Homecoming

It was all ashy greys and fuzzy details. Harry stood in the dark, vast, emptiness, a coldness settling in his bones.

When Sirius appeared, as he invariably did, all familiar face and dreary robes, the cloying emptiness brightened ever so slightly.

Sirius stared at him, grey eyes warm, yet sad at the same. He turned his hand palm-up and then reaching forward, squeezed Harry’s tightly, “Love you Harry.”

“I know,” Harry assured him, tightening his hold on Sirius’ fingers.

“It’s all I’ve got to offer you; I know it’s not much…”

“You’re wrong, it’s everything.”

Sirius’ eyes glittered dimly, then all Harry could see shifted. Black shadows that had surrounded them were replaced by tattered material that swirled and moved in nonexistent wind.

Sirius was now shoving the heavy material away that was wrapping tendrils around various appendages, trying to tug him away, to banish him back into the veil.

Harry felt calm though; he gripped Sirius firmly and wrenched him hard. Sirius fell forward, and Harry caught him, pulled him upright again. As his godfather looked at him, eyes wide, Harry felt himself thaw.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry kid, I’m here.” Sirius’ rough, affectionate voice told him.

Harry awoke immediately, pulling his fallen duvet back over him as an after thought, cool night air rushing through the open window, chilling his room and making his toes numb.

Another wishful dream, he thought, peering at a streetlamp through fluttering, whispering curtains, his sleep for weeks had been tinged with them. Thoughts of long-gone parents, dead godfather must have seeped into his sleeping mind, dreams becoming wanting, hoping that they were there. Somewhere at least, so they could tell him what to do. Help him. Cheer him up perhaps.

Harry once again had to shove the common lonely feelings away and instead rolled onto his side and switched on his new lamp. The lamp wasn’t exactly new though, it was Dudley’s old Ninja turtle one that his aunt had found in the loft. She had been forced to root around for a replacement for his broken one, and she had yelled in that annoying screech of hers, how much of a demon child he obviously was. Violent too, breaking lamps. Harry ignored her, thinking that at least he wasn’t going about attempting to break bones of the local neighbourhood children like her wonderful son did.

Harry hadn’t said a word about his bullying cousin though, knowing that she would only get worse, calling him every name under the sun and patently not believing him. Despite that Dudley often came in stinking of smoke with blood on his knuckles. But as Harry had dealt with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon’s stupidity about their son on many occasions through his youth, he wasn’t going to tell them again.

Harry pulled one of Dudley’s old books off his bedside table and began to read. There was little entertainment in Privet Drive that he hadn’t been banned from, so reading ‘Lord of the Flies’ was pretty much all he could do until daybreak. Harry was sure Dudley wouldn’t know he’d taken it, the binding was still stiff and new, and Harry wasn’t sure Dudley could even read, there was very little chance of him noticing a book of his was missing.

When Remus finally arrived at half-ten in the morning, Harry had already made the Dursleys and himself breakfast, cleaned the dishes and after his aunt’s shrill coaxing, vacuumed the house top to bottom. Though why she thought Remus would venture into Dudley’s smelly, messy room was anyone’s guess. Harry privately thought she couldn’t bare the stench and had forced Harry into tidying it so she didn’t have to.

Remus was his usual shabby self when he rang the doorbell, though his robes looked even more worn, especially when surrounded by gleaming kitchen counters and highly polished wooden furniture that shimmered in the hazy sunlight.

When he had come through the front door Remus gave him a gentle clap on the back, and had wearily asked for a cup of tea.

Harry thought it surprising that whilst Sirius had given him rough, fierce hugs, Remus who Harry had known for longer, was so withheld from giving affection. Harry wasn’t like Ron who became uncomfortable when held, he savoured it. Perhaps it was because he could count the amount of times he was hugged on two hands, he wouldn’t mind Remus giving the occasional bout of cuddles.

Harry could sense that he wanted to reach out, yet he didn’t and Harry felt sad for this broken, hurting man. Harry felt shame wash over him; here was Remus who had so many things weighing his shoulders down, nevertheless kept a smile on his face and carefully avoided contact with humans as much as possible as though people were repulsed by him.

Harry shoved his thought aside and placed a mug of tea in front of Remus, and then sat opposite, his fingers splayed on the table, twisting a piece of twine into knots.

He spoke haltingly of what he had seen that night, though regaling the whole thing, properly thinking it over it all sounded strange. Stupid.

However, he knew from experience that the Magical World was a strange, odd and rather stupid place sometimes.

After Harry went silent and the only thing to be heard was the riotous song of birds, Remus fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a white paper bag.

“Ginger bread man?” His voice was soft and scratchy and weirdly reminded Harry of a woollen blanket.

“Um… Sure. Thanks.”

“I don’t really… Harry, I do tea and sympathy not puzzle solving but bear with me.” He paused, biting the head off his biscuit. “I don’t know what you saw was real, or if it was your magic or something, trying to comfort you. I’m worried though Harry; no not for your sanity, no need to look at me like that. No I mean, if it was him, it means he will do anything to get back.”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“I know Sirius, he’d do anything to be at you side. If he does manage to come back and I couldn’t ever guarantee it, he would most likely have to give up his humanity.

No one comes back past the veil unscathed. I don’t think you’d want him back if he’s not human Harry. It wouldn’t be him, a shadow of him.

There are studies you see, of ghosts and other creatures of the dead sort. Oh yes there are ways to come back to this plane, but it does come at a cost.”

Harry stood when Remus paused for breath, shaking his biscuit crumbs from his tee shirt into the sink, and then fixed Remus with sad eyes. “I get that okay. But all I know is that I want to see him.”

“If anything happens, and there’s more a snowball’s chance in hell Harry, that he’d be different. He wouldn’t be him.”

“I’ll take that into consideration if he ever does appear again then.”

Remus nodded solemnly and seeming not knowing what else to say, decided to make his escape. “I best be off, Dumbledore wasn’t keen on letting me here in the first place, so best not to dither.”

The warm summer breeze fluttered the frilly, fussy curtains and Remus sighed.

“Right. So if you need me Harry, I’m only on the other end of the floo or owl ok?”

He reached and patted Harry gently on the shoulder again “Take care hmm.”

“Right back at you.”

As they both turned to go into the hallway, there was a sudden great crash and irritated barking from the back garden. The dustbin had fallen over by the sounds of it.

Rushing to the door, Harry nearly fell backward when he saw the garden.

There were plants ripped out, rubbish scattered about like a bomb had exploded and in the middle of it all, a great hulking dog.

“Snuffles.” Harry breathed, his eyes never leaving the ecstatic canine.

“Padfoot? Merlin.” Was the only thing Remus said as he steadied Harry with gentle hands and slid open the patio door.

The dog barked once and then transformed into a man. A grinning man who kicked a path through the debris and pulled his Godson into a hug.

“Hey kiddo. How’ve you been?”

Harry’s first thought, as strong, warm, real arms wrapped around him was that he had finally come home, for the first time in years.

Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh on I rush to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' our tails,
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.

I am sorry for the delay in finishing this. I never thought I would. My writers block is chronic and all I can do is apologise to the people reading and enjoying this story. But now it's finished. All done. No more. I wanted to pull the whole fic down but I couldn't because people have reviewed and I just couldn't bring myself to loose all those lovely reviews.

This chapter hasn't been beta'd but please feel free to correct any and all mistake as you see fit. I just wanted to get it posted really, as a thanks to all the local readers who have let me known they're still out there, so this is for you.

I'm done, but thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think. Thanks.