Words Can't Express Anything Anymore

DigiFreak103

DF103: Do you get that feeling of nostalgia, when you hear an old song that you used to listen to constantly? I took some of the CDs I forgot about and started listening to them. I came across StainD's "Break The Cycle" CD. This CD made me feel bad cause I remembered everything that happened the first 4 months of last year (when I started 9th grade) because I wouldn't stop listening to that CD around then. Strange thing huh? That's the time when I wrote all those depressing things e.g. "For You," "Angel's Second Chance," and all of my Jenrukis. o.o;; so I don't rant anymore than I usually explanation short.I miss writing depressing things.(as weird as that sounds) even though I do enough of that with my original fics. - -;; I dun own Digimon...A way of relieving my inner thoughts...here's Words Can't Express Anything Anymore, inspired by Epiphany by StainD.

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"Rain. It falls from the endless sky, making its way to the grateful ground, grateful for everything it's receiving from the droplets. It started raining when I came to see you; it made a slow, rhythmic, pattering sound on my umbrella. Rain can take the lonely effect of a person. It's funny because that's exactly how I feel, lonely. Ironic, isn't it? And then you would've just said, 'No, just stupid,' and laugh."

I smiled, but I felt my eyes sadden once again. "Everyone misses you, you know. But, out of everyone, Renamon and I miss you the most. Please come back." The rain poured as I stood there.

I held your picture in my hand. I glanced at it. "Prom night was great, wasn't it? It was one of the few times I saw you with your hair down, and in a dress, for that matter. It was your first year at prom, and it was my second, my last year." I put the picture in my jacket pocket. "I keep that picture with me all the time. It's very special to me."

I sighed. "No one can ever fill that hole in my heart anymore." My brown hair swayed to one side, as a bitter wind blew. I tried to visualize your face, but it's been long since I've last seen you in person. I tried hearing your voice in the back of my mind, but all I could hear were your mother's sobs.

"It was a tragic day for all of us, you leaving. They said you fought to your last breath, and I can believe that. I don't know how many times the others have come to visit you, but I hope you're not as lonely as I am." I kneeled down, and threw my umbrella aside, letting the cold rain hit me. They felt like tiny needles, piercing through my skin, as each droplet fell.

In my other hand, I held a bouquet of flowers, which now had beads of water on the petals. "I brought these for you. I know you don't like flowers all that much, but I hope you'll accept these." I smiled again. "I want you to know that I wanted us to be more than friends, more than best friends."

"Rika, words can't express my affection for you. I've always wanted to tell you that. Always. I never really had the chance, you know? I thought that if I said anything, our friendship would be over, afraid that you'll never talk to me."

I tried to hold back my tears that have once come out before, a long while back. "After I got the call from Takato saying you were in a car accident, my heart skipped a few beats, worried about your well-being. When I heard you were in critical condition, I dropped the phone." I couldn't hold it in any longer. There was no reason to hide my tears, when the rain fell anyway. My azure eyes were truly the sea of tears.

I regained a little bit of my composure. "When I got to the hospital, I looked for your room. I saw Henry, and everyone else, in one of the waiting rooms. Takato comforted Jeri as she wept, with your mom and your grandma. I didn't want to believe it, until Henry told me these exact words. 'She's gone, Ryo.' My bulletproof heart shattered, hearing those words." I wiped away the tears.

"Words can't express anything anymore, but the regret I feel for not speaking up. I would go back in time, and put myself in your place, just so you could live another day. I just want you to know that." I put the flowers in front of your gravestone. I traced my fingers on the stone, and weakly smiled. Getting my twenty year-old self up, I grabbed my umbrella and left it with you. A feeling of nostalgia overcame me, as I turned around and headed back to my car. "You'll always be a part of me," I whispered, taking a fleeting look back at your headstone, before getting in the car.

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DF103: Okay, I'm it does have vague oh back to writing my other fics. Heheh. Review, if you can. Feedback is appreciated.