’re not here- no burial, just this memorial with your nickname on it. But I need some kind of closure. I know, I’m a soppy git, but there you are.

I’ve known a lot of death. James, Lily, all those others. Thing is, for someone I had considered scum for so long and only just found you inside again, your leaving hit me hardest, I think.

I was there. I couldn’t save you. I had to look in Harry’s eyes—like Lily’s eyes, just as transparent as hers, staring at me out of James’ face—and tell him you were never coming back.

You always were selfish. Had to be the hero.

That boy saw you as the father he never had. He was ready to give up everything for you. I have to admire that kind of conviction. He may look like James, but that soul is all Lily.

Do me a favor?

Tell James and Lily that Harry’s a great kid. You probably already have, but just tell them from me that for a kid who’s lost so much, he’s got more guts than any of us ever did.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Sirius.

I’m sorry