|Those Left Behind
Author: Hika-chan1 PM
OneShot When the well no longer works, there are those who cannot forget Kagome. Rating for LanguageRated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Words: 1,600 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Published: 08-22-03 - Status: Complete - id: 1489762
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
All IY characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi, I just hope she doesn't sue me for this humble little story.
Those Left Behind
And Inu Yasha Fanfic By Hika-chan
Look at you. Standing there innocently like nothing ever happened. Silent, like none of this is you're fault. Smug, because you know I can't do anything about it. Proud, standing up straight like what you did was your duty.
I hate you.
You took her away from me. I can barely stand to look at you. Yet here I am glaring at you, thinking I might scare you into bringing her back. Hoping that somehow, someway you will give her back. But I never believe it for long. Know why? 'Cause you're a bastard like that. I'm not gonna fool myself into thinking you would ever be that nice to us or her. Bet you don't even know what the word 'fair' means either. It really is your fault you know? Why am I asking, I know you know. I guess that's part of the reason I hate you.
You took her away from all of us, it's been years now since I've seen her face outside of pictures, the ones she gave me not long before you locked her away. She's smiling in them. She was always smiling. Even when she was yelling at me there was always a smile in her eyes. Even when she was struggling in school and facing down death and frantically packing her things to leave. I miss her so much. Miss her laughter, her shouting, her voice, her advice.
Kami I wish I could ask her for advice now. I'd ask he about you. About whether or not I should destroy you for taking her away. Keh, that's a stupid idea. I know exactly what she'd say. She'd say that I shouldn't blame you, that I'm being silly, that it really isn't your fault.
... And she's probably right, but who else have I got to blame? You're my easiest and best target. After all you don't feel anything, you won't do anything, you'll just stand there.
And I hate you for it.
DAMN YOU! You took her away from me! Don't you understand? I needed her here, I need her now! I need her help, her advice, her presence. All I have of her is her memory and her love.
Yeah that's right, her love, bet you're all pissed you couldn't take that. But I know she loves me. She loves everyone, yeah, but I'm the only me she has... or had thanks to you. I just wish I could have at least seen her again. Why couldn't you have given her at least one last chance to say goodbye you heartless thing?
I hate you.
She wouldn't like to hear me say that, I know. She'd ask me why I said something so harsh, why I felt that way. Hate is a powerful thing, she'd say, and it never leads to anything good. At least I think that's what she'd say... maybe not. I don't know anymore... and it's all you're fault. You hear me?
It's all you're fucking fault.
I wonder sometimes if she's smiling now, wherever she is. God I miss her. Why did you take her away? WHY!? Was it some sick joke to you? DO you get some sadistic joy out of watching us suffer? Sure the others don't take it out on you like I do. They think that whatever happened that she's happy. Bullshit. Maybe she is sometimes, but she misses us too. There must be times, nights when she, like myself, can't stop the tears from falling because you, YOU wouldn't give her back. I hate you do you hear me?
I HATE YOU!
I should take an axe or something and beat you until there's nothing but pieces of you scattered about this room. Then I should set fire to your remains and piss on them. But then I wouldn't even be able to cling to the barest hope that you'd bring her back. It's all you're fault...
Your goddamn fault.
You don't deserve the roof over your head. You don't deserve all the reverence people give you. I hate you and all you do is stand there. All you've ever done is stand there and you get a fucking shrine for it and a roof over you're head. The rest of us have to work for things like that. Respect and a roof.
But you don't even do that anymore do you, you worthless stack of firewood?
And THAT'S why I hate you so much. You let her go back and forth for three years and then suddenly you stop. That or you killed her. Did you kil- Dammit I don't want to think that. they wouldn't have let that happen. She's alive with Oniichan right? She's happy right? Right?
ANSWER ME DAMMIT!
Please, please, just give her back, just for a little while, just so I can see her smile and tell me she's ok. I just wanna know she's ok. Hear it from her own lips and not wake up to find that it was just a dumb dream. Why can't you at least give me that?
Every time I pass her room it hurts. My eyes burn, my throat aches, my stomach clenches, and my heart is stabbed.
And you know what's even worse? It's that you're the only damn thing that I have left that could be a real link to her. I give you things all the time, hoping that somehow they'll get to her. But the pile just grows.
The birthday gifts.
You keep them all and I see it. They're still there decaying in your grip. The first letter I wrote three years ago is still with you, just like all the other ones since. But you can't give those to her either, because you don't FUCKING WORK!
Oh god it hurts...
I miss her..
I need her...
She's the only big sister I ever had...
The only one I ever wanted.
I hate you.
You've only done two things in your whole existence that mattered to me. You took my sister, and you stand there.
You're just a stupid old dried up well.
And I hate you.
And I miss her.
And it's all your fault.
But I don't have anymore time to waste on you today...
.... Kagome-neechan. I want you to help me. I wish you were here. I have questions to ask you. How were you so goddamn strong? Why am I so weak? Why can't I do this? Why do I miss you so much? How come mom and ji-chan can accept this and I can't? What can I do to bring you back? When will I ever see you again? Who are you with right now? Where are you? Do you miss us too? Are you happy? I like a girl, she's strong like you, what should I say? She wouldn't ever like a weakling loser like me though... How, why, what, when, who, where? So many questions.
I'm sorry for always annoying you back then. I hope you really didn't mind it when I teased you about Inuyasha-niichan. I wish I had spent more time with you. I wish I got to say goodbye. I pray wherever you are you're happy... at least you don't have anymore tests. Sorry I wasted so much time ranting at the stupid well today.
... oneechan... I miss you
... come back
... it hurts without you…
Hika-chan: My first angsty fic which turned out really heart-breaky too. I can only do so much anger and hate. I had this idea for a while but I finally decided to sit down and type it. A true hour fic too, I almost didn't want to re-read it for typos and things because I was crying almos the whole damn time! Poor Souta!
He doesn't get enough attention in my opinion. And there's so much potential! That said I'm going back to work on "We All Get Our Turn"
Souta: Of course I have a feeling you're going to put me through allot of crap aren't you?
Hika-chan: Why do you say that?
Souta; *Blinks dumbly* Look up! What do you call all that crap you just wrote?
HC: You mean about you not getting enough attention?
Souta: No the STORY!
HC: Huh? *Blink blink, looks up and reads the story* OHHHHH That's sooo sad!! You poor thing! *Gives Souta a big hug*.
Souta: *trying to breath and pry HC off of him* -ack- Oh god please someone else write about me, you can't leave me to just her alone…please? Somebody? Anybody?