By B.H. Miles

We join our dark lords as they awake for tea with the queen of England. Both Baal and Mephisto are there, but Diablo is running late.

Baal: Where is he? He always does this! Remember my prom? He was supposed to bring my corsage!

Mephisto: Your prom? You just stayed home one night and watched the Dawson's Creek marathon!

Baal: But it was still so magical!

Queen: I am the queen of England!

Meph: Yes Liz, we know.

Queen: I am not wearing underwear!

Baal: Oh, keep talking.

Meph: NO! Please, don't! Baal, shut up!

Diablo (coming in huffing and puffing): Sorry I'm late! I was .busy.

Baal: Yeah right, you just stopped at the bars again, didn't you?

Diablo: Shut up, or I'll sick my Googoo on you!

Meph: Baal, shut up! And Diablo, what do you mean "googoo"?

Diablo: I'm glad you asked, big brother. Introducing the new line of plush toys straight from hell! Here are the Hellspawns!

Queen: I'll take fifty-five and a half!

Diablo: Sold to the women with no undies!

Meph: Slow down, Charlie Brown, I-

Baal: Charlie Brown? What a queer!

Meph: Baal! Watch your language in front of the queen! Diablo, why in our house did you make plush toys?

Diablo: To create an alternative army to counter the teeny babies!

Baal: WHAT? Teeny babies are sooo old.

Bananas (comes rushing through the door with a butcher knife): We are not old! (stabs Baal)

Baal: Ahh! Oo! Eeh! Oh, wait a minute, that doesn't hurt.

Queen: It's the Australians! You'll never get the money back, never! (jumps through a widow)

Meph: What in the world? (grabs Bananas who is striking everything in his path) How did this happen?

Diablo: I told you I was right! See! See!

Baal: Oh my god! I think I broke a nail!

Diablo: You have no nails!

Baal: Well I'd like some!

Meph: ENOUGH! Diablo, do your plushies come to life to?

Diablo: No, not yet anyway. But, if we find whoever makes these evil things, maybe they can help us.

Baal: Why would they want to help the lords of hell?

Diablo: Why not? They sell these things, don't they?

Baal: Touché.